After being a CM member for almost three years, I (Mary) decided to participate in the forums because there was a thread in St. Peter's Square that I felt I could actually relate to. The thread had to do with having little or no success here on CM, even after "putting myself out there" by emoting and emailing. When I posted in the forum, I wrote something like, "I've been snubbed four times today alone… I feel like no one browses my profile because I live in North Dakota." Even though I posted this, through prayer I realized that it’s all in God’s hands whether or not there would be someone out there for me. And as it turned out, Alan felt the same way.
This October 23, 2006 post changed my life. First, I had gotten several "feel better, chin up" emotes from men and women alike, but one particular emote was different. It was from Alan, all the way in Pittsburgh, PA. The note attached read, "to brighten your day." I emoted him back, thanking him for the kind thoughts, just as I had thanked the other people for their prayers and thoughts.
The next day, he emailed me. The first line read, "People do take notice when you use the forums." I was thinking, "Ok, this guy is trying to help me out. Great!" Naturally, I emailed him back, thanking him, etc., just to be nice. Over the next few days we had exchanged several emails per day, then gradually we progressed to online chatting.
Alan gave me his phone number and invited me to call him some time. Our first phone call occurred on November 4, 2006. It lasted five hours! We had so much to say, ask, share… it was amazing! I didn't want to hang up, but my niece was having her birthday party that afternoon, and I was already late.
Since that day, we've spoken every day for at least an hour per day (thanks to Verizon Wireless). We had our first F2F on January 21, 2007. Alan was kind enough to offer to take a train here to North Dakota all the way from Pennsylvania so my parents would feel more comfortable with our unique situation. We had an amazing visit that included our first Mass together, thirty minutes after he got off the train. There were lots of tears when he had to leave, but then we started looking forward to June 2007 when I would visit his family in Pittsburgh for two weeks. Alan showed this North Dakota girl all around town. We had lots of fun doing a variety of things, such as going to a Pirates game, kayaking, and Kennywood.
When Alan visited in August 2007, with much prayer and discernment, we decided that marriage was our chosen vocation. It wasn’t until October 2007, when Alan flew to Bismarck with his family to surprise me with the engagement ring. Alan appeared out of nowhere as I came out of the adoration chapel. It was his best surprise to date! He plotted with my family and friends–everyone was in on the secret but me! He did a fantastic job organizing the proposal and engagement dinner.
In keeping with his promise during our first phone call, that he would move closer to me if things worked out, Alan moved to North Dakota in the beginning of March 2008. Now that we are 1200 miles closer, we are able to continue our marriage prep classes. Thank you for your continuous prayers as we prepare for our August 9th, 2008 wedding.
We would just like to thank God for giving us the guidance and patience throughout our adult lives to find each other. If we could give one piece of advice about finding your special someone, it would have to be, "Don't be afraid to put yourself out there and get noticed."
God bless you!
This article can be reprinted by including the following credit:
This article is reprinted with written permission of 4marks Magazine
and is part of the 4marks.com network which offers a variety of online
services to Catholics, including our online Daily Catechism program,
Catholic Trivia, Temperament Test and single Catholic service. To learn
more about any of our services or how 4marks is helping Catholics
connect online in order to deepen their faith offline visit