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Single Living

One thing that is often overlooked—it’s human nature—is a tendency to refrain from voicing our gratitude about being unmarried. Of course, if we’d gone through a nasty divorce or a terrible relationship, it’s difficult to gain perspective in the wake of experience. We tend to focus on what we don’t have, lamenting its absence, rather than focusing on giving thanks for what we do have. And again, I’m talking about a tendency within human nature; not just the unmarried. 

But actually giving thanks on a regular basis, even while going through the perils of dating? It’s a challenge. One could take a look at the bright side for comfort. There’s no harm in that. And since it’s the holiday season, this is the perfect time to continue expressing our gratitude about our unmarried status. Why not “give thanks” even after Thanksgiving

I’m well aware that as Catholics we do this fairly often anyway: saying Grace, prayers to saints, prayers after communion and all through mass. But in our mundane daily life outside of mass and prayer time, and especially in the face of the questions and laments about our marital status, what can we give thanks for?

Well, let’s start right here on this site. Online dating is great for many reasons. The success stories prove it! Unlike meeting random people, where we only have our first impressions to go by, we get the chance to see “inside” people. On CatholicMatch, we have the added advantage of the forums for getting to know someone beyond first impressions. And of course, the commonality of shared faith is a given.

And then there’s the ease of online dating versus “real life” venues. Sometimes there just aren’t enough of those places people can meet someone else. Some of us are sick of bars and loud parties. Singles-only events—depending on the crowd—can be just plain awkward. So the convenience of online dating is that the “legwork” is done from the comfort of home.

Other advantages of the unmarried: we get to be the fun aunts and uncles! We really can give support and relief when needed, but come on—everyone loves being the fun one! We also get to practice our spiritual parturition. For myself, I love being a spiritual mother to many kids as an instructor. 

So there you have it. You can choose to lament your marital status, concentrating on that spouse-to-be that you long for. But isn’t it better to choose to be grateful for all the blessings you do have? As we enter this holiday season, with the added rush and stress and whatnot, let’s remember that in some small way we can make our Thanksgiving last far longer.  

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10 Comments

  1. Tessa-694373 November 27, 2012

    Singles have alot to be thankful for all year long…we are very Blessed!!
    Just like married people we are Blessed…in some cases single people are happier than some married people…

    So be happy and enjoy the gifts that God has given us!!

    • Tom-432657 November 28, 2012

      You’ve got that right Tessa! You can be single and still be happier than someone who’s been married. That’s one reason why we need to be thankful for the things we have and we need to focus on that more.

  2. Ted-921153 November 27, 2012

    Unmarried people can be grateful for the chance to have humility and to show dependence on God. Singles can act as witnesses to the Kingdom of Heaven which is here and now and it reaches its fulfillment in the afterlife.

    It can be extremely difficult being single whether by choice, by circumstance or related to the death of a spouse. Does being married solve the problems of loneliness? Most people, if truthful, would tell you that it does not because only One can truly know us and only in an imperfect way in this land of shadows, to borrow an image from Plato’s Allegory of the Cave.

    But can singles have children and have the fulfillment of their dreams? Or is easier for married folks to have children and the fulfillment of their dreams or at least the ability to pursue dreams? Singles hear of others talking about their spouse or their children on a daily basis and this seems to be all that exists in their universe for them at that instant in time. The single-hearted devotion (or preoccupation) that married people verbalize for their families can be a very desirable thing and can make singles feel less worthy for not having spouses and children.

    The pursuit of circumstances which allows us to have a spouse and children, grandchildren, etc. is a life-giving endeavor if we recognize that all of our encounters in the process of pursuing our dream are important to those we encounter along the way – as all who we encounter in our life adventures are potentially affected by our choices and attitudes.

    Personally I have dated, in long term relationships, women who shared with me problems of their past affecting their consciences and I have been a good listener, offering compassion, understanding and the disposition of a loving man to replace other men in their lives who were selfish or abusive. These experiences, because I handled them as a Christian man, are sources of satisfaction for me because, though I don’t understand the Way of the Cross as it has presented itself to me throughout life, I do believe that the suffering and love I have shown will not have been in vain.

    • Sheralyn-921387 November 30, 2012

      Your comments really helped me, I was deep in self pity for being divorced with a young child & how hard that can be. Thank you for the insight.

  3. Louis-900679 November 27, 2012

    To be Honest …. I am just Happy to be alive.. Its has been a long year you guys, I pray to God that we can find tranquility in our lives. It hard to do sometimes, with all of the Sharks on the Deep end of the Pool.. Having to Start over at 50. I lost my business, my wife of 9 yrs has divorced me, and I have a 3 yr old Son to Raise and Educate. Slim pickins on the Grateful aspects.. SORRY. Although I am Truly GRATEFUL for my LORD and SAVIOR. I’ve been Catholic my entire life, I just wasn’t expecting all of this. OK!! enough BLUBBERING.. God will make me a Better Christian Man.

  4. Girl-263891 November 28, 2012

    I never lament the fact that I am single. Wasn’t Christ single afterall? :-) The only reason I joined this site was to be open to possibilities. Sure, being in a romantic relationship is a great feeling but it’s not what defines happiness. Not everyone is called to marriage and I don’t exactly know if I’m called to one. But I completely trust God knows what’s best for me and His Will be done. I try to life to the fullest one day at a time. I try not to worry about what happens tomorrow because I will not even live to see it. What makes me constantly happy is to be always in the State of Grace, because i know – whatever circumstance I am in – married or not – I will be in that place where there is eternal happiness.

  5. Helen-869828 November 28, 2012

    Freedom to do anything, to be in any place you want to go without any hassle of where, whom you are going to entrust your children while you are away however of course, while being married give you limited freedom it will give you unlimited happiness with your hubby and babies. But then, since I am still single I will just enjoy the moment and opportunities that life offers.

  6. Deborah-916369 November 29, 2012

    Peace in my home once again, and the love of my sons and grandchildren! “We may not have it all together…but ‘together’ we have it all!”

  7. Jesse-563480 November 30, 2012

    I am very disappointed at the responses I have read about individual’s faith. over 95% of the responses state they are not in complete agreement with the church teaching on sex. The bible clearly states that sex out of wedlock is adultrely. Either they do not support contractives teaching, or they seem to think sex out of marriage is permissable. Shame on you ladies. Jesse Hayes

    • Lesley-158563 November 30, 2012

      LOL! Take a look at the men’s profiles while you’re at it!

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