On the eighth day of Christmas, we bring you Ramona.
What were the greatest blessings of 2011?
Through the mercy of God I can live without my parents. As an only child, single and a woman of a certain age, it has been painful living without my personal fan club: my parents.
God is so merciful. Through the power of prayer asking Him to help me remain open to love, I’ve met such supportive people. I’m blessed.
“Show me who you love, and I’ll tell you who you are,” Proverbs tells us.
My loneliness was a blessing because I was able to discern those that hide their malice behind the mask of virtue. God enabled me to seek the values my parents instilled in me through others. I’m a survivor.
How has your approach to finding a mate evolved?
Single status comes in many forms. Each of us is broken in our own way and should be treated according to our needs – mostly just loved – whether divorced, annulled, widowed or never married, happy or unhappy, first marriage, virgin or non-virgin.
Having the attribute of singleness doesn’t mean one is kindred. My walk and journey towards Christ is as unique as He made me. That is why relationships are work. No two people are alike, even if they have many things in common. I have to keep this in mind when dealing with others: One may take you for granted just because you come from the same social status.
What’s your CatholicMatch strategy?
Honestly? I had to take a much-needed breather to re-evaluate who I am and where I needed to be. I need to lighten up. I want to be a partner, friend, companion and eventually a wife.
I don’t want to be a psychologist. I don’t expect someone to come without baggage, especially if he is as old as I am. But if you are not on the road to healing (or not willing to get on it) any emotional intimacy between us will not happen.
I’m amazed at how in this culture we are afraid to rush into emotional intimacy but have no hesitation with physical. Even within the sanctity of marriage physical intimacy can be ill used. Being a Catholic isn’’ a prerequisite for the knowledge of intimacy. Being open to God’s grace is.
CatholicMatch will only prove useful if I’m more proactive about what I want in a relationship and express that upon viewing a profile. I’m not looking for a friend; I want a husband. I can’t take that laid-back attitude of settling for friendship in the vain hope that more will come – not if you don’t say it! Emotigrams aren’t enough.
Why do you stay on CatholicMatch?
I’ve chosen to stay with Catholic Match after much soul searching. Not an easy decision! I tend to get along much better with men than women. I always have.
Yet I managed to make some sister friends whom I respect and admire. I found the men a bit trying for the first time in my life. Challenging, no. Just trying.
It was foreign to me and a bit painful. It was a whole new form of rejection. When a women is rejected for her age or a physical attribute that is one thing. But for her intelligence and moral values is another matter! I found myself constantly having to explain…until I realized something: I was challenging them.
Love it! So I’m coming back.
What’s your favorite Christmas tradition?
After decorating the tree I shut off the rest of the house’s lights. Just the tree is aglow. And I pray.
I pray for a happy, holy holiday season and in thanksgiving for the year that passed, offering up the hope for an even better year. After Midnight Mass my pets were fed Oplatki-Christmas wafer. I went to a Polish parochial school and this wafer was given to the pets and farm animals in order for them to speak to the Christ child on Christmas Eve. I still get the wafers. I still think my pet can speak
We won’t even touch cooking. My mother was a French Indian, so the food represented the gifts of the Holy Spirit. I wish to see the ghosts of my parents either through children of my own or by bringing these memories, traditions with someone special once again.
What is your hope for 2012?
2012 should be the year of frank and open dialogue about sexuality in Catholic marriages. I was amazed at the number of Catholic men who are both curious and naive about natural family planning. Also I wish to see more men stand up against abortion. They do have a say!
For myself I wish to finish my book about my late mother. The proceeds will go to a cure for COPD and Rheumatoid Arthritis.
Make a prediction for 2012.
The year of marriage. It has been abused. No one gets it because few are taking the time to know who they are. What a mockery it’s been this year!
Also, the middle-class will make a comeback in a more humble way. One doesn’t have to keep up with Jones in order to have the Kingdom of God.
As for me…a kiss would be special.