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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Aug 20th 2014 new
(quote) Sergio-566645 said: It would merely arouse her curiosity to know who it was. And once she saw him, she would care nothing for him unless he was her type.
I agree with you Sergio. In my younger years, I had several secret admirers who sent gifts, notes and called me at work. I was curious and agreed for them to come to my job and reveal themselves to me. Each time, I knew who they were, they were not my type and i turned them down. The flowers and gifts did nothing to help me to like them. I was dissapointed each time and the men felt like fools and were angry at me because they felt strung along (because of my natural curiosity in wanting to meet them). One of them came by my job in a cheap suit years later and bragged to me what a good job he had with this "look what you passed up" attitude. I couldn't believe he was still thinking about it years later.

Because of my personal experiences, I think the secret admirer thing is creepy. Anthony, just try to attract the girl by being yourself and asking her out if it feels right. I think handing her flowers in person out of the blue will make a bigger more positive impact than sending them secretly. If you do the secret admirer thing and she doesn't like you, you will feel like a bigger fool.
Aug 20th 2014 new
(quote) Anthony-851099 said: I think the place of work would generally be better, especially if that is where the two first met. Btw, that's what I meant by "not a stranger". Perhaps a straight forward approach would be best, so she doesn't assume they are from someone else, right?
Correct. The last thing you want is her thinking they're from someone else that she might have a crush on. I agree with Amber, Include a note letting her know you sent them. That's sweet and romantic.
Aug 20th 2014 new
(quote) Anthony-851099 said: This is directed primarily to the ladies. How would you feel if someone (not a stranger) anonymously sent flowers or a note to you? Would you consider it to be mysteriously romantic or disturbingly off-putting?
My first thought was that I would absolutely love that. . .ahh the days of secret admirers lol. It would be delightful.

Then I thought about all the silly crime shows I watch and thought, some might think it is spooky, especially if it had hints like sorry about the rose bush in your backyard, or looks like your porch light is out. . .

So, I say go for it, but be very careful about your wording :-).
Aug 20th 2014 new
(quote) Anthony-851099 said: I think the place of work would generally be better, especially if that is where the two first met. Btw, that's what I meant by "not a stranger". Perhaps a straight forward approach would be best, so she doesn't assume they are from someone else, right?
Yes, please send them to her job. She might feel stalked if you send them to her home.

True story. A male church friend of mine liked a lady church friend of mine. He was a writer and poet, and wrote her a poem, and signed it, indicating his interest. Instead of mailing it to her or leaving it at her job, he waited for someone to let him into her building and he slipped it under her door. She had issues with anxiety and she freaked out,when she read it, mostly because she got scared he was able to get into her locked building. She called the police on him and it became a BIG mess. I felt so sorry for both of them. I actually think they would have been a good match, if only he would have sent the poem to a public place like her job.
Aug 20th 2014 new
For me :mysteriously romantic lovestruck!
Aug 20th 2014 new
I agree until your relationship is more grounded I wouldn't do anything out of the norm. Once the two of you are reciprocating each other's feelings, I would wait to then to think of different ways to be romantic. Good luck
Aug 20th 2014 new
Two thoughts: when people are young, naive and unencumbered, this can be sweet. If she's over 35, especially if she has kids, the unintended consequence might be that she feels unsafe.

Don't forget this idea later in the relationship. Everybody likes to feel prized and appreciated. Once you are dating or married, it's great to remind her that you would choose her all over again. (And, by that time, she will recognize your handwriting!).


Aug 20th 2014 new
In the words of PG Wodehouse (the character Jeeves)
"I couldn't advise it, sir. Too many imponderables."

Have the courage to include a note and sign it. Much more straight forward.
Aug 20th 2014 new
(quote) Anthony-851099 said: This is directed primarily to the ladies. How would you feel if someone (not a stranger) anonymously sent flowers or a note to you? Would you consider it to be mysteriously romantic or disturbingly off-putting?
I would probably think it was one of my stalkers.
Aug 20th 2014 new
(quote) Carolina-1069841 said: I would probably think it was one of my stalkers.
You've got more than one?
I feel gypped.
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