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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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I found myself have a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine today regarding dating and background checks. In the world we live in today it is very difficult to know if someone is being completely honest when you date them about their pasts- Now I do not know about anyone else, but I feel that background checks are appropriate especially at the point where you start getting emotionally vested into a relationship. Past experiences dating have also taught me that this is a valuable asset when bringing someone around family, friends, children, etc.

I am interested to hear what everyone has to say about this---
Jul 3rd new
I think in todays transient society...there should be genuine concern about ones welfare and whom you associate with or date, so i understand the thoughts on wanting to know someones background.
However i'm not familiar with how to have one done, but i'm curious if you have one done on someone that you're possibly seeing/dating, is this reciprocal? scratchchin
Jul 3rd new

My folks were married in 1948. Family legend has it that my mom's mother hired a detective to check dad out once he proposed -- and even though the family had known him for 10 years.

I would probably do a background check if it seemed seriously likely that we might want to marry.

Jul 3rd new
One problem is that you will have to do it through some agency which is very likely NOT concerned with protecting the critical, personal, info * you will have to provide on your (suspected) potential future significant... and maybe yours too.
* Note: The term used for this kind of information is: "Personally Identifiable Information (PII)."

Here in Seattle, many people have been/are victims of ID theft because of system/data breaches in background-check agencies used ( some by our Archdiocese) so a number of our Catholic school teachers, administrators, coaches, sports officials, parent volunteers, etc. are now fighting to clear their records and regain control of their identities. (Investigations continue, but have the diocesan systems secure and not storing critical PII).

So, I would say "do what you feel you must, but be aware of the damage YOU might do in the process." First and foremost, trust your own "gut" - if something "feels hinky", it probably is, so back away. wave
Jul 3rd new
Having a clean background check is not going to make me more attractive.
Jul 3rd new
Having a questionable background, however, does make one less attractive, so I tend to believe that the opposite is also true......
Jul 3rd new
YES-DO. Especially if you don't have very good and long standing mutual friends.
Jul 3rd new
In today's world, I guess it is necessary thing to do. Everybody makes mistakes, but it would give some sense of security to do it.
Jul 3rd new
(quote) Maria-1022025 said: I found myself have a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine today regarding dating and background checks. In the world we live in today it is very difficult to know if someone is being completely honest when you date them about their pasts- Now I do not know about anyone else, but I feel that background checks are appropriate especially at the point where you start getting emotionally vested into a relationship. Past experiences dating have also taught me that this is a valuable asset when bringing someone around family, friends, children, etc.

I am interested to hear what everyone has to say about this---
Don't check my background! shhh shocked Nothing to see here. muted ashamed eyepopping biggrin
Jul 3rd new
(quote) Tom-54311 said: Don't check my background! Nothing to see here.
yeah, mine would be boring as well. Not even a speeding ticket.
I always worry about whether the person will find out that you did a search on them. I'm sure it's all supposed to be private but with today's technology, nothing is completely private.
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