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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

Jul 17th 2014 new
PrayingI'm sorry Kimberlie , that day has passed, but the ride is still up and down. Sometimes it gets worse the more time goes by, than one day it is okay and it goes on from there. So just do whatever you see fit to forgive yourself for feeling something that others say it's time to overcome, just do yourself the favor of forgiving yourself and go at your own time frame. It'll be okay. Praying hug theheart
Jul 17th 2014 new
Charles,
According to my studies and experience with grief, the second year of the death is even more difficult to deal with than the first year.
May the Lord grant you His peace.
Jul 18th 2014 new
Hey, do Y'all mind if I sneak in here every once in a while? I'm not widowed in the literal sense and I did sometimes wonder if his death would have been easier on me than his defection... But I have come to see that my own set of trials was no worse than yours -- and was probably less wrenching.
Prayers and hugs for all of you dear souls who've lost your other half.
Now I'll slink off back to the divorced forum 'cuz Y'all are making me cry... not in a bad way, but tears nonetheless.

Jul 18th 2014 new
Kimberlie - I understand what you are saying but I have to add that it is not limited to a spouse. I know people who were very close to a parent and suffer the same pain before the anniversary of their death and others, including me, who react to the date of a child's death with the same dread, depression and sadness. The anticipation is almost worse than the day as you realize how you will suffer and the extent of your loss. I can tell you that it gets a little easier with the passage of time and at some point you have more happy memories flooding through you than sad ones. By now the day has passed and I hope you have a year of peace and many beautiful memories to cherish.
Jul 18th 2014 new
Kimberly, I am a grief counselor and I am also a widow from a very traumatic death. What I can tell you is that no matter waht state of mind I am in, when that day comes in April and 24 Dec (the day he was due home), I have a pity party. I fight it. I try to do random acts of kindness and I try to celebrate life because I know that is what he would have wanted and I know that I honor his life in doing so. I find my footing in a very short time after those days, BUT there are still days that I feel it.

I was listening to a song on the radio tonight--Amnesia. While the song is about a break up, I equate it to the wish that I once held about forgetting so that it wouldn't hurt so much. The problem with that thought is the good goes with the bad. Perhaps you can write your feelings, go on a mini retreat, surround yourself with loved ones if that helps, etc.

I stand with you.
Jul 18th 2014 new
I am sorry that I misspelled your name, Kimberlie.
Jul 19th 2014 new
Holding you in prayer, Kim..... I too am an adoptive mom.... My girls are 18 and 16 now and I am so greatful to my husband for being open to building our family in that way. What a wonderful gift they have been. I don't know what I would have done without them....

I hope it gets easier for you to remember the fun times as well as the pain.
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