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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jul 2nd new
(quote) Robert-834944 said: I'm not going to get into the whole 7/7 issue. Personally, my searches are all set to 7/7 but that's just me. But I was intrigued by your statistics... and I want to offer a critique since I don't think they tell the whole story. What I want to bring up is how other factors play into the amount of 7/7s in the dating pool.

What you said about 7/7 folks being in the minority may be true for your own search criteria, but maybe not for Ben and certainly not for me. I did little experiment with one of my searches. Not changing any other criteria in this particular search, if I change the church teachings to "no preference", I only jump up from 74 results to 77. That's not a very big increase. There are only 3 girls out there worldwide that are being ruled out by the 7/7 filter under that particular search. But then again, I'm looking for girls who list themselves as conservative or very conservative as far as politics goes. I think that may have a large part to do with it as well. In other words, if you're looking for a conservative girl who is not 7/7... then you're probably going to have a hard time. And I have noticed that with some common interests (such as "Lord of the Rings" under one of my searches) conservatives or 7/7 girls tend to make up the majority.

So again... it depends on what you're searching for. I assume a search with an emphasis on liberal politics might have 7/7 girls in the minority.
Robert, thanks so much for posting your own findings, which I think are fascinating and puzzling. Your theory about conservative might be correct. It could perhaps be a geographic issue, as the area that I live in is not typical in any way, and tilts liberal. Perhaps it could be age, maybe older people are less likely to be 7/7; young people tend to be more idealistic, older folks more realistic, or maybe they have learned from their experiences. Or maybe it is the Lord of the Rings affect.......

Perhaps someone else will do their own experiments and post the results.

Without access to the entire database, it is hard to know the reality. Perhaps we are like the story of the blind men describing the elephant, each of us sees the same database very differently, through our own filters.

I would note that some 7/7 folks are willing to look at 6/7 or even 5/7 folks, so if you are sending out letters to 7/7 folks and are not 7/7 yourself, you could still get responses, but at a reduced rate. In general terms, I would assume that response rates would be higher if the person you approach is more like yourself, in whatever field you want to compare. I have certainly found that I am much less likely to get a response from ladies more than two years younger than I.

Richard
Jul 2nd new
(quote) Carol-1007500 said: Your comment is worthy of repeating, Josephine.
Thank you. Who are we to judge.
Jul 2nd new
(quote) Jason-903264 said: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59hZz6U9uZ0

THANKS JASON! That was awesome!
Jul 2nd new
(quote) Ben-1081622 said: I've been on here a little while and I have only had two women respond to messages, both telling me they're not interested (which, I will say, the acknowledgement is still better than silence), and that nobody else who has looked at my profile has ever sent me any communication. They haven't answered my interview questions, haven't sent me an emotigram or anything. I have also noticed that being 7/7 on the questions seems to be the primary thing for many people.

Now, I am 6/7. It just so happens that the one thing I really disagree with in all of Catholic doctrine, the fact that only men can be priests, happens to be one of those seven questions. I agree with everything else: papal infallibility, sanctity of life, the Church beliefs on the Eucharist, contraception, abortion, you name it. Yet I get this feeling that solely for that one question, I may be turning off any chance of ever really getting to know someone on here I may be interested in.

I understand that being 7/7 implies a "stronger" faith than answering "yes" to less than that, but is my answer to one question that really, IMO, doesn't impact a marriage-minded relationship much really that important? Basically, I guess I'm a little concerned that maybe some are looking at the questions and leaving before giving some people (like myself) a chance. Or maybe I'm just not cut out for anyone here.

I'm just starting to get concerned that this isn't the place for me, even though I would like to find someone strong in the Catholic faith as well. That's all.
Howdy Ben...

First of all, give yourself some credit for answering the faith questions honestly... Women value honesty in a man... After all you could've just clicked the yes button... hehe...

I dont know how long you've been a member, but, give CM some time... All in Gods time... Check out the event page and make and see if you can make it to some of the CM events... The events are really good.. Get out and meet some of the CM community...


Jul 2nd new
(quote) Robert-834944 said: I'm not going to get into the whole 7/7 issue. Personally, my searches are all set to 7/7 but that's just me. But I was intrigued by your statistics... and I want to offer a critique since I don't think they tell the whole story. What I want to bring up is how other factors play into the amount of 7/7s in the dating pool.

What you said about 7/7 folks being in the minority may be true for your own search criteria, but maybe not for Ben and certainly not for me. I did little experiment with one of my searches. Not changing any other criteria in this particular search, if I change the church teachings to "no preference", I only jump up from 74 results to 77. That's not a very big increase. There are only 3 girls out there worldwide that are being ruled out by the 7/7 filter under that particular search. But then again, I'm looking for girls who list themselves as conservative or very conservative as far as politics goes. I think that may have a large part to do with it as well. In other words, if you're looking for a conservative girl who is not 7/7... then you're probably going to have a hard time. And I have noticed that with some common interests (such as "Lord of the Rings" under one of my searches) conservatives or 7/7 girls tend to make up the majority.

