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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Jul 14th new
I have to say one thing, why do folks only put head shots

Agreed, Gary, a variety of photos are best. A head shot for the profile, and mix up the rest. Don't overdo it, and I'd say 8-10 at most are good.
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Jul 14th new
(quote) Genie-920495 said: very nice profile pic thang ...........
Genie, thank you! It takes a lot of effort to make me look good without Photoshop! :)
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Jul 15th new
(quote) Tom-991847 said: I have to say one thing, why do folks only put head shots

Agreed, Gary, a variety of photos are best. A head shot for the profile, and mix up the rest. Don't overdo it, and I'd say 8-10 at most are good.
Thanks Tom....I like the ones that say, "Have recent photos or I will not respond." Then you look at their photos and they are a couple years old... lol haha Go figure eh!!!
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Jul 15th new
(quote) Gary-916309 said:

Thanks Michele and I agree with ya... I have to say one thing, why do folks only put head shots??? I know some guys that do not want tiny women and other guys do. Some guys like bigger women because they are bigger and other men like women that are smaller than them. Then there are some that like the opposite and there are some that could care less what the women looks like they are just happy to be out with one, haha... I will admit that I do not look at a profile if I only have a face shot. I have my own preference and it is not an absolute one but I want to see the whole person. Perhaps there are others that feel the same as I do, if so and you only have a face photo, you might be underselling yourself. Let us see ya and let us make the decision if one is attracted to ya... Michele, when I am saying you, I do not mean you, I am writing this to everyone. I just got thinking that perhaps you are one of those women and I have not yet looked at your profile so I am saying to myself I better point this haha...

Well, I hope this helps some.... A profile has photos to see ya, writings about ya, let everyone see the whole you.... Beauty and attraction is truly, is truly in the eye of the beholder..... Everyone is beautiful you really are, but not everyone is attracted to ya or you them....

Just in case you think I am focusing on the external I am not. For me, I want a woman who knows love, His name is Jesus. Without a daily personal relationship with Him, you cannot love me or anyone because He is love, oh....... some give to get but when things don't go their way you find out that they are not so loving, but with Christ, with knowing LOVE, Him, Jesus, you know what true love is and it is sacrifice and giving.... This is so important... do not give your heart to anyone unless they know Love Himself, Jesus.... do not or you will be very, very disappointed.... again, I am writing to everyone when I use the word "you."

God bless,

Gary

So, Gary, do you really pass up women based on whether or not they include full body pics as part of their photo album? Pardon me, but that seems a little harsh. It is very likely that you are missing out on some lovely, attractive, fit and devout Catholic women, all due to that particular preference or proclivity.

Just sayin'...
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Jul 15th new
(quote) Joan-1085686 said: So, Gary, do you really pass up women based on whether or not they include full body pics as part of their photo album? Pardon me, but that seems a little harsh. It is very likely that you are missing out on some lovely, attractive, fit and devout Catholic women, all due to that particular preference or proclivity.

Just sayin'...
A full-length photo is very important, or at least head-to-waist. Why? Women seem to have the tendency to be less-than-honest about weight.

As someone said ... if you can't believe them when you learn their weight, in reality, is not as described ... what else might there be that they said that wasn't honest?


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Jul 15th new
Let's be honest here! Most of us look at the profile pictures first, then read the profile if we liked the pictures. It would seem reasonable that pictures should be recent just in case you might actually meet the person one day. I find it a little harsh to say that most women lie about their weight. If you were to read men's profiles you would find that most men describe themselves as athletic and it is obvious from the pictures that they are not. I'm just saying that honesty is important here!
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Jul 15th new
(quote) Joan-1085686 said: So, Gary, do you really pass up women based on whether or not they include full body pics as part of their photo album? Pardon me, but that seems a little harsh. It is very likely that you are missing out on some lovely, attractive, fit and devout Catholic women, all due to that particular preference or proclivity.

Just sayin'...

HI Joan,

hmmmm harsh eh!!! I think it is very honest of me. I try to avoid hurting another's feelings. Attraction is truly in the eye of the beholder, I am totally convinced of that. Who you are attracted to, another may be turned off to and vice versa. I have had enough situations where the woman was not revealing herself and I spent a lot of time to only be put in an awkward situation when the woman was eventually revealed. This also goes with not just the physical. Some withhold information about themselves that also can be a deal breaker. Joan, are there men you could never see yourself intimate with? I think if you would say, yes. Ok, then how would you feel having them not reveal themselves in their profile and you spend a lot of time over the phone and then that day comes when you do see them and you say, "Oh my there is NO way...." Relationships deal with not just personality. We all are wired to be attracted to someone and that attraction is different. I would NEVER say the characteristics or make up of a person you are attracted to are wrong or harsh for attraction is a very subjective and individual thing. If a good women sees that I am very open in my own profile that I desire photos that reveal the whole person, then I see no big deal of them not putting photos of themselves out there.

