Are You Stuck On An Ex? (Some Second Tries Work)


Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver split

With the news last week of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver’s split after 25 years of marriage, the media and general public have been raising a question: Can this marriage be saved?

If an affair wasn’t enough, we now know that Schwarzenegger fathered a child with a staffer in their home. With so much deceit and betrayal, it’s difficult to imagine any relationship withstanding such circumstances, but many couples attempt to defy the odds and get back together after a falling out.

It appears that Schwarzenegger and Shriver will not be reuniting, but many others in less extreme situations hope to get back together with an ex. In fact, according to one online survey, most people still have feelings for an ex: 71 percent of people said they think about their ex too much, and 57 percent said thinking about their ex prevents them from finding new love.

A Psychology Today article outlines some considerations you should make when potentially reuniting with a former boyfriend or girlfriend.

  • Discuss what went wrong the first time to avoid future pitfalls.
  • Ensure you really want to reunite with this individual for the sake of the relationship, not because you miss having a boyfriend or girlfriend.
  • Remember why you broke up in the first place – are you confident this won’t happen again?
  • Is this just another step in an on-again, off-again relationship? If so, avoid the heartache and move on.

Most importantly, both individuals have to be committed  to each other and committed to beginning this relationship with a clean slate. If you bring any hurt and resentment into this second attempt, the relationship will never get off the ground.

CatholicMatchers, have you ever given a relationship another try? What needs to happen in order to make the second go-around successful?



  1. Anna-635092 May 27, 2011 Reply

    Most of us are fearful concerning possible negative effects on children. And this traumatic headline shocker is dfficult to comprehend,by anyone, especially the children. With that in mind we know they’ll be hurting for their Mom, Maria, each time they look into her eyes.
    Thankfully, God heals. Thanks be to God that they’ve been raised in a good Catholic home. Together with the prayers of the world, we petition Our Heavenly Father to annoint all concerned with the Balam of Gillead & grant that infamous family the peace that comes only from the Lord.
    p.s. – I believe in miracles.
    Interestingly, Maria known to be catholic has not yet stated divorce plans. Perhaps you & I might hold her up in our prayers, to be lead by Our Father during this difficult period & obey Him.

  2. Sherrill-anne-13557 May 28, 2011 Reply

    Sad especially since its out in the open.The healing process has to take place.It is possible for couples to reunite after these and other disappointments.I have seen it.It takes a great deal of work on both sides.
    The best thing is to be committed to the relationship and communicate often.
    Prevention is better than cure

  3. Nancy-591885 May 28, 2011 Reply

    I did try to get back with an ex boyfriend and if he showed up now and wanted me back, boy oh boy we would have to have a really long conversation and he would have to take a lie detector test before I would even consider it. Once you are betrayed, that trust is broken and it is very difficult to get it back.Do I think about him, sometimes. It is I hope he is happy and getting on ok in his life. Men who cheat on woman and think nothing of it, really do not understand what they have done to the other person. And that is the kicker. Because to me that means they do not have any morels or ethics nor do they understand love.

  4. Elizabeth-581818 May 30, 2011 Reply

    I have personally never met a “second try” married couple after adultery that “works”. But then again, the reference to “works” may be subjective…does that mean in a loving, peaceful, trusting relationship? A marriage, where both spouses love deeply, trust and consider each others happiness as much as their own. Once someone discovers how incredible self focused, selfish, immoral and hurtful their own spouse is~as in the case of adultery and betrayal~to choose live and remain married as a loving, committed couple is an incredible feat for anyone. I’d imagine people will always have memories of the experiences they share with others, but life’s decisions must be made with the head, as much as the heart. Is it wise or self-protective, to choose to put yourself in a position to be hurt or deceived, after someone has already done so?

  5. Sharon-710589 June 3, 2011 Reply

    I believe any marriage.can be saved regardless of the circumstances if both are.willing and.submissive to Gods will.

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