Everyone wants a happy and stable relationship. I’m sure you try very hard to be the best date you can be. As you move into dating on a regular basis and your relationship evolves into exclusive dating as a couple, it’s important to keep your relationship at the highest level of happiness possible.
Sometimes, people begin to relax their attitudes as a relationship gets comfortable and instead of making an effort to please the other person, you might not try so hard. That’s when a relationship can be ripe for disagreements and misunderstandings. I’d like to share with you a few suggestions that I call “love accelerators” that can help you steer your way clear of these relationship potholes.
1. Understand Your Date’s Temperament
The temperament identifier on someone’s profile is a very unique element of the CatholicMatch dating process, one you won’t find on other sites. It helps you to understand why your date reacts in certain ways to certain things, and since temperaments are God-given and not learned, like personalities, understanding your date on this level is like having a key to unlock a much deeper, richer level of your relationship.
For example, my friend, Sherry, told me how upset and rather disillusioned she was by the guy she was dating because he didn’t get as upset as she did over things she thought were important. Her assumption was he just didn’t care. Not only that, but he expected her to bounce back from hurt feelings immediately and this further reinforced her assumption that he could be rather cold. But the truth is he’s a great guy with a caring heart, and just happens to have a Phlegmatic temperament. It takes a lot to get a Phlegmatic upset. It’s not that they don’t care, it’s their natural reaction to serious matters, according to their temperament. Once Sherry understood Phlegmatic temperaments, it made all the difference in the way she communicated with him and she found he actually brought a balance to her Melancholic temperament.
Understanding the four temperaments and how they factor into a relationship is a great idea if you haven’t learned about them, already. Art and Larraine Bennett’s book, The Temperament God Gave You, is a great read that will really open your eyes to how to better love your boyfriend or girlfriend.
2. Put The One You Love First. No, really.
If you tried this for just one day, you might be surprised at how many opportunities you miss to show the one you love how much you care for them.
I tried this, myself, and became quickly aware of all the missed opportunities to show love to my husband because I put myself first. Things like watching the football game with him and trying to be genuinely interested in what’s going on, instead of going into the other room and watching somethink I liked while he watched the game. Or even though I just want to get home and out of the cold weather, stopping at the gas station to fill up his gas tank says, “I love you” the next morning when he gets in his car to go to work. And honestly, it only took a few minutes to do it.
If you start thinking in the vein of putting the one you love before yourself, you’ll probably see your relationship improve, greatly. Even relationships that aren’t serious yet.
I hope these few suggestions help, and as always, count on my prayers!