How To ‘Interview’ Your Potential Date


How To 'Interview' Your Potential Date

I have discovered The Interview on Catholic Match.

How many of you Catholic Match members already knew about this? Is it some great secret that’s been kept from me? Or is this news to all of you, too?

Just a few days ago, I was thinking about how handy it would be for single people to have a set of questions they could submit to potential dates. You know, to find out if they’re on the same page, and learn about each others’ interests, and weed out weirdos. Mostly to weed out weirdos.

I was even going to write a humorous email to my girlfriends, suggesting that we put together a series of questions for just such an imaginary interview. And just then, I received an emotigram from a CM member asking that I post an interview to my profile.

An interview? There is such a thing?

Indeed there is. A Catholic Match member can create an interview of up to 20 questions that other members can answer and submit. Any questions. No pre-determined list to choose from. The sky (and the good taste of the Catholic Match administration, who could yank your membership for offensive creativity) is the limit.

Take that, eHarmony.

Seriously, I love this idea. I wish I’d had access to something like this years ago. So do most of my friends. It would really help to personalize the search, to ask the questions that we think are important. No two single people’s searches are exactly the same. One man’s weirdo is another man’s dream girl. I spoke to one CM member who thought he might be perceived as a weirdo because he attends daily Mass. Some might consider that weird. Others (myself included) think it’s great.

So, given that there is now a real live vehicle for CM members to personalize their searches, I did sent a note out to my friends. I asked them to share with me some of the questions they could have asked in the past to avoid various unpleasant situations.
Here are a few of their suggested questions:

What does it mean to “work it out”?

a) talk through an idea or problem and come to a resolution,

b) the detox you do in hot yoga after a night of whiskey and cigars, or

c) when you call credit counselor to readjust your loan?

If I had just met you, and I were to tell you that I’m flying across the country the next day, would you

a) tell me to have a nice trip, or

b) follow me on the next flight and book a room in the same hotel?

Do you believe that God speaks to you

a) not at all,

b) sometimes, in the depths of your heart, during prayer, or

c) daily, mostly about what other people should do?

During Mass do you

a) look towards the altar, or

b) constantly swivel you your head 180 degrees to check out every member of the opposite sex, everywhere, all the time?

What would be a good way to start a first date?

a) Pick your date up to take her to dinner,

b) meet your date at a cool local coffee shop, or

c) ask her to meet you at your place so that you can model the footie pajamas that your last girlfriend made for you?

Describe your relationship with your mother:

a) she’s a good woman who raised me well, so I love her and respect her and look out for her,

b) we’re very close and share all of our deepest thoughts and feelings, or

c) wait a minute while I ask her.

If you’re inviting me up to your apartment to meet your dog, do you actually have a dog?

If my brother points out that you have a big green dot on your forehead, do you

a) thank him and wipe it off, or

b) launch into a long, elaborate pantomime of a space alien?

If you invite me and “the gang” up to your cabin for the weekend, how many invitations to “the gang” are you actually extending?

a) “They’re all coming! It’ll be great!”

b) “Hmmm. I invited them all. Weird how you’re the only one who could make it,” or

c) “Uhhhhh . . .”

Note that these are their questions. Yours would be different. And the answers you’re looking for might be different as well. Who knows, maybe you’re actually looking for a pantomiming stalker type with a pretend dog who takes instructions directly from God.

Note also that these are women’s questions. Not being men, my contributing panelists and I are not quite so in tune with the pitfalls on that side of the dating equation. Some may be similar, others may not.

So I want to see your questions. What would you ask if you could ask anything? Keep it in good taste, of course, and be nice. No passive-aggressive jabs at others you know (or suspect) will read your comments. No using this as an opportunity to vent your hostility toward the opposite sex in general. (Although I suspect I will be hearing plenty from the “genuinely surprised that no one else showed up at the cabin” and the “think it’s cool to impress a date with footie pajamas” crowds.) Just share some questions you think you might put on your own interview.

And then do it. Set up an interview. See what kind of response you get.

It might be kinda fun.




  1. Andrea-127585 March 14, 2009 Reply

    cool idea. I like the approach. Some of the answers a bit leading and judgmental. Especially like the questions that get at an important issue with a bit of humor and levity.

  2. Regina-373756 March 17, 2009 Reply

    One interview clearly told me the man was interested in the body model, not the content of one's mind. Mine sorts out the wheat from the chaf, especially concerning some issues I've encountered. It also tells the test subject something about me, beyond the profile. It is full of humor, and to a degree is self deprocating. There ought to be a degree of entertainment, and he ought not feel like he is taking the Minnesota test. I am looking for a like mind. Few take the test. All that do, pass with flying colors.

  3. Michelle-346850 March 28, 2009 Reply

    It seems like a fun idea, but I think it should be done after talking/knowing the person for sometime. I was asked to answer a set of interview questions before and I thought the questions were too personal. I wouldn't want to reveal too personal details about myself right in the beginning. But then that kind of defeats the purpose of being able to separate the wheat from the chaff. I guess I won't be using that tool.

  4. Jennifer-538428 June 20, 2010 Reply

    I love the interview! And it's also a nice way to "introduce" yourself to someone that's in between and e-mail and an emotigram.

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