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Single Living

We hope you’ll read about Tim-710325, a Michigan man who loves to brag about his kids.

 

When did you become a single dad and why?

The children and I have been on our own since 2007. Unfortunately, I struggled for years to find harmony within our family and divorce became my solution to the crisis. Divorce was a choice; parenting is an obligation and a privilege rolled into one.

 

Tell me about your kids.

My daughter, Shannon, is 10 and my son, Sean, is 12. Both are involved with community and school activities, both are competitive and both take delight in bugging the other until they scream.

They attend Sacred Heart Academy, our local Catholic school. They take their Catholic education seriously, involving themselves in academic teams and altar serving. Their home life is fairly typical – bikes, scooters, basketball in the driveway, yard work. Shannon is my little artist while Sean is my sports statistics kid.

 

What are you hoping for this Father’s Day?

It’s the gift I receive in abundance every day: I hope for nothing more than my children’s love. So I know I’ll get exactly what I want for Father’s Day. A little calm and quiet would be a bonus.

 

How has your parenting evolved since becoming a single dad?

Since my children were infants I cared for most of their needs, so becoming a single dad didn’t have too much of an impact.

However, I have learned to allow them to make mistakes and fix their own problems. I also worry less about physical harm and more about their individual experiences as kids – how a choice they make could affect them in the long run.

 

What’s the hardest part of fatherhood?

Being misunderstood or judged by others is difficult, especially when taking the high road and not responding to assumptions about my situation.

Other than that, the hardest part has been sustaining a relationship with a woman, finding the right balance between the needs of my children, which come first, and the wants and needs of a girlfriend.

 

What’s the greatest reward?

Watching my children evolve into independent people. Knowing that if I lead by example and teach my children the faith, everything will fall into place. And as a bonus, my little boy says, when he plays in the NFL he’ll give me front-row seats to his games, so I’ve got that going for me!

 

How does being Catholic inform your fathering?

My Catholic identity defines who I am. My faith in Christ is the foundation on which our family rests. Catholicism isn’t our religion, it’s our lifestyle.

I really don’t know how my parenting style is different from a non-Catholic, I just know that Jesus’ teachings and our faith in God affect all of my decisions.

I continue to evolve as a child of God. My parenting is a byproduct of my beliefs not the starting point.

 

What is your prayer for your kids?

Dear Lord, please protect Sean and Shannon from all that is evil and harmful. I pray for their good health and endless love for you, dear God. Protect them from the effects of poor choices and guide them to love and respect one another and their neighbors. Amen.

 

What kind of woman are hoping to introduce to your kids?

The woman I seek will come to love my children unconditionally. She will place the needs of both her children and mine above her own, as would I.

My children would benefit from the influence of a stable, intelligent, nurturing woman with whom I have a healthy, loving relationship. It wouldn’t hurt my feelings if she were beautiful, witty and romantic too!

 

When it comes to being a single dad, what do you know for sure?

Without family support and great friends, our life as we know it would be impossible. What I know for sure is that without the example of Jesus Christ and our Catholic faith, we would struggle with the meaning of happiness, hold anger in our hearts and dwell in turmoil.

I have no idea if I’ll ever meet someone who will accept my situation. I just want a family, something close to normal where I’m the dad and I love, respect and honor the woman the kids turn to as a mom.

 

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