So again... it depends on what you're searching for. I assume a search with an emphasis on liberal politics might have 7/7 girls in the minority.
Interesting way of looking at it. When I did just this, my matches went from three to three. No change! And there is no mutual interest with any of the three. What you should do is take ALL the filters off completely, then apply the 7 of 7 choice and you will see more than half of those go away. Sad, but good to know.
Jul 3rd new
(quote) Carol-1007500 said: John, John, John. Jim is no longer around to defend himself. And I know that it wasn't your intent to come off sounding like a big fish. But it was his intent to be helpful. Jim is too smart to go out to sea in a damaged boat. Will you please let him off the hook?

Where did Jim go, Carol?

No hooks in Jim on my part. I just wanted to bring to his attention once again the large holes in his boat as he acknowleded in past threads but apparently chooses not to mend, and to the OP the serious dangers with Jim's analogous "advice".

In regards to his advised fishing style... I don't get the brilliance of the "wide net" approach (as a metaphor) on a Catholic site when one is searching for a single partner (one would think, anyway, right?). His suggested choice of searching methodology is seriously off the mark to me. It's like using a stick of dynamite to fish with or a trawler (pulling a very large net) to catch, use for selected purposes, and throw back into the sea all that stinks or was left out to rot and is rendered no longer useful to the fisher when really all one has is a license to find and cherish a single for keeps.

If one must, a willingness to travel long distances is fine, but not to troll with a wide net. It's a method that just a few can really afford, time and again.

To me, to use fishing as a metaphor for finding a marriage partner is just a poor way to look at it altogether. The master-slave, conquered-conqueror, the hunter and the hunted all comes to my mind and it should not be like that in a healthy partnership. It's one of the reasons I am not a fan of the pursue and be pursued method either, when Christ is not front and center. Instead, to me, it should be about being led by way of Christ, following in His footsteps, and finding onself where God intends with whom God intends. One can't do this well if one does not walk in His footsteps. And walking in his footsteps NECESSARILY means willfully accepting ALL required Church teaching, among other things. It should be obvious; really!

Surely men and women here think about this.

As for the grill, I already have two.

Jul 3rd new
(quote) John-971967 said:

Where did Jim go, Carol?

No hooks in Jim on my part. I just wanted to bring to his attention once again the large holes in his boat as he acknowleded in past threads but apparently chooses not to mend, and to the OP the serious dangers with Jim's analogous "advice".

In regards to his advised fishing style... I don't get the brilliance of the "wide net" approach (as a metaphor) on a Catholic site when one is searching for a single partner (one would think, anyway, right?). His suggested choice of searching methodology is seriously off the mark to me. It's like using a stick of dynamite to fish with or a trawler (pulling a very large net) to catch, use for selected purposes, and throw back into the sea all that stinks or was left out to rot and is rendered no longer useful to the fisher when really all one has is a license to find and cherish a single for keeps.

If one must, a willingness to travel long distances is fine, but not to troll with a wide net. It's a method that just a few can really afford, time and again.

To me, to use fishing as a metaphor for finding a marriage partner is just a poor way to look at it altogether. The master-slave, conquered-conqueror, the hunter and the hunted all comes to my mind and it should not be like that in a healthy partnership. It's one of the reasons I am not a fan of the pursue and be pursued method either, when Christ is not front and center. Instead, to me, it should be about being led by way of Christ, following in His footsteps, and finding onself where God intends with whom God intends. One can't do this well if one does not walk in His footsteps. And walking in his footsteps NECESSARILY means willfully accepting ALL required Church teaching, among other things. It should be obvious; really!

Surely men and women here think about this.

As for the grill, I already have two.

www.catholicmatch.com
Jul 3rd new
(quote) Ben-1081622 said: ... It just so happens that the one thing I really disagree with in all of Catholic doctrine, the fact that only men can be priests, happens to be one of those seven questions. I agree with everything else: papal infallibility...


Wouldn't agreement with the latter imply agreement with the former ?

tinyurl.com

Jul 3rd new
Thank you Bernard.
Jul 3rd new
(quote) Carolina-1069841 said:
You're not ready to be married inside the Catholic Church until you accept all teachings. I suggest you take your time to read more about this teaching that bothers you, try to understand it, and even if you still don't - pray to God for the grace to start accepting it. Your soul is in danger and you should tend to it before starting to court.
Ben, in the interest of Caroline's post above: www.askacatholic.com.
Some reading about it may help, and I know, this is not the help you were looking for... but give it a chance. There are many more articles on this topic. Just Google it.

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