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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Apr 9th 2014 new
(quote) Meg-920823 said: I've heard a lot, 'look at his actions more than his words.'
eg seeks a faint lisser! duck
Apr 9th 2014 new
(quote) Meg-920823 said: I've heard a lot, 'look at his actions more than his words.'
agree meg "action speaks louder than words... " this advise can be used not only in dating smile
Apr 9th 2014 new
My priest told me there are plenty of fish in the sea. (He then quickly added that he didn't know where to find them.)
Apr 10th 2014 new
Just because someone desires you does not mean they value you. See yourself and your love as a prize worth earning. You are valuable. Don't easily give yourself away. Don't ever question your self worth. There will be lots of failed attempts, but the failures are worth the triumph.
Apr 10th 2014 new
I also think one might question the 'shoulds' on the shopping list....Ask why should I want a guy who is this specific way? Did I formulate this rule as a stereotype or a result of some childhood perception? It is very interesting to think outside the box of preconceived requirements for a match.
Apr 10th 2014 new
Thankyou for keeping the thread going!!!! Awesome responses everyone!:) wave
Apr 10th 2014 new
"Just because someone desires you does not mean they value you." Bow Bow

What Christie said!!!!
clap

Very wise thumbsup
Apr 10th 2014 new
(quote) Kimberlie-1059215 said: Rob,
I think this might be good advice. As I believe Victor pointed out here, would you ever in real life string along 30 women at a time? Maybe sometimes having too many options is not conducive to finding a soulmate. Whether consciously or unconsciously, a person could always be thinking that "well, he/she is really nice, but I don't know. Maybe someone better will come along next week and I will miss out." I mean, someone help me out here, because I have no idea, but I would venture to guess the ratio of women to me on this website is 3:1 at least, especially if you are talking about men who are free to marry right now.

There are times when I think that our modern idea of romance, love, chemistry, etc has been the cause of fewer marriages actually taking place. Everyone has this idea that they should be truly, madly, deeply in love right off the bat. Um, I don't think that is the case most of the time. Love grows and deepens the more you get to know a person. I think (my opinion only but I am fairly opinionated about this) that men and women who want a truly Catholic marriage, one built on faith, love, virtue, and in for the long haul, should focus on who that other person is at their core, what is the fruits of faith that you see in their lives, are they open, honest, giving, trustworthy. If you have children, can this person love your children as his/her own whether there is ever a piece of paper that makes it legal? Could you love their children as your own? Will this person help you get to Heaven? Can you help him/her get to Heaven?

Love does grow. I am not saying that you should marry someone for purely utilitarian reasons, that we shouldn't marry someone we love, but I am saying that our feelings can be really deceptive. I tell you what, if I left my late husband every time I no longer "felt" in love, we wouldn't have stayed married very long because after the first bloom of love fades, that is when you get into the nitty-gritty of who a person is at their very core. You know how businesses are constantly talking about the importance of core values and beliefs? I think that is a pretty good model to follow when you are dating and trying to find a soulmate.


Great post, Kimberlie. Also going along with the concept that love is a decision, it would be based on the core. The endorphins are great and helpful for a kick start but certainly not the foundation or mortar of the relationship.
Apr 10th 2014 new
(quote) Meg-920823 said: Great post, Kimberlie. Also going along with the concept that love is a decision, it would be based on the core. The endorphins are great and helpful for a kick start but certainly not the foundation or mortar of the relationship.
Good point Meg. Though endorphins can be deceiving. I came to a realization lately that I have "a type" that I am drawn to, and yet my late husband was not that type. Make sense? I have found that a lot of times the type of man that I am initially drawn to, turns out to be a bit shallow in the end, no character, and no substance. I have no idea why I seem to be wired this way but I have learned to distrust that initial "chemistry" and look deeper into the core of his character.
Apr 11th 2014 new
(quote) Kimberlie-1059215 said: Good point Meg. Though endorphins can be deceiving. I came to a realization lately that I have "a type" that I am drawn to, and yet my late husband was not that type. Make sense? I have found that a lot of times the type of man that I am initially drawn to, turns out to be a bit shallow in the end, no character, and no substance. I have no idea why I seem to be wired this way but I have learned to distrust that initial "chemistry" and look deeper into the core of his character.
I totally get what you are saying Kimberlie.
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