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Online Dating Tips

Every week, a few complaints will trickle in from members who do not want to be able to view profiles that don’t fit their criteria. They ask us to create a function to block the profiles from their view, which means, in essence, they ask for a walled-off CatholicMatch world.

However, our system doesn’t work that way. We operate in the positive, not the negative: Our site is not blocking those who don’t fit your criteria but rather finding those who do.

It’s certainly reasonable and prudent to apply criteria to your searches on CatholicMatch. But we don’t want to barricade your online dating experience so fully that you can never even view a profile that doesn’t fall within your geographic scope, age range or belief system. (A simple “agree” or “disagree” doesn’t always capture a person’s nuanced thinking.)

You owe it to yourself to view a profile that pops up on your radar. It doesn’t obligate you to marry the guy or girl. It doesn’t obligate you to date them. It doesn’t even obligate you to communication with them.

A view is just a view.

When you let yourself look at profiles outside your criteria, you guard yourself from being too closed off, from stripping the humanity of it. You treat them as people, not profiles. You don’t let online dating turn into online data.

My tip for you this month: Browsing profiles is a lot like a friend introducing you to people at an event. Who knows who you might be introduced to? You might meet that special someone who is blonde instead of brunette, 10 years older instead of six, lives 500 miles from you instead of 15, is a sports nut instead of a bookworm. But if you have enough common values, some common interests and God’s fireworks – otherwise known as chemistry – sizzles, you might very well have met the person perfect for you…who wasn’t your perfect match. In this case CatholicMatch is doing the introducing; all you need to do is be open.

Come on, view some profiles outside your criteria. See what you see. It’s not going to hurt, embarrass or make you any more single. So why not?

I see only good that can come of it. Just like in real life, romantic connections are spurred online in a variety of ways. You never know how one CatholicMatch member could lead you to another. You never know who will have a friend of interest…or a younger sibling…or an older sibling. You never know. (And our success-story archives are replete with tales of singles who looked outside their criteria and, in doing so, found their mate.)

This is the perfect time to encourage profile views and to keep your walls down; there is more opportunity for you to view more profiles with our new homepage. I hope you’ll take advantage of it.

There are plenty of reasons to shield yourself as a single Catholic. Plenty of scenes and singles to avoid. But CatholicMatch is a healthy, encouraging, sensible place where you can drop your shield and enjoy the company of people who, regardless of small differences, are all standing on common ground.

(This post has been read 3,102 times)

6 Comments

  1. Kathleen-311531 June 16, 2011

    Great advice! I try to keep my preferences reasonable and pretty open. Who knows who God has planned for us? As in any site you have to be careful… Catholic Match included. No harm, no foul in viewing profiles and taking risks to meet the right one.
    People really complain that they don’t want the opportunity to view certain profiles that don’t fit their criteria? They don’t have to! I think some people think of this as a mail order website…punch in the criteria and out pops your “perfect” person.

  2. Ana-712402 June 18, 2011

    We should have somebody in charge to organize some activities where CM get together to meet members and share and have fun. Could be a picnic in a park, or go to a restaurant for lunch or dinner, or go to a dancing place, etc.Should be organize by age group. Could be a kind of CM convention where members have the opportunity to meet. Members who are interested should be able to travel.
    This is only an idea…. We need a good leader….

  3. Brian-278516 June 20, 2011

    Check out the events page under community in the top menu. There are also many postings about events in the get-together forum room.

  4. Tina-734074 June 23, 2011

    I have found it amazing though how few men actually understand their Catholic faith and do not agree with all the Church teachings. Why ask what type of person you are looking for if the website refuses to show you profiles within that search criteria? You are either Catholic 100% or you are not. And yes I am shielding myself from singles – men who go on Catholic singles sites who are clearly not Catholic!

  5. Jose-735898 June 29, 2011

    How would you see it when a CM member sends you a message saying that a certain or another member is not interested in you or to answer your messages ?

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