Okay, not really, but I bet the title got your attention!
When it comes to using an online dating website few things are more
contentious than photos. As one who owns and works with an online
singles service, I see many of the issues that arise when it comes to
posting or emailing a photo. A lot of generalizations can be made about
how people use and view photos of others when it comes to meeting a
potential date, and I will seek to address them here.
It’s What is on the Inside that Counts
The number one comment I hear from members about photos is “Why
should it matter? It’s what is on the inside that is important.” While
this statement is true, it is often used by people as an excuse for
something they are self-conscious about. Sure, what’s inside matters
most, but it’s not the only factor. While it is true that over the long
haul, the importance of physical features in a relationship will
decline, there is no discounting it is a factor in the beginning of
one. God created us as spiritual, intellectual and physical beings–which means all parts can and should be considered when discerning a potential spouse.
To merely speak about what is on the inside is an oversimplification
of the issue–not unlike how some may superficially focus on the
exterior of an individual, to the exclusion of all other factors. All
single people should be striving for balance. There should be
attraction at the physical, intellectual and spiritual levels. They may
not always occur the same way for everyone, but they are the basis for
what makes us the people we are. The photos you use on a singles
service should accurately reflect your physical makeup.
Presenting a Complete Image of Yourself
To effectively take advantage of what a singles website has to
offer, choosing the correct photos is important. Cropping your head out
of a group of friends, or cutting out your ex-significant other, is not
the way to go. You need to present yourself as accurately as possible
in your photos– as if the person viewing them was just introduced to
you by a friend. This means at least some of your photos should
represent all the physical features that make you up as a
person–including your face, height, body type, etc. Photos which show
you doing activities also help present your physical side, and reflect
part of your personality. Given these considerations, what photos
should you choose?
- It is nice to have one or two head shots that you think represent
you best. There is nothing wrong with putting your best foot forward,
as though you were on a first date.
- Show a couple photos of you with your family and friends.
Photos with the people who are most important in your life reflect
something about who you are.
- Do something. I shake my head sometimes when I see a person
upload all head shots, or all perfectly posed photos. Does that really
represent you? Upload some photos of you “doing something” acting
silly, serious or competitive. If you don’t have any photos like this,
make a point to get some the next time you undertake an activity you
enjoy. And don’t be afraid to upload a few photos of you “lounging
around”. Don’t worry if it’s not the best photo you ever took–none of
us look our very best every single day.
Upload Clear Photos You Can Actually See
Nothing is more frustrating than looking through photos in a
profile, only to be unable to see them because they are too small or
blurry. With digital cameras, high-resolution scanners, and
state-of-the-art photo software this should simply never happen.
1. Upload clear photos.
2. Upload photos where you are not off in the distance, unless you mean to show something other than you in the photo.
3. Upload large sizes and let the website worry about cropping.
4. If scanning, make sure to scan at a higher resolution.
5. Ask a friend or family member for help, if you are not sure what you are doing.
1. Don’t upload tiny images or crop them to thumbnail size.
2. Don’t upload blurry images (try clearing it up in a photo editing software).
3. Don’t scan images and leave large amounts of white space. If this
happens, you don’t know how to use your scanner. Ask for some help.
4. Don’t scan multiple photos onto one image.
5. Don’t upload a photo that is of years gone by (unless you note
the age in the caption), hair you once had or a waist line you wish you
still had. People respect honesty.
By following some of these simple tips, you can make your profile
much more attractive, and better represent yourself as a whole person.
Then, when you begin to have conversations with your Catholic Match
date, the inside can really shine. Meeting someone face-to-face for the
first time is usually a nervous experience, but properly representing
your physical appearance through photos, and your personality through
email, chats and phone calls, you lessen the likelihood of any
unnecessary surprises during your real world meeting.
be somebody you really are not. Eventually it will catch up with you.
Besides, you should be proud of who God made you to be, and you should
be considering a person who is right for you.