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Single Living

To me, dating is one of the scariest words in the dictionary. I am somewhat of an introvert, so the thought of sitting down for dinner with someone I hardly know feels uncomfortable, awkward, and less than appealing. Rather than putting myself through that, I decided to take a different approach to finding love…television!

Before going on “The Bachelor,” I was just your typical 20-something girl.  I was focused on my career, hanging out with friends and living the single life.  I dreaded the thought of going on a first date, so for me, it was just easier to fly solo. I had two serious, long-term boyfriends through high school and college, so I knew I enjoyed being in a relationship, but I didn’t enjoy the process of finding the right partner.

Well…fast forward a few years, when a unique opportunity fell in to my lap.

I went to a “Bachelor” casting call with a friend, purely as a side kick for support. I had never watched nor did I have any intentions of going on a silly dating show…or so I thought. With a little pressure from my friend and a Cosmopolitan later, I was trying out for a “chance at love.” I believe the only reason I was chosen for the show was because I went in to the casting call with absolutely no expectations. Because of that, it was easy for me to relax and just be myself. If only I could do that on an ordinary first date, right?

When I decided to take on this opportunity, I certainly was not thinking I would find the man of my dreams; it was more about the adventure. Of course, I was open to the idea of dating this handsome, caring, genuine, absolutely perfect guy, but never in a million years did I think I would find my husband on a TV show!

After the first night of filming, I asked myself, “Molly…what have you gotten yourself in to?”

If I thought first dates were uncomfortable, what about a first date with seven other girls, five cameras and 15 million viewers? Talk about awkward!

As I got to know Jason better off camera, I realized the on-camera stuff was just a necessary step to get to the end result. It’s like when you have a great conversation with someone over the phone, yet you feel uncomfortable and nervous when you physically get together for a date. That’s all part of the dating process, right?

Though I was doing the dating thing in a very public manner, the most reassuring part was knowing that Jason was going through it with me. I wasn’t doing it alone, and I certainly wasn’t the only one who felt it was a little weird. Jason was by my side the whole time, and made the uncomfortable stuff feel comfortable. He made this TV dating experience seem fun, natural, and normal.

From then on, I stepped out of my safe place and never looked back. I wanted to give this relationship a real chance, so if the awkward dates were part of that, I was going for it. After a minor change in heart, Jason and I were finally able to date in the “real world” and become a couple. Not long after, we forgot about how we met and just focused on how happy we were together. Jason and I got married six months ago, and the rest is history!

Never wanting to go on a first date and step out of my comfort zone got me nowhere in the name of love.  When I finally did, I found my soul mate. I knew he was the one because he made our unconventional path feel normal and, most importantly, comfortable.

Whether you’re seeking love on TV, the Internet, or simply being set up by a friend, I say be open minded. Love will flourish – no matter how it begins – when you least expect it.

(This post has been read 1,789 times)

33 Comments

  1. Anonymous September 3, 2010

    Be open minded, sure…but don’t leave behind your faith to do so. Earthly happiness will only take you so far, putting CHRIST at the center of one’s marriage is imperative, that means bringing God into not only the marriage celebration, but then also keeping, together as husband and wife, a constant and daily focus on Him and His will.

  2. Bobbie-557829 September 3, 2010

    Some good thoughts to think about.It’s hard to get out of ones’ comfort zone.Sometimes it works,
    sometimes it doesn’t.Have to give it a chance.

  3. Lisa-436333 September 4, 2010

    very uplifting! Everyone likes a story with a happy ending!

  4. Margaret-605271 September 4, 2010

    I do not watch this show because it puts both the man in compromised positions, probably to improve ratings. It is very sexualized and makes dating seem as if it is all about sex and beauty. I don’t know if she held fast to the teaching of our religion or played the roles that she was expected to show in order to be on the show. As I was reading her story I was waiting to see, “I held to my beliefs & principles and that is what he respected in me’. Sorry that wasn’t there.

  5. Joann-451185 September 6, 2010

    VERY ENCOURAGING TO US SINGLES!!

  6. Jackie-613484 September 6, 2010

    I know the times I have dated someone who was a little different than the kind of person I would normally date…I have been pleasantly suprised. I think we always have to be open to new and different experiences.

  7. Kathy-534879 September 6, 2010

    I’m sorry, but I’m not sure why Mrs Mesnick is being held up as a model for us. God bless her, but she and Mr Mesnick were not married in a Catholic ceremony, and as she is purportedly Catholic and therefore bound to be married in a Catholic church, then their marriage is invalid in the Church’s eyes and she is a state of mortal sin. If I am incorrect on this, somebody PLEASE inform me as she seems to be a very nice woman and I wish the best for her. Also, I don’t think cavorting on TV in skimpy outfits is the way a truly Catholic woman behaves. Nor is spending the night in a tent with a gentleman whether “anything” happened or not…. As Catholics, not only do we need to avoid scandal but the APPEARANCE of scandal as well. Come on, American Catholics, WAKE UP!!!!

