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Divorce & Annulments

Trying to view each moment of your life as a gift when you are going through a divorce or trying to rebuild your life afterward can be hard and can even seem contradictory to the truth of your situation.

It is often difficult to maintain a positive attitude when so much has gone wrong and you are now left to fend for yourself. Feeling this way is  understandable.

As you rebuild your life and look toward new relationships, both friendships and romantic, there is one attribute that can help make you attractive to others in the most sincere way possible: the ability to be truly grateful, that is, the virtue of gratitude.

When you can accept the bad times have been a part of your life and still be grateful for the suffering, knowing you’ve become a better person as a result of it, you have made huge strides in your emotional growth and healing and therefore have much more to offer in a new relationship. There is a richness that is added to your personality because you have suffered and you are a better person for it.

Acknowledging that your suffering has made you a stronger person, or many of the other ways you’ve been fortified by it such as appreciating others more because they were a support to you or seeing how you’ve learned how to do new things you never thought you’d do is an attitude that spills over into everything you do and this is what attracts other people to you. Compassion, patience, relate-ability to others, perseverance, gratitude – all these virtues brings a new dimension to your personality and something more to offer in your next relationship.

Sometimes, it’s even good to remember the fights you had with your ex-spouse — not because you relive them and wallow in bad memories, but because you learn from them. You’ve learned how to be better in this moment and in the future.

Every moment of the day is a gift from God, from the instant you open your eyes, to the time you fall asleep and of course, everything in between and recognizing these gifts when life is difficult makes the burden easier. Let God be a part of all of you are so He can bring good things out of your situation – your suffering the loss of your marriage, your being single now, everything that you are.

Gratitude is key!

 

 

Further reading

For another take on attitude and dating, check out “You’re Single, Get Over It” by CatholicMatch President Brian Barcaro.
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5 Comments

  1. Monica-768688 September 30, 2011

    I highly recommend, the article on Virtue Of Graditude, for those who struggle daily with other virtues

  2. Lucyna-749506 September 30, 2011

    Fortunately I haven’t gone through such paintful situation like divorce but I think that the virtue of gratitude works in each area of our lives. Lack of the gratitude may distroy my ability to see how many things I received from God and other people. Gratitude helps to maintain detachment from my needs& not moaning and focusing only on me. The fact is that I excersise the virtue of gratitude too rarely…

  3. Lisa Duffy
    Lisa Duffy September 30, 2011

    Here’s a brief video I did to accompany this post… just couldn’t get it to link to my article!

    http://vimeo.com/29779036

    Sincerely – Lisa Duffy

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