One of the greatest crosses to bear during divorce is loneliness. Although intangible, loneliness is just as difficult as bearing the burden of a disease. It affects every aspect of your life and carries with it a pain that is difficult to convey to others.
When a human heart suffers the pain of loneliness, it will – at some point – demand attention. And then, what do you do? First, you need to recognize and acknowledge this normal human reaction to the loss of your marriage relationship. It is not wrong to feel lonely, nor is it silly or a sign of weakness. It just is part of the process. But your next step is critical. What will you do with this powerful emotion? Here are some simple ways to deal with loneliness:
- Don’t fight it. Accept it for what it is. Don’t try to put a lid on it, but don’t wallow in it, either.
- Don’t use a band-aid to make the feelings go away. In this case, a band-aid can be excessive eating, drinking, shopping or working; it can be a sexual relationship or pornography; it can be any type of behavior that is not good for us but that we believe will bring relief. “Band-aids” normally only cause more hurt and pain.
- Use your loneliness to your advantage: This is the perfect source of reflection on yourself, the choices you’ve made, how you would like to improve as a human being, and in your relationship with God.
- Stay connected with God. Pray and ask for God’s grace in your life to carry you through this difficult time and still be able to see the blessings He has bestowed upon you.
Turn to me and be gracious to me, For I am lonely and afflicted. – Psalm 25:16