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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Jul 6th new
Instead of a background check what I would do is simply arrange things so as to meet all of their friends and family, or as many as was practical. Hang out with the 'gang' that he or she runs with. If they're a member of any clubs or organizations, go to those meetings. Speak to these friends and see how long and how well they know the person you're dating. If the person you are dating has a lot of friends that they've known for many years and family that seems normal/stable, then I wouldn't worry. Also a good sign is if they're involved in their community by way of clubs or organizations or what not. The point is that if they're relatively well adjusted by means of friends and associations it is a whole lot less likely that they're leading a fake life or have serious things in their background that would lead you to want to break off the relationship.

On the other hand, if they seem to lead a solitary life, or their "friends" don't seem to know them that well (are more acquaintances then friends), and/or their family is odd or you are unable to meet them for some reason, or they refuse to meet you where they claim to work, then I would consider a background check. But then, if the friends and family situations seemed odd I'd consider breaking off just for those alarm signs as well.
Jul 6th new
(quote) Tom-991847 said: Instead of a background check what I would do is simply arrange things so as to meet all of their friends and family, or as many as was practical. Hang out with the 'gang' that he or she runs with. If they're a member of any clubs or organizations, go to those meetings. Speak to these friends and see how long and how well they know the person you're dating. If the person you are dating has a lot of friends that they've known for many years and family that seems normal/stable, then I wouldn't worry. Also a good sign is if they're involved in their community by way of clubs or organizations or what not. The point is that if they're relatively well adjusted by means of friends and associations it is a whole lot less likely that they're leading a fake life or have serious things in their background that would lead you to want to break off the relationship.

On the other hand, if they seem to lead a solitary life, or their "friends" don't seem to know them that well (are more acquaintances then friends), and/or their family is odd or you are unable to meet them for some reason, or they refuse to meet you where they claim to work, then I would consider a background check. But then, if the friends and family situations seemed odd I'd consider breaking off just for those alarm signs as well.
Good point, Tom. Nothing can replace actually getting to know someone. This is where a long-distance relationship would be difficult (though not impossible). You would still need to meet his or her family and friends...and if any of those family or friends seem to be mouthing something that looks like "run!", take that into consideration.

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