The wedding feast was prepared and all that was left was for Bruce to arrive. Kathy had readied everyone for his arrival…and it wasn’t even their own wedding. That would be in the future. But the romance budding between Kathy and Bruce had moved from the web to the phone and into the real world at the wedding of Kathy’s niece.
“He was more anticipated at the wedding than the bride and groom,” Kathy recalled. His reputation preceded him; the caliber of his e-mails, shared by Kathy with friends and family, had everyone already convinced she’d found a winner.
After their initial contact on CatholicMatch, Kathy was a little reluctant to move to a phone conversation too quickly. “I have a heavy South Texas accent,” she said, admitting she was afraid it wouldn’t sound good to a potential suitor. And she was convinced she could learn a great deal about her interest through e-mail.
She was correct. Bruce showed himself to be a man of wit and sensitivity, easily able to leave Kathy laughing at what he wrote. She recalled sitting one day with a friend while she had her tires rotated. Her companion was extremely skeptical of online dating. Kathy pulled out some printed copies of e-mails and invited her to take a look. After a brief read, the friend looked at Kathy and said, “If you don’t want him, I’ll take him.”
Both Kathy and Bruce were open to online dating from the beginning, though they had focused locally on the chance to meet people they otherwise might not have.
“For people who have kids, the thing you have to understand is, they aren’t going to want to move,” Bruce noted. But he stretched the box just a little. By broadening his 500-mile search, he found Kathy – 535 miles away.
Right away, there was a click in an area both were concerned about: height. Recalling his experience on eHarmony, Bruce said, “They ask you your height, weight, everything else, and then kept lining me up with ladies from 4’10 to 5’2”. The taller Bruce wanted someone more at eye level, which was ironic, because Kathy was always concerned she was too tall. Physical compatibility is often a sensitive area for singles, but this example shows that, like anything else, it’s about each single finding their natural niche.
There were other areas of compatibility as well. A veterinarian by trade, Bruce lives on a Texas ranch with horses. “My sister always used to want a man with a horse,” Kathy said. Then I go and meet a man with 30 horses.” In the realm of day-to-day living, both of them also like to eat leftovers. “I never thought anything of it until some ladies at work told me their husbands wouldn’t eat them,” Bruce said. “And I also wear last year’s clothes,” Kathy added with a chuckle.
Both of them had gone through difficult experiences of being the only one giving in a relationship – or in some cases even willing to take a chance on the relationship itself. Being in an isolated area of Texas, Kathy had a difficult time getting prospective dates to come out for an evening of dancing. Even when she offered to go to Houston or a bigger city, there was no success. But then Bruce was willing to drive nine hours from Oklahoma to dance with her.
Bruce appreciated the same quality in Kathy. “She always gave back,” he said. “It was 50-50.” On his previous marriage and in other situations, he was the only one giving.
“There has to be commitment,” Kathy added. “I was watching EWTN and heard that if it’s been more than a year, it’s time to make a move.” At the time Kathy heard that, she’d been with someone for three years who was unwilling to make a move.
Both Kathy and Bruce had suffered the pain of divorce and both found peace through faith.
“He’s found what he likes. I’ve found what I like. If I could have 50 years with him, that would be great. God is good. His time, not yours.”