It basically comes down to this, being open and sharing who you are and that is what I look for. I am interested in the whole person, their faith life, how they think, are they open to discussions or closed minded, and am I attracted to them physically.

You say "all due to that particular preference or proclivity." Joan, proclivity is a natural inclination. Why should I go against my natural inclination that yes is a preference? It sounds very odd to go against what we prefer. There are many wonderful people out there, awesome personalities, but I am not attracted to them and intimacy is part of a relationship. It appears you are pushing your make up on me. That is a no no... What is good for you is not good for others. I believe the harshness is on you dearest sister with all due respect. I could be missing out on a lovely and attractive woman... why would that woman not reveal herself??? She could be limiting herself and so hopefully this conversation we are having will prompt her to put some more photos up. Then there is the opposite to this as well, the woman the has to reveal her body by exploiting herself as only a sexual object, that is a warning sign for me too... If she reveals her chest and it looks like a plumber's rear end as he bends over, I see a woman that has bought into the exploitation of the women's body as a means to gain.... But if you see a woman that dresses modestly, and I am NOT talking a burlap bag dress lol haha, you can get a idea of her natural beauty and her dignity of veiling herself to unveil only to her husband.... Leah Darrow from Catholic.com has some good talks on this... The problem with discussing this issue is that I feel I have to defend my natural inclination of what my eyes feel attractive. So, for those that wonder, I do not get turned on by women exploiting their bodies in fact I am turned off because I want a Holy woman, for a woman that has the inner love of Christ will embrace that in all she is and that is very, very attractive to me.... Women, I challenge you on that, if you want to be attractive then truly embrace true womanhood as God so designed and NOT as the world is trying to make you into. The world is masculinizing you, making you more like men.... Catholic Answers has some good programs on this, the Feminine Genius is one such talk...

So Joan, I hope my going on and on and on gives you a better view of my position. A great book for relationships is "Men, Women and the Mystery of Love." by Ed Sri. Once you find a person you are attracted to, how one nurtures the relationship is important, friendship, friendship and friendship is key.... By keeping it that way we do not get blinded by the emotional subjectivity of taking it too fast... This is easier said then done but I think Sri's book helps one understand what Pope John Paul II wrote about in his book, Love and Responsibility....

Ok, I think I wrote more than enough, but feel free to challenge my thoughts or perhaps I made them more clearer than before... I do appreciate your challenge though, perhaps I can learn a thing or two from you...

I am very honest and open, too open and if my writing ever seems to be too harsh, call me on it but give me the benefit of doubt, thanks...

God bless,

Gary

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Jul 15th new
(quote) Lisa-1046602 said: Let's be honest here! Most of us look at the profile pictures first, then read the profile if we liked the pictures. It would seem reasonable that pictures should be recent just in case you might actually meet the person one day. I find it a little harsh to say that most women lie about their weight. If you were to read men's profiles you would find that most men describe themselves as athletic and it is obvious from the pictures that they are not. I'm just saying that honesty is important here!
People have to like what they're looking at. True, even men can be less than honest about weight, but I do feel women have a problem truthfully describing their weight. When I F2F a woman and learn she was honest about describing her weight, that's a huge plus. I even had a short relationship w/ an ex-CM woman who stressed to me, before F2F, that she was overweight - honesty IS very important.

She's married now but we still email some - the next man she dated after me turned out to be her husband.
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Jul 15th new
(quote) Bob-59786 said: A full-length photo is very important, or at least head-to-waist. Why? Women seem to have the tendency to be less-than-honest about weight.

As someone said ... if you can't believe them when you learn their weight, in reality, is not as described ... what else might there be that they said that wasn't honest?


Yes it is true that both men and women will exaggerate about their weight. I have not thought that the omission of a full body pic was a deal breaker. Perhaps I am naive? It seems like meeting face to face is the best way to size someone up, so to speak.

And some of us do not own smartphones, so it takes a few more steps to upload photos...just sayin'...

:)


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Jul 15th new
(quote) Joan-1085686 said: It seems like meeting face to face is the best way to size someone up, so to speak.



However, CM potentials will start developing before you see someone to learn if they were truthful about their weight.

IRL definitely best. Just yesterday, a young woman started a conversation w/ me in the Apt Complex Leasing Office sharing Keurig coffee and furnished peppermints. Then she told me she sees me running in a nearby Park. I had no idea she existed.

Same w/ last Sunday after Mass. A 49-yo woman and I discussed how Singles meet, and no weight problems w/ her - looks like she takes care of herself.
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