Terry had run the gamut of online dating sites prior to coming to CatholicMatch. From Eharmony to Match to others, she’d put herself out there. But each successive site brought her to a realization—“I was going to have to make the effort,” she said. The matches Eharmony sent her weren’t compatible, and she realized there was no substitute for bearing down and reviewing profiles on her own.
Around the same time Terry was realizing what she needed to do to make online dating work, she talked to a friend of hers in the church choir who’d recently met a man through CatholicMatch. Then, for the first time, Terry noticed the CatholicMatch ad in the church bulletin and decided it was worth a try.
The 50-year-old from the Syracuse area made an online connection with Todd, 53-years-old and from Buffalo. In the early days of November 2010 they exchanged emotigrams and made attempts to chat online, although they never quite connected there. Eventually they just sent messages, exchanged phone numbers and starting getting to know each other.
Prior to the first date, Terry already had a strong sense she’d met someone special. One instance in particular stood out. She’d gone out with a friend to listen to live music, while he was with his daughter and her boyfriend at a movie. Around 10:30 PM, he texted her.
“What are you smiling at?”, Terry’s friend asked, upon seeing a warm grin cross her face. Terry handed the cell phone over. It was a straightforward text, just letting her know he was going to call it a night, would talk to her tomorrow and wished her pleasant dreams. It was the kind of simple courtesy that told her Todd was a good guy and her friend shared the instincts.
“I saved the text for the longest time,” Terry told CatholicMatch. “I almost died when I had to switch phones.”
Todd & Terry’s first date was in Rochester, about midway between their respective hometowns and they shared a fun day at a Christmas crafts show, which included a talk on how locals of different generations have celebrated Christmas, and included dinner and a movie.
Their relationship grew from there, and Terry loved the kindness that came across in Todd’s everyday living, both in the way he treats her and the way he treats others. “He opens the door for me and he’ll put my coat on for me,” she said. Terry recalled one instance in a restaurant where Todd went put her coat and a man nearby, obviously impressed, said “I didn’t think people did that anymore.” His courtesy goes beyond simple, but important gestures, and into his daily life. “I lucked out”, a grateful Terry said. “He’s pleasant, he’s nice to people…just a genuinely decent guy.”
After over a year of seeing their relationship blossom, it was time to move to the next step. Todd prepared himself to move to the Syracuse area to be closer to Terry—while the 2 ½ hour driving distance between their hometowns might not seem like much to other CatholicMatch couples, making the drive in upstate New York in the winter months is no easy task.
Before moving though, Todd brought up an important point. “Are we gonna get married,” he asked his girlfriend?”
“Are you gonna ask?”, she countered.
They went ring shopping, and Todd picked out a ring. The stage was set for a camping trip they took just last month. Both love camping and Todd had just upgraded to a 33-foot trailer. After an evening of dinner and a show, he delivered a simple proposal back at the trailer and she said yes.
In the days leading up to the proposal, Todd had asked Terry if she preferred the proposal be in private or in front of people. She was fine either way, but the course he chose seems appropriate. She came to love Todd for his kindness and love in simple things and a marriage proposal in the quiet of their own trailer fits right in.