    • Mercedes-47773 September 10, 2010

      Kathy is correct. I don’t watch the show. I’ve seen bits and parts of the very first one and after that I was totally put off. If the show Molly was on is anything like the very first one then I don’t think she or Jason were holding fast to what Jesus expects from us. And if she is Catholic and has in fact been married outside of the Church, then what is that saying about how much she loves Jesus? Perhaps they don’t really know their faith very well. Let’s pray that they will be open to grace leading them to the Truth.

  8. Phil-347749 September 7, 2010

    I admit that I have watched the show and it is often entertaining, but it is definitely not the ideal place to develop a relationship guided by Catholic principles. I don’t think Mrs. Mesnick said anything about her faith in this blog(other than a faith in love). Did her Catholic faith have anything to do with this relaionship? I don’t even know if they are validly married in the church. If not(As at least one commenter claims), this website is really doing a disservice to single Catholics by featuring this story.

  9. Phil-347749 September 7, 2010

    correction: I don’t think that Molly mentioned her Catholic faith in this post.

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  11. Andrea-624655 September 7, 2010

    As singles in the catholic church. We need to hold steadfast to our faith and religion. Mrs. Molly Mesnick went on a TV dating show to find a spouse, along with 24 other women that is neither biblical, ethical or right. So why is she ministering to us single. Good Bless her and her marriage. But as Christians, we need to hold fast to our faith and stop letting the world and things of the world pollute our thoughts. Does she live a Christian life, getting married does not necessarily mean you are living a Christian life. Is she walking daily with the lord, I wonder when last has she been to Mass?. Just because someone was on a TV, and gain a bit of popularity does not that does not give them the right or accreditation they need to Minister to us. We need to hold fast in our faith. Anyone can call themselves a catholic, but the lives we live and how we live it should speak for us.

  12. Christina-107357 September 7, 2010

    I’d love to see a CM “Bachelors and Bachelorettes” show (many men and women who are slowly matched with one another, after many group events and individual dates), even participate if it was developed by a faithful Catholic with real intentions of creating happy, holy 7-out-of-7 couples.

  13. Rachael-387171 September 11, 2010

    Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t believe things like this are supposed to be good news on a Catholic site. The author mentions nothing whatsoever about her faith, which combined with the fact that she is in a canonically invalid marriage, leads one to conclude that her faith must not be very important to her. Is CatholicMatch condoning such things by allowing articles like this on their site?

  14. Pete-548434 September 11, 2010

    I would have to agree with the comments about the lack of Christian, much less Catholic, principles described in this post. My assumption would have to be that CM has created this blog for entertainment purposes and not for the intention of fostering growth in the Sprirt of Christ.
    Peace be with all who seek Him earnestly, and mercy on us all as we walk our own roads to Calvary.

  15. Monty-235200 September 12, 2010

    No I don’t like this story. This show goes contrary to how a healthy relationship should develop.

  16. Frances-52297 September 14, 2010

    Did she have a sacramental marriage? If not, was her marriage convalidated? If a Catholic woman does not have a Catholic marriage or at least get her marriage blessed by the church then there is no happy ending here. Marriage is a sacrament, otherwise it’s just cohabitation.

  17. Dan-444070 September 14, 2010

    I’ve seen the show (ex-gf made me watch it… perhaps a reason why she’s an ex) and can’t believe it has ANY sort of spiritual value for Catholics… it seems to be a combination of one part “The Dating Game”, one part celebrity-wannabes doing anything -ANYTHING!- to get on camera, one part forced drama, and one part “almost”-prostitution. Mix ‘em together and what do you have? Attention seekers spending the night with multiple people and fighting over a man like dogs over a strip of bacon. WHY Catholic Match is highlighting this is beyond me… who knows, maybe the admins here don’t think any of us know the difference between a good Catholic relationship and a drugstore Harlequin romance novel!!!

  18. Rosanna-564071 September 14, 2010

    I have no idea why Catholic Match would decide to post this on their blog. “The Bachelor” is definitely not a show that single Catholics who are striving to be holy should be watching. The show essentially defines dating as a very impure social game; the bachelor and his various “contestants” battling for him seem to objectify each other. “The Bachelor” blatantly degrades true love as it is described in Holy Scripture (ie, in the Song of Songs) and as it is described by Pope John Paul I in his “Theology of the Body.”

    I am glad that Molly and Jason have found joy in the God-made institution of marriage, and I pray only the best for them and their son. I hope they discover the beauty of nuptial love that has the opportunity to truly blossom if they live out their vocation to marriage and family life in a 110% Catholic way.

    That being said, however, nothing in this article stated anything about their marriage being intrinsically (even better– abundantly!) Catholic. Courtship, marriage, and family life are designed by our Creator to reflect our Triune God Himself, and to be a partaking in His Love. This is why I am perplexed as to why a Catholic dating website would decide to post an article which has absolutely no spiritual substance.

    The author is Catholic and met her husband through a non-traditional way (which can be related to meeting someone online in a sense), but that is as far as it gets. Catholic Match needs to post articles about couples who are beautifully striving to genuinely live out their Catholic faith together.

