What is it that God is really asking of you as you go through the pain of separating your life from your ex-spouse’s? Is He asking you to be a doormat, letting anyone and everyone walk all over you and abuse you? No. Defending and protecting yourself and your children is certainly very important. So how do you “turn the other cheek” in your situation? It would be to love in a way that is contrary to the way society loves. Society preaches a “feel good” love; so as long as it feels good, love, and when it doesn’t feel good anymore, stop. This definition is false, for love is most vividly displayed when things are difficult and painful, yet a person still remains charitable; still seeks the good of the other, and still does not allow angry sentiments to dictate his words and actions. It is easy to look at someone who has hurt us and say, “That person doesn’t deserve my love.” But contemplate Christ on the cross… the torture, the whipping, the insults, the spitting, the pain! That couldn’t have felt good, yet Christ endured His torture and pain out of sheer love for us, even though we do not deserve it.
It is easy to love and care for those whom you like; those who make you happy or whom you feel comfortable with. It is certainly harder to want to do anything for someone you are at odds with. But if you truly want to find healing and peace in your life and move forward to a better place, step outside your comfort zone and stretch your heart a little wider. Ask God for the grace to forgive others, to find love where there is none. Ask God for the grace to love.
You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. – Matthew 5: 38-39