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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

I've been on here a little while and I have only had two women respond to messages, both telling me they're not interested (which, I will say, the acknowledgement is still better than silence), and that nobody else who has looked at my profile has ever sent me any communication. They haven't answered my interview questions, haven't sent me an emotigram or anything. I have also noticed that being 7/7 on the questions seems to be the primary thing for many people.

Now, I am 6/7. It just so happens that the one thing I really disagree with in all of Catholic doctrine, the fact that only men can be priests, happens to be one of those seven questions. I agree with everything else: papal infallibility, sanctity of life, the Church beliefs on the Eucharist, contraception, abortion, you name it. Yet I get this feeling that solely for that one question, I may be turning off any chance of ever really getting to know someone on here I may be interested in.

I understand that being 7/7 implies a "stronger" faith than answering "yes" to less than that, but is my answer to one question that really, IMO, doesn't impact a marriage-minded relationship much really that important? Basically, I guess I'm a little concerned that maybe some are looking at the questions and leaving before giving some people (like myself) a chance. Or maybe I'm just not cut out for anyone here.

I'm just starting to get concerned that this isn't the place for me, even though I would like to find someone strong in the Catholic faith as well. That's all.
Jul 1st new
You could try to search for ladies instead of waiting for them to come to you. If you look for it, you can find a search option to look for people who also answer yes to most (but not all) of the faith questions.
Alternatively, you could change your answer on that question and see what happens. There's no way this computer formatted profile thing can cover all the possible interpretations of such complex issues.
If you personally would like to see women ordained, but agree that the Church has the right to set the rules, as agreeing with Papal infallibility would suggest, then you don't have to say "no" on that question.

Jul 1st new
Hello Ben,
That feeling must make you uncomfortable and even sad a little bit or disappointed I would say, and I do understand that. Just for your better information, it's quite a common feeling for most CMers here after being on the site for maybe a short period of time. Really disappointed... because of many reasons we may think of.

Now, I'm just trying to give you some ideas from my view and experiences here only, not saying for others. Not being 7/7 on Faith questions is a reason, yes, but it's not always a reason for not being connected with anyone else here. Others may not be interested in sending you a message or an emote after reading your profile, may come from some other factors as well: your distance, your profile (about myself, about my match, about my views on something that I mentioned in my profile...) which others think that both can't be a good match or long distance relationship is not their wishes. So please try not to assume anything and cause your heart more troubles. We can't never know what is actually a main reason for someone not sending us a message.

So my advice here are:
- Don't assume any reasons, if you already subscribed just try to take a good advantage to reach out to others until your subscription ended wink
- If there's a girl views your profile without showing interest, you can reach to her. Some girls are shy actually (me is an example) so they can't have enough courage to show interest in you first.
- If she doesn't response then, just move on. We can't do anything right?
- Knowing that not only you are disappointed sometimes, as we are human and have some expectations but can't meet those. I've been on here 10 months without having any actual progress, do you think I'm disappointed more than you?
- If there's a girl is interested in you enough, she would ignore one or two things in your profile to get to know you better to try understanding your Faith then. We all know that nobody is perfect. The biggest problem here as I can see is the courage. We are afraid of so many things that stops us reaching out to others and getting to know others better. And I know, I'm one of those persons sometimes :(

I hope you would be more patient a little bit, and just let see how things going before giving up.



Jul 1st new
(quote) Virginia-182942 said: You could try to search for ladies instead of waiting for them to come to you. If you look for it, you can find a search option to look for people who also answer yes to most (but not all) of the faith questions.
Alternatively, you could change your answer on that question and see what happens. There's no way this computer formatted profile thing can cover all the possible interpretations of such complex issues.
If you personally would like to see women ordained, but agree that the Church has the right to set the rules, as agreeing with Papal infallibility would suggest, then you don't have to say "no" on that question.

The 6/7 thing may not be why you haven't found someone yet -- plenty of 7/7s haven't found anyone either. But picking up on what Virginia said; how passionately do you hold your dissenting opinion? Suppose you can honestly say "If I'm wrong in this, I pray that the Holy Spirit will enlighten me; if I'm right, I pray that the Church will come to share my opinion"? In that case (I suggest) you could claim that you "accept" the church's position. "Accept" doesn't mean that you're happy about it or that you wouldn't prefer that it were otherwise. It does mean that you recognize that your opinion may not be the last word on the subject. Does that help?
Jul 1st new
In my experience, the 7/7 folks are less than 50% of the members here. I just did a quick experiment with one of my searches. When I said "no preference" on Faith, I got 7 pages. When I specified 7/7, I got 3 pages, less than 50%. In addition to that, I know that some 7/7 folks are willing to consider people who are not 7/7, as long as they believe most of the 7. I think that the 7/7 folks may be overrepresented on the forums, and some of them are very outspoken, so it is easy for a reader of the forums to think that most members are 7/7, but it is simply untrue.

Personally, I am not 7/7, and am rather flexible, but I might balk at someone who is 2/7. ;-)

While some 7/7 folks may insist on only 7/7 partners, I believe that these folks represent less than 1/3 of the total members. If you are not getting replies, it is not because you are 6/7. I have not looked at your profile, so I have no idea if there is anything else in your profile that could be a problem. Perhaps you should ask a few ladies here to read your profile and give you feedback.

My two cents,
Richard

Jul 1st new
Dear Ben,

If you are a Catholic, you accept all Church teachings, if not, you are not a Catholic. You can't pick and choose what suits you the best just because you don't like this or that or don't understand it.
Every Catholic who take their faith seriously should not marry non-Catholics for the sake of their souls and their future children's souls. Non-Catholics includes "Catholics" who don't accept the Church teachings and think they know better than God and the Church.
You're not ready to be married inside the Catholic Church until you accept all teachings. I suggest you take your time to read more about this teaching that bothers you, try to understand it, and even if you still don't - pray to God for the grace to start accepting it. Your soul is in danger and you should tend to it before starting to court.
Jul 1st new
Hmm...never heard it explained like that.
Jul 1st new
(quote) Jason-903264 said: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59hZz6U9uZ0

Meant to attach this Jason.

Hmm...never heard it explained like that.

Jul 1st new
At first I used to be really sensitive about that 7/7... but lately, not as much. The truth is a little healthy disagreement is okay.

Plus, the seven questions picked are to some extent arbitrary, as is the number of questions. Why not a question on annual confessions, or that the Earth is at the center of the universe? Why not drop a question?

Of course, these questions do reflect basic tenets of our faith, but bland yes/no answers don't necessarily give one the shades of grey in between.
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