My wife and I started getting free issues of the popular women’s magazine, Glamour. I usually just toss it in the recycling bin, but a cover line from the latest issue caught my eye.
In one of the featured articles, three men writers were answering various questions from women. While, they all gave pitiful answers, one stood out in particular. A 30-year-old married man stated, “Every day, every guy, from when he wakes up to when he goes to sleep, is thinking, How can I get laid?”
Upon reading this, I blurted out in shock, “Are you kidding me? Seriously?”
Talk about a high school mentality. Talk about a gross over-generalization. I believe it’s more accurate to say that he thinks about this day and night, but that doesn’t mean all men do. His hormones may be raging, but that doesn’t mean the hormones of all men are out of control.
In another question on the same page, one wife asked if her husband was thinking about her during his masturbation. The same guy answered; “Most of the time, no. Sometimes, yes. But, really, no. … You have to masturbate. If I couldn’t, I’d be, like, a crazy person with a machete.”
First, I apologize to all the ladies who have to be subject to this man’s answers, which I find it degrading and ungentlemanly. He has a completely self-centered attitude that doesn’t take into consideration the feelings of his wife or other women. It’s all and only about him. The truth be told: this is a married man who should not be thinking of other women in that way, virtual or otherwise.
I don’t think about how to “get laid” every waking moment — or at all for that matter. I also don’t look at pornography, watch sexually perverted movies, or masturbate, and here’s a kicker; I don’t feel like I’m going to “explode” either.
Why, you may ask?
Partly, because I possess a healthy view of sexuality and understand its purpose, meaning and its relation to true love. Additionally, I have a real relationship with a real woman. Moreover, I have worked hard to overcome the power of sexual urges, so that I am in control of them and not the other way around. In this sex-saturated culture where half-dressed women adorn billboards, TV commercials, magazines and more, I need to fight daily to retain that mastery.
Take a lesson from a spoiled child who gorges himself on everything he desires. When a parent tells him no, what happens? The child throws a temper tantrum until he gets what he wants.
Likewise, the same can be said for the man answering these questions who has become a slave to his own masturbation and sexual desires. Hence, the writer’s machete analogy — because he’s never told himself No! He has never sought to say no to lust and yes to love, and he confuses the two.
He may blame it on his “needs” as a man, but that is a lame excuse, a shallow justification. It is not a need, but a slavery. Water and sleep are needs, not sexual relief. As long as he is not in control of himself or his own passions, he is not free to love or to make love work.
All men (and women too) need to be in control of their sexual passions and desires and not be controlled by them. This takes never-ending hard work and dedication, but with the Lord Jesus who conquered all the powers of hell, it is certainly possible. And, for the sake of women in our lives, present or future, we must rise up like William Wallace and fight endlessly to make self-control and freedom a reality.
Every woman desires to be #1 in a man’s life. She wants to be desired and cherished above all other women. That is how a woman’s heart is made. But, how can she be #1, or feel cherished or validated, when a man is addicted to pornography, masturbates, and has hundreds of other virtual playmates at the drop of a hat.
I am far from perfect, but I fight everyday to remain pure in a sex-saturated world. It’s difficult, but not impossible, and I gladly sacrifice all other women, real and virtual, out of love for my wife who is my #1.