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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Aug 20th 2014 new
(quote) Virginia-182942 said: You've got more than one?
I feel gypped.
You can have them biggrin I don't mind sharing
Aug 20th 2014 new
(quote) Anthony-851099 said: This is directed primarily to the ladies. How would you feel if someone (not a stranger) anonymously sent flowers or a note to you? Would you consider it to be mysteriously romantic or disturbingly off-putting?
Keep in mind that the consensus opinion is of no relevance at all: the only opinion that matters is that of the woman in question.

Josephine made a very good point: that the identity of the secret admirer may have a significant impact on the admiree's opinion. Consider that the longer the secret goes on, the longer the person has to develop a mental image of the admirer. If the revelation differs significantly from the expectation there may be a very obvious negative reaction, even when they might have been willing to consider the same person if approached openly.

Assuming you are asking because you are considering doing this yourself, my question would be: how well would you handle rejection, particularly if it is reflexive?

Aug 20th 2014 new
(quote) Josephine-586127 said: I agree with you Sergio. In my younger years, I had several secret admirers who sent gifts, notes and called me at work. I was curious and agreed for them to come to my job and reveal themselves to me. Each time, I knew who they were, they were not my type and i turned them down. The flowers and gifts did nothing to help me to like them. I was dissapointed each time and the men felt like fools and were angry at me because they felt strung along (because of my natural curiosity in wanting to meet them). One of them came by my job in a cheap suit years later and bragged to me what a good job he had with this "look what you passed up" attitude. I couldn't believe he was still thinking about it years later.

Because of my personal experiences, I think the secret admirer thing is creepy. Anthony, just try to attract the girl by being yourself and asking her out if it feels right. I think handing her flowers in person out of the blue will make a bigger more positive impact than sending them secretly. If you do the secret admirer thing and she doesn't like you, you will feel like a bigger fool.
I like your advice Josephine, clear, very honest, and to the point. I know what I'm saying because I have three sisters and I know them well. They tend to be pretty strict about the "type" of guy they want to meet and giving them flowers and chocolates won't change a thing about their personal taste for men. You either feel attracted to someone or you don't, it's that simple. Of course there's always the exception to the rule, but bouquets of roses or an assortment of new colorful suits won't normally make a women faint for a guy.
Aug 20th 2014 new
(quote) Carolina-1069841 said: You can have them I don't mind sharing
Lovely profile picture Carolina! thumbsup

I hope that doesn't make me sound like a stalker... laughing

Aug 20th 2014 new
A few years ago I found this note on my windshield upon returning to my car after shopping:

"You just walked in front of me with that pretty smile -- If you're unattached, give me a call. ###-####."

I thought it it was kind of cool and was impressed that everything was spelled and punctuated correctly.

I was a little uncomfortable actually responding because it happened less than a year after my husband passed away. I think I called the number but then chickened out when I got an answering machine. I have to give the guy props for a nicely written mash note, though.
Aug 20th 2014 new
I'd love it, at first. But then I'd like for the person to make himself known to me, because otherwise I'd go crazy trying to figure out who it was... I'd want them to tell me later on that day for sure.
Aug 20th 2014 new
I would welcome the kind gesture.
Aug 20th 2014 new

Are we talking about a real note, or real flowers, "in real life"?

Or about a CM emoticom from someone with whom we've previously had no contact?

Aug 20th 2014 new
It's "in real life", Marge. smile
Aug 20th 2014 new
You have all given me so much to ponder, and I'm glad I posed the question! The lady of my admiration is a teacher, so I will give her a little time to get back into the swing of things. Then I shall send something to her...signed or unsigned is yet to be determined! scratchchin

God bless!
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