  19. Rosanna-564071 September 14, 2010

    **correction (typo): “Theology of the Body” was by Pope John Paul II, not JP I. I believe every Catholic teenager and young adult — no, every Catholic! — should read these papal addresses.

  20. Candace-587406 September 24, 2010

    I saw the show, and I’m shocked that she is mentioned for Catholic Match. She and Jason spent the night in a tent while out on a date, and they weren’t married.

  21. Mary-25961 September 27, 2010

    I am happy for Jason & Molly having found each other but as far as putting this artilce on this site, I think it is contrary to what the site is representing. I have watched this show on and off through the years. The show makes fun of anyone who has any kind of Chatholic/Christian Morals and if you admit to it, you know you will never be one of the last one’s holding the rose. The show protrays contrary to anyone who is looking for a solid Catholic relationship.

  22. Laurianne-160619 October 3, 2010

    I don’ think Molly and Jason are good role models on a Catholic site (where I found it). First of all, they were having sexual intimacy before marriage.

  23. Erika-513971 October 6, 2010

    It’s a romantic and awesome history! Congrats Molly

  24. Jerry-74383 October 6, 2010

    I agree with those who have expressed concern about Catholic Match featuring this couple and this TV show in the site blog (in at least three articles to date).

    By placing the contestants in situations that suggest that sexual activity is occurring, the television program is a source of scandal and should not be supported, much less promoted, by Catholics.

    Some of the responses have indicated that Mr. Mesnick was divorced prior to this relationship and the the wedding did not occur in a Catholic church. If either of these are true and the information was publicized either as part of the show or during the publicity leading up to the wedding, then this is an even bigger source of scandal as the public impression is that they were not, at least in the eyes of the Church, validly married. Which then makes the entries in this blog, quite simply, deception.

  25. Ann-608016 October 6, 2010

    i agree with what’s come from the integrity

  26. Ann-608016 October 6, 2010

    I agree with what’s come from the integrity of a open heart between both/each other interest or meet in common wanna go ahead move forward to the next with kind heart, compassion and respectful. thats the main thing or the most important in taking care beautiful relationship for long lasting happiness. my points of view for the love of life.

  27. Ron-40989 October 7, 2010

    I agree with many other poster’s who are asking why this blog post is associated with Catholic Match. Presented to us here is a very secular, commercialized version of “dating” that does not appear in any way to be based on Catholic moral teaching. I have never watched this show and I never will because it turns two people courting into some sort of spectacle at best and into condoning sin at worst. It is amazing to me that not once in this article is the importance of the Catholic faith as guiding one’s courtship mentioned. Catholic Match, why are you using this article? I think you owe an explanation to your paying members – at least one of whom (myself) is seriously wondering why he should ever support this site in the future…

  28. Suzanne-17338 October 7, 2010

    I agree that this story is the opposite of what we are looking for on a Catholic website. They did not get married in the Catholic church, plus he did share the “fantasy suite” with her and two other women during the show. Is he not a good example for his young son!

  29. John-29879 October 15, 2010

    So what’s next for CM? Dating tips from sitcoms like “Two and a Half Men” and “How I Met Your Mother”? I haven’t actually watched a full episode of either, including the Bachelor(ette). But, the little I did watch, I had seen enough. The question is not “whether” CM has sold out – that’s a done deal. It’s more like “to whom” and “for how much”? Nice work folks – and, ya I’m being facetious. At the very least, this issue has polarized those trying to llive according to the teachings of the Catholic Church and those open to other forms of Catholicism. God’s Grace abounds and perhaps this issue will strengthen those already firm in the Faith and enlighten those struggling with it. Sometimes it takes controversy and/or a crisis to make this happen – i.e. racism, abortion, etc. – and this topic seems to be following that model. Let us pray that all couples will discern a call to marriage in a holy, dignified and responsible way. And let us also pray that all hearts and minds can be lead to Jesus from wherever we start. The situation for Molly and Jason may yet be made right, good and holy, but only through prayer and a dedication toThe Truth. Heck, it worked for David and Bathsheba and God’s Grace and Mercy is no less present here today. May God bless us, protect us from all evil and bring us to everlasting life.

  30. Eric-398181 October 15, 2010

    Thank goodness people here mostly see it the same way. I can’t believe CM is holding this up as an example. I do wish these two the best, but this is a horrible show.

  31. MaryEllen-534087 October 17, 2010

    Really? Really?????

  32. Catie-400970 October 21, 2010

    I agree with Kathy. I hate to say it but I am not sure this is going to work out for Molly. Her husband Mr. Mesnick is Jewish, hence the reason she didn’t marry in the Catholic church. Although I think she might be on the traditional side; he is not. That is why Molly wasn’t her husband’s first pick on the show. He changed his mind and was nonplused to do so. If he could change his pick for millions of people I am sure he will change his mind about a lot of things and even the soul of Molly and spiritually. Judaism is nothing like Catholicism it is not a self sacrificing religion although she might be sacrificing herself for the sake of marriage he undoubtedly is not.

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