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Single Living

“So are you seeing anyone?”

My face burns red hot and I feel the sweat running down my back. I can’t even escape this question at the dentist office.

“No.” I laugh nervously. “Do you know anyone?”

Then I wait for the I-feel-bad-for-you look to end so I can gracefully change the subject or run out of there as fast as I can.

I cringe every time the dating question comes up. What is the big deal? Why do I let it bother me so much?

Well, because I’m a worrier.

Even though I’m 20 minutes early, I worry I won’t catch my train. Even though my nephew plays Irish football all the time, I worry that he will break his wrist. Even though I am only in my early 30s, I’m afraid that I will be single forever!

Maybe this sounds dramatic, but I do worry. Why haven’t I met someone? Did I miss God’s plan for me?

I carry all this worry into the adoration chapel and kneel in front of the blessed sacrament shouting my questions and demanding answers. But I hear nothing.

I then decide to flip to the readings for the next day. The Gospel was from Matthew (6:24-34):

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, … Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? … But seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.”

And then I knew I was exactly where I needed to be: At our Lord’s feet, receiving his sweet consolation.

I was so focused on the day-to-day stresses that I forgot to put God first. His gentle reminder brought me a rush of peace. He was smiling down on me saying, “Don’t worry. I know where we are going. Just follow me.”

I don’t know what bumps are on the road ahead. I don’t know if I will be single tomorrow or for many tomorrows, but next time I hear the question, “Are you seeing anyone?” I’ll know to say “I’m leaving it in God’s hands and not worrying about tomorrow.”

How about you? How do you answer the dating question?

(This post has been read 1,499 times)

22 Comments

  1. Anna-671172 August 3, 2012

    I always give that exact same answer. :) .

    God bless

  2. Joan-684265 August 3, 2012

    How about something to this effect: I work always to be mindful of what the will of God may be, and so for that reason I ALWAYS have my eyes open. Do you ((the person querying you)) have anyone in mind to whom I might should be introduced ????

    ((I think you should always keep your eyes open whether you are “seeing someone” or not.))

  3. Carlos-876737 August 3, 2012

    I liked this article. It consoled me somehow. I had somehow forgotten about that passage. Now that I’m older(more mature I hope), I’ve discovered a new meaning in it. Thank you Robyn for this article. God bless!

  4. Allison-872383 August 4, 2012

    You think like I do, and reading this may have just helped me figure something out and answer in a way you do when I am asked that question. Thank you for writing this.

  5. Krystyn-883319 August 4, 2012

    Fantastic answer & such an encouraging post! Thanks for sharing…especially the reminder that putting God first always puts us in the right place at the right time!

    God bless :)

  6. Rosa-870260 August 6, 2012

    I usually tell someone that it’s in God’s timing, and that the right Catholic male haven’t surfaced for me here on earth. In Heaven,love will be perfect and pure and I won’t be single in Heaven for sure!

  7. Mike-646924 August 6, 2012

    Yeah when somebody ask’s me are you seeing anyone? Your right its right up there; like gettin a “root canel” lol lol anyway; yeah it makes my hair on my back stand up (like a cat) i just answer and say no not at the moment; How about you? You seeing anyone; i steer the question right back at them; and if they keep asking me i just say taking it one day @ a time; i’am fine don’t worry about me i’am fine! Thank you ver much! thats my two cents worth Mike “peace”!!

  8. Steven-559541 August 7, 2012

    I was actually going through something very similar, and I did happen upon that passage as well! It makes you slow down and realize God has a plan and patience is a virtue.

    • NatesshaArne-885906 August 15, 2012

      Definitely God has a plan Steven! and big part of faith is trusting God when we don’t understand, don’t seem to make sense but one day it will make sense…but God truly has our best interest at heart.

  9. Laura-756568 August 7, 2012

    I was worrying the same thing just this morning and talked about it with my other friend. And thanks so much for sharing the verse. But really, it’s the waiting period that’s the most difficult part of having FAITH. -__-

  10. Stephen-725391 August 7, 2012

    How does this advice from St. Augustine square with Matt 6:24-34 quoted above?

    “Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.”
    Saint Augustine

    • Karen-696833 August 9, 2012

      Great quote Stephen! I was talking about this very thing with my mom today. :)

  11. Heidi-344460 August 8, 2012

    Your post resonated with me as well, Robyn! Like you, I’m in my early 30′s and find myself single and getting many inquiries about that. I do say that I’m particular and that it is very tough out there. God does indeed have a plan for all of our lives and I pray for His divine will to be done in mine. I do struggle with worry and uncertainty, but I must have my faith trump those!

  12. AdeaFlorina-884461 August 9, 2012

    I love this article. I always say my life is in God’s hand and all what happen in my life is on his plan so I don’t need to worry. Though sometimes I’m asking myself when but I believe God has his own plan for my life and He will give me the best in His time.

  13. Katie-866844 August 10, 2012

    That’s a better response than I’ve been doing lately- rolling my eyes and walk away, seriously. It’s not very nice, I know…

  14. Claudia-635473 August 14, 2012

    actually, I’m not worrying about tomorrow because i knew God set by it’s own time.
    Although i feel lonely but not alone..

  15. Jasmin-847173 August 19, 2012

    I heard someone say “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans”.

  16. Marita-847688 October 7, 2012

    I’m definitely a worrier. New worries on the top of my list are: What if I never get married? What if God gives me someone who is not Catholic? What if he gives me someone 15+ years my senior? What if he gives me someone I am not attracted to? Attraction isn’t everything, and a relationship should NOT be built around that, but I believe that God made us attracted to the opposite gender for a reason. What if he gives me someone I don’t even love? What if he gives me someone I don’t even LIKE? What if he gives me someone who doesn’t even love or like me? A part of me wants to say that we are in control of our own destiny and good qualities and some preferences in a spouse should be there, but then we are supposed to pray for us to accept God’s will and his divine plan. Then again I’m sure he wouldn’t want me to not marry someone I don’t want to, either. I’m so confused AND worried. I’m practically in TEARS!

    • Marita-847688 October 7, 2012

      Then again if I don’t marry the person He set me up with it would be like I was saying no to God and His divine plan. I’d be disobeying God.

      • Marita-847688 October 7, 2012

        I am praying about it, though. I don’t want to be angry with Jesus. I want to accept His will. I just hope the man God gives me has good qualities in him and loves me inside and out and I love him inside and out and he is a devout, praying Catholic.

  17. Mari S. January 7, 2013

    This article was what i needed to read today.

  18. Diana-956573 May 25, 2013

    There are few people who asked me:
    Them: Are you into a relationship or dating?
    Me: No. .
    There’s a follow up question after that.
    Them: How come a pretty lady like you doesn’t have a boyfriend?
    Me: (My eyes widened and my mind wonder for a seconds and asked myself “Why?” ) I regained myself back to reality. I told them that right now I am happy being single. ( I didn’t tell them that sometimes I am longing to have someone who will held my hand) It is not just the pretty face that matters but what’s within.
    Them: You are beautiful and kind and for sure that person is lucky to have you.
    Me: Thank you! God has a plan for me and and I am patiently waiting for that man. ( talking to myself-hope I meet him soon. Hahaha! My wishful thinking) :)

    That is a very good verse from Matthew. Appreciating the beauty around helped me to be more grateful. My mind was relieved of thinking too much for the future because it made me realized that God is taking care of the things around me even a minute particles, what more can He do for His daughter. Thank you for this article.

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