Divorce is a severe and heavy cross that many men, women and children bear these days. It is so difficult, that I believe it is one of the primary reasons people leave the Church and lose their faith. But it’s important to remember that Christ has promised us He will never give us more than we can handle; that He will ease our burdens. It is true, our trials and challenges in life are meant to purify us and make us holy. But, I know you’re probably thinking, “ If divorce is so painful that words cannot really describe how I feel, and there are times when I’d just rather lay down and sleep for the rest of the year than face another day of hurting… if society is telling me that I should just find someone new and get over it already… if the Church says I can’t have sex outside of marriage and I can’t remarry without a decree of nullity… if no one really understands the pain I’m in and I can’t find consolation anywhere… then how the heck is my divorce supposed to make me holy?!?!”
Well, simply stated, holiness is spending your entire lifetime serving and doing good for others. And in it’s simplicity, that seems fairly easy to do. But when there are so many reasons to be angry and resentful, it makes the idea of holiness look impossible. But holiness really depends primarily upon two things: self-dominion and willpower. Self-dominion is the act of knowing yourself as completely as possible and overcoming the obstacles that stand in the way of your doing good. To know yourself as completely as possible, you must constantly review yourself and take note of your behaviors, your temperament, and how the circumstances in your life have affected and changed you. To attain willpower you must form your will in such a way that you can accept the tragedy of your divorce, trusting that God has designed a different future for you than what you expected, and responding to it with love. Love for God and a love that will pave the way for forgiveness of the ones who have hurt you.
But now, O LORD, You are our Father, We are the clay, and You our potter; And all of us are the work of Your hand. – Isaiah 64:8