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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jul 9th 2014 new
Not responding to someone is an answer, just like inaction is an action. I never think of no response as a rejection, I just think God is not leading me to that person.

How can one feel rejected by an individual whom they do not actually know?
Jul 9th 2014 new
Some people just don't know what to do. The first message I received was just as I had mentioned, but after thinking about it for a while I thought it was just silly, and replied hello. I have been replying to messages since. If they answer my questionnaire without a hello or something, I'm not sure what to say since there is really no message for me to answer. Just be yourself and answer honestly. Trust me, no one will be offended. Of late I've declined any interest for a good reason :)
Jul 10th 2014 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said:

I would.


I'm with you, Marge. I always dance with anyone who asks me. It's not easy being a guy and having to face the chance of rejection.

The only exception is men with a reputation for inappropriate dancing.
Jul 10th 2014 new

Regarding messages written personally to them, I say all the "...no response IS a response..." people here, whether women or men, deserve each other.

Good luck in ANY meaningful relationship... much less in a marriage... with that attitude.

"Anyone who is trustworthy in little things is ...", hey, well, you all know the rest... wink (Lk 16:10)

Jul 10th 2014 new
(quote) Michael-76823 said: Well, if they are not a paying member, is it realistic to expect them to pay for a subscription just to tell someone they aren't interested? And as far as increasing the odds that someone will continue sending them messages - plural - by not responding with a "not interested", I'd think that it would more likely have the opposite effect, that by the second unresponded-to message most people will get the point that the other party just isn't interested.

Yes, it is disappointing when somebody who appears to be a person we'd like to get to know completely ignores our messages. But then we have to remind ourselves to not get too invested too soon, before they've responded (or not). It's all part of the online search process. As hard as it is sometimes, we just have to move on when somebody doesn't respond the way we'd like them to. Personally I find it counterproductive to over analyze the reasons why they chose not to respond, or make the judgment that they are being rude, as we really don't know them, or what may be going on in their life at this very moment.
I agree completely.. What positive effect is gained by getting rejection after rejection?.. I can honestly say from my own experience that when the right person comes along everything will work like clockwork. 22 years single and 8 1/2 years seeking on CM brought me the perfect man for me. 11 mos today since we made it official. You cannot force God's timeline.

Best thing is to make contact, then wait.. If they write you back then you have reason to be happy.. If they don't write back, leave them alone.. They are not the one for you.

Jul 10th 2014 new
Love the Chinese version of "not interested." Sure made me smile . . .
Jul 10th 2014 new
(quote) Donna-83441 said: I agree completely.. What positive effect is gained by getting rejection after rejection?.. I can honestly say from my own experience that when the right person comes along everything will work like clockwork. 22 years single and 8 1/2 years seeking on CM brought me the perfect man for me. 11 mos today since we made it official. You cannot force God's timeline.

Best thing is to make contact, then wait.. If they write you back then you have reason to be happy.. If they don't write back, leave them alone.. They are not the one for you.

Donna! You're back! ...or I've just been on the wrong forums. You look radiant in your picture. Congratulations on finding your love.

I don't take offense if someone doesn't respond to my messages. It's just a clear message to me that they are not interested. That's their choice. I will be patient.

Besides, I have a 38 year old son who isn't married or hasn't joined the priesthood/monastery. How can I be so selfish to pray for my soul mate when he hasn't had his 1st soul mate.

So I'm praying for him...also. wink Praying

Jul 10th 2014 new
So agree w/you about God's timeline. My husband-to-be and I were both on here and met 18 years after divorce and annullments. 9 months later we were married and had 5 great years together. When/if the right person comes again, we'll know.
Jul 10th 2014 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said:

The old Not Interested was devastating.

What could be so awful about a person that you could know right away they are not worth getting to know?


Incompatibility doesn't imply any judgement of the other person's worth.

Jul 10th 2014 new
(quote) Jeffrey-1077864 said: If you're not interested in someone or their profile, let them know. Leaving them hanging or ignoring their messages/emotigrams only increases the odds that they'll continue to send you more messages/emotigrams. It only takes two seconds to tell someone "Not interested". What's so hard about that?
One might argue that: "Not to respond is to respond."
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