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Divorce & Annulments

Valentine’s Day is here, again. As a single Catholic, especially if you’re divorced, this can be a tough day to get through. All the flower deliveries, special surprises, romantic dinners, love notes that others receive can be hard to endure, unless you know the Valentine’s Day secret…finding your self-worth in Christ.

 

I’ve known a lot of divorced people over the years who just don’t know how to get through this day gracefully because they’re guaging they’re own worth on what they don’t have and what others think. I’ve heard some say they take the money they would have spent on their spouses and spend it on themselves instead. Drinking too much also seems to be another popular way to ignore the displays of love others receive. One woman even went so far as to send herself a bouquet of roses to her office with an “anonymous admirer” note to defray the embarrassment of her divorce in front of others.

 

What is the point in doing these things? You want to believe you are desirable, valuable, and worthy of being loved. Of course! This is what we all want. But in the end, the secret to getting through Valentine’s Day is to remember the One who can love you like no other, the One who will never leave you. Jesus is the only faithful Spouse.

 

Christ loves you as if you are the only person in the world. You are worth everything to Him and He demonstrated that when He hung on the cross and gave you everything He had to give. You are the one He wants and He pursues you every moment of the day. He wants to give you the love, peace and happiness you’ve been waiting for.

 

Blessed Mother Teresa told us:

Jesus wants me to tell you again…how much is the love He has for each one of you-beyond all what you can imagine…Not only He loves you, even more–He longs for you. He misses you when you don’t come close. He thirsts for you. He loves you always, even when you don’t feel worthy…  ― Mother Teresa, Come Be My Light: The Private Writings of the Saint of Calcutta

 


What a beautiful thought, that Christ thirsts for you! There is no bouquet of long-stemmed roses in the world that can compare with that. If you are the object of a love so real, so true, and so passionate, you’ve got every reason in the world to be joyful and even more, to be happy for the couples celebrating their love.

 

I understand the feelings and emotions that come with being alone and it might seem difficult to overcome these feelings and be joyful. In this case, I’d like to refer you again to Blessed Mother Teresa, who endured great spiritual and emotional suffering for nearly half a century; she felt no presence of God in her life and she was in incredible pain:

The smile that covered a “multitude of pains” was no hypocritical mask. She was trying to hide her sufferings – even from God! – so as not to make others, especially the poor, suffer because of them. When she promised to do “a little extra praying & smiling” for one of her friends, she was alluding to an acutely painful and costly sacrifice: to pray when prayer was so difficult and to smile when her interior pain was agonizing.  Brian Kolodiejchuk, Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light: The Private Writings of the “Saint of Calcutta”

 

As you go through the day, today, remember Mother Theresa’s “extra praying & smiling” to help you do the same. Contemplate God’s love for you and do a little extra praying and smiling.

But still, everything is for Jesus; so like that everything is beautiful, even though it is difficult. ― Mother Teresa, Come Be My Light: The Private Writings of the Saint of Calcutta

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10 Comments

  1. Anne-702606 February 14, 2013

    It is very encouraging
    God’s love endures forever.

    Happy Valentine’s day to all!

  2. Candace-587406 February 14, 2013

    I am special regardless of my marital status.

  3. Andy-390550 February 14, 2013

    Nice, timely column. Happy Valentine’s to all.

  4. Lori-379338 February 14, 2013

    Amen. I have had lots of coworkers getting flowers today and I can’t say that I was not a little saddened that I did not have a “spouse” or “boyfriend” to share the day. However, Seeing how happy they were made me happy and that made me think. I don’t need flowers or candy to make me happy. Just being around friends and family ..those you care about is enough. :) Yes i want to be married one day if it is the Lord’s will. I know God loves me and this blog summed it up nicely!! Just the thoughts needed today and everyday!

  5. Sue-906387 February 15, 2013

    Wow another beautiful Article. Thanks Lisa and I wish you and all members of CM a very happy, special Valentine`s love day. Let`s remember that Valentine`s day should not be just for romantic love, rather it should be a day for Agape love.

    Happy Agape Day to all CM!!! :)

  6. Leslie-943234 February 15, 2013

    I’ve never been into V-day. I actually had to ask someone the date today and the response was …. It’s Valentines Day! As if I were stupid. Even if you’re in a relationship, it’s best to look to the Holy Spirit.

    “The Holy Spirit is your Comforter. No matter what you’re going through, He’s right there beside you giving strength and encouragement. As a believer, you never walk alone. Though family and friends may forsake you, He never will. When loneliness comes, remember the One who lives within you. He loves you so much, and His love will never falter because it’s not based on how good you are, but upon His nature. You belong to God, your constant Companion, and He will always be there for you.”

  7. Melanie-909576 February 15, 2013

    mmmm, what beautiful words from our Mother Teresa, she has taught me so much about love, “For love to be real- it must cost something – it must hurt….Intense love does not measure it just gives.”

  8. Sherry-152974 February 15, 2013

    Yes, the temptation to be sad is there. But it suddenly dawned on me, if you have a heart, you’re in for Valentine’s Day. The hearts day is precisely that, for all people who know how to use their heart, to love with a Christian love… your spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, friends, parents and all the relations you have and can think of. Thanks for this article =)

  9. Kristin-931433 February 16, 2013

    Although popular culture promotes Valentine’s Day in a romantic way, it is truly the expression and receiving of love to family and friends that makes it so very meaningful. It touched my heart to hear my 12 year old child tell me that I was his Valentine. My 17 year old child gave me a Valentine Day card in Spanish that she made at school, which was so very sweet.

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