(quote) Gary-916309 said:
What made you say ouch and then say it was a little over the top? I am open to knowing what I said that made you react this way. I do not see it that way, I had to be very explicit as to my reasons. I responded because of what you had to say. You now say, "I was merely surprised there is so much emphasis on full body pics and my question was sincere." No one was questioning your sincerity Joan. As far as so much emphasis goes well.... I think my explanation at leasts gives my few of it but your comment of ouch seems like you do not care to know what I really think... As far as the arbitrary rules goes, no one is judging you so why the defensiveness on your part I don't understand for we on the forums share our thoughts and reasons for what we think. In a way this reveals more about us than our profile.
Your sadness that we "jump" to conclusion that a person must be overweight or unattractive......... Now, look what you said just in that. You are saying we are careless or rash or impulsive are you not??? Perhaps your newness to the dating site as you just stated is the problem. Perhaps we who have our views are not jumping to conclusions. I stated at length that I bypass women that have a limited profile. Through experience on this site and others that women who did not provide photos other than headshots were overweight or not slender to average as I so am attracted to. This caused a waste of time spending getting to know the persons personality and forming a bond and expectation and then an awkward meeting that would NOT have taken place if I simply skipped over their profile... What is so wrong with this attitude? You say people have legitimate reasons for not revealing themselves well then I would love to see a lists of those reasons.... I would like to see how those reasons of limiting their profile helps others really see them for who they are. If a person did not write an introduction, if they did not list they had 10 children, if they did not list their 1 out of 7 or 5 out of 7 would you still give them attention? What if they did not reveal a photo at all, perhaps we should just not have photos eh??? This site and other sites through their experience tells us that the more photos the better our chances... So are we all screwed up or is it you that are saying we are not being compassionate? You are the one that is attacking the harshness on us folks that simple share our views on this site and say we avoid profiles that are not explicit and that is just one part the photos.. What judgment am I making??? How am I not being compassionate? I simply avoid blind dates is what I am saying, I was very explicit and you say ouch... I got a compliment from one gentleman on this site on my long and detailed explanation all to get you to say ouch and over the top. Then I get your judgment and compassion statement... who is judging with that when it is perfectly understandable and reasonable that if your resume to say is not telling, there may be some things about the person that I certainly do not want to be surprised at. If a person can put a face photo up then I have to wonder why they do not put more photos up that give insight to the total person... I avoid women for many other things in their profile... is that preference or judgment? We are NOT judging them we simply avoid profiles that are not telling and I have experience in awkward meetings. I drove 15 hours to see a woman to be shocked, her photos were 10 years earlier and she did not look at all like the photos.. So even some will do that... We have photos on here so we can see the person....
As for you getting defensive about your profile, I do not think we have put you on a defense... I am happy to hear you will share more of yourself and no one is saying you are hiding anything... As for the "right" photos... see how you inject words that are provoking that makes at least me give a long explanation of my reasons that you poo poo as hurtful with the ouch and then your sly comment over the top. No, I do not allow others to make me look wrong for simply bypassing profiles that are not revealing of the person.. in this particular discussion we are discussing those that only put face shot photos up... Very odd why they would not want to reveal the whole person... Ya know what, I will go out on a limb and say boldly, they are hiding something... my experience and other experience from other discussions on this has taught us to form that view... Is that view right for every person that only puts headshots? There may be 1% that do not fit that view for I know one woman that her body was so attractive that she did not put photos up because of the male dogs that only wanted her for her body... but that is not a large percentage is my guess... If you noticed I did not appreciate your judgment of us being rash and not compassionate... no we are wise and experienced thank you.... There is nothing uncompassionate about skipping a profile because of our objective sound reasoning... What I do find wrong is you judging us and defining us when I know I gave some reasonable reasons for skipping their profiles.. Again, I am interested in knowing what I wrote that was hurtful by you saying ouch and what was over the top? Was it that you did not like my reasons or that I had to go at length so to clear up what I felt your words inflicted us to be shallow and now judgmental and not compassionate.....
If you thought that was over the top, this one truly is worse... ;-) Think, you may be provoking the long comments and I know I had to defend myself and I am sure others would agree with me that we are not judgmental and we are very compassionate.. In fact, by bypassing their profile that is compassionate... for they will not have to go through being rejected after forming a friendship over the phone... You do not think it bothered me to get to know a woman for 2 months and then meeting and I truly was not attracted to the person... that hurt me to know she was hurt by me not being attracted and then I try my best to have a good time with the person and like them but she wanted more and I could not go there... to see her disappointed bothered me big time, she is a person with a heart and the meeting would never had taken place if she did reveal the photos... Some may say, why did you not ask for them before hand.. Oh.... lets look at that too... So I get talking to a woman and then I ask her for more revealing photos... Now if I like, all good, but if I do not find myself attracted then she again will know I am not attracted to her.... It is just simple to put photos up and if a person does not, you are taking a gamble and my experience has formed my compassionate decision to skip over their profile.. I stated earlier that beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder... Some guys like small petite and others like big and full and some are in the middle... No one is wrong for who they are attracted to and thus profiles are to reveal the person... If you do not fill out your profile in many areas, folks may see that as lazy and one sided... but perhaps they are not, they are just not comfortable sharing info.... well, you going to gamble with that? What if you infest a lot of your time with some gentleman and you meet him and then go let him down nicely.... how sweet is that... just how compassionate is that.. oh and those women that only wear sunglasses, same goes with them too, I bypass them for I want to see them. It is ok to have a couple photos with sunglasses but not every single one... I hope you get it this time and see your response was offensive and so I had to respond at length... I am being more compassionate by bypassing them.... besides, it is only fair if I share my photos, why should they not.. again, give me a list of legitimate reasons why they only provide face photos...
God bless you sister,
Whew! I'm tired just reading this so I can imagine how sore your fingers must be from typing this response as well as other "lengthy" ones you've posted.
Take a breath dear, come up for air, focus on the date potentials, get your money's worth from CM and most of all get busy asking out those CM ladies with full body shots.