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Dating & Relationships

Everyone wants a happy and stable relationship. I’m sure you try very hard to be the best date you can be. As you move into dating on a regular basis and your relationship evolves into exclusive dating as a couple, it’s important to keep your relationship at the highest level of happiness possible.

 

Sometimes, people begin to relax their attitudes as a relationship gets comfortable and instead of making an effort to please the other person, you might not try so hard. That’s when a relationship can be ripe for disagreements and misunderstandings. I’d like to share with you a few suggestions that I call “love accelerators” that can help you steer your way clear of these relationship potholes.

 

1.    Understand Your Date’s Temperament

 

The temperament identifier on someone’s profile is a very unique element of the CatholicMatch dating process, one you won’t find on other sites. It helps you to understand why your date reacts in certain ways to certain things, and since temperaments are God-given and not learned, like personalities, understanding your date on this level is like having a key to unlock a much deeper, richer level of your relationship.

 

For example, my friend, Sherry, told me how upset and rather disillusioned she was by the guy she was dating because he didn’t get as upset as she did over things she thought were important. Her assumption was he just didn’t care. Not only that, but he expected her to bounce back from hurt feelings immediately and this further reinforced her assumption that he could be rather cold. But the truth is he’s a great guy with a caring heart, and just happens to have a Phlegmatic temperament. It takes a lot to get a Phlegmatic upset. It’s not that they don’t care, it’s their natural reaction to serious matters, according to their temperament. Once Sherry understood Phlegmatic temperaments, it made all the difference in the way she communicated with him and she found he actually brought a balance to her Melancholic temperament.

 

Understanding the four temperaments and how they factor into a relationship is a great idea if you haven’t learned about them, already. Art and Larraine Bennett’s book, The Temperament God Gave You, is a great read that will really open your eyes to how to better love your boyfriend or girlfriend.

 

2.    Put The One You Love First. No, really.

 

If you tried this for just one day, you might be surprised at how many opportunities you miss to show the one you love how much you care for them.

 

I tried this, myself, and became quickly aware of all the missed opportunities to show love to my husband because I put myself first. Things like watching the football game with him and trying to be genuinely interested in what’s going on, instead of going into the other room and watching somethink I liked while he watched the game. Or even though I just want to get home and out of the cold weather, stopping at the gas station to fill up his gas tank says, “I love you” the next morning when he gets in his car to go to work. And honestly, it only took a few minutes to do it.

 

If you start thinking in the vein of putting the one you love before yourself, you’ll probably see your relationship improve, greatly. Even relationships that aren’t serious yet.

 

I hope these few suggestions help, and as always, count on my prayers!

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11 Comments

  1. Marilyn-949494 March 4, 2013

    I am being ask how many children I want to have and how soon. That is a question that cannot be answered by a person over 70! So now I am not allowed to have any matches.. If you ask reasonable questions I will complete the MATCH survey, otherwise. I will not use your site and you can refund my money. I just joined on March 1st.

    • Lisa-727959 March 5, 2013

      Hi, Marilyn,

      Thanks for letting us know. You should have received a response by now. Best wishes on your search here at CatholicMatch!

      - Lisa

    • Lois-765906 March 5, 2013

      Marilyn,
      This happened to me too. I tried to complete the match survey and could not get past the question of how many children and how soon. I thought there should be an additional answer option that said something like “not applicable”. I even wrote to CM to get them to say that question needed to be changed and that they should revise the matching system so I could complete the survey. Never got a reply. Am now glad to see that Lisa responded to you. It made me feel like CM (whoever came up with these questions) forgot to include us in their considerations. Please reconsider terminating CM. I have stuck with it (in spite of feeling snubbed by the system) and have met a number of really great people! :)

    • Robert-945546 March 7, 2013

      kids are nice I love my grandaughters but having kids at are age is a little over the top

  2. Aura-938401 March 4, 2013

    Matches they found to sent not very often. I registered myself more than one month before, but they sent me only about four or five match events. And each person completes his interviev with questions as he wants. But his questions are equal for all people, as I understood. Theese questions are quite stabil, there is no easy to apply them to each person who reads them.
    But to answer the site’s owners questions it is possible to answer them in a creative way, I think. You looks very young, but people will understand why You , honoured Lady, answered in those questions in such way.

    • Aura-938401 March 5, 2013

      Here above it was my reply to Marilyn’s comment

  3. Eleanor-944041 March 5, 2013

    I am not yet a member, nor do I want to belong to this site. Delete all my info at once!!

  4. Eleanor-944041 March 5, 2013

    Take my info. off of your stuffy old fashioned site, I did not ans. the questions and I wont be back!!

  5. Rosanna-564071 March 7, 2013

    I love the these tangible tips. It’s important to remind myself about my boyfriend’s temperament… and it is also important to remind myself that I should go that extra distance for him (and put him first). He’s worth it. :-)

    • Esteban-728759 March 17, 2013

      Two pillars that must be understood and respect for an everlastinhg relationship, temperaments mine has to click with my future wife in order to create balance .

      2 Priorities spouse must always be #1 , too bad people shift it to other priorities like family or career and spouse falls into second category and the race for divorce starts so think for a minute.

      Am I ready to give her /him #1 priority?

  6. Meg-938990 March 15, 2013

    It would be nice to find someone who loves god as much as I do.

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