A very wise Catholic marriage and family counselor once lamented that she often hears her clients say things like, “I’ve prayed the rosary every day for three years for my ex-spouse and it hasn’t changed him a bit.” She would always respond, “I guess the wrong person got changed.”
When we want things to change, we must begin with changing ourselves. This is a tough pill to swallow when so much of what you’re going through is out of your control, but if you look at that from a different angle, you will see the wisdom. Other people and what they say, think and do are completely out of your control, but you have complete control over yourself.
The change must begin with you. Let others witness that change and be affected by it. St. Francis of Assisi was a great example of this. He believed that if evil was all around it was himself, and not others, that needed conversion first. He continually converted his own heart that the world might become a better place.
There is no room for self-delusion. Any one of you who thinks he is wise by worldly standards must learn to be a fool in order to be really wise (1 Corinthians 3:18).