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Marriage & Wedding Planning

Bridezillas. Need I say more? I don’t think so. The name says it all and everyone knows what it means… things are going to get ugly! But I have a simple cure for even the cruelest bridezilla out there. Keep the Word of the Lord written on your heart and you will be the bride everyone loves to watch get married.

I know, I know, that’s crazy talk. But if you apply it, it works wonders. Let’s unpack this idea together, shall we?

The readings at mass yesterday (ECC 1:2; 2:21-23, PS 90:3-4, 5-6, 12-13, 14, 17, COL 3:1-5, 9-11, and LK 12:13-21) present many parallels between their message and preparing for marriage. The primary message the readings conveyed was the need to make sure greed for earthly belongings did not get in the way of our desire to reach heaven. This so easily translates to the popular concept that marriage is a coveted status to be attained, and when you finally get your hands on it, it’s all about you. But, if you apply this scriptural message to preparing for that big day, it brings to light the fact that marriage is not the end-all, the most important thing you can achieve. It reminds us that marriage is a means – a very good and holy means if you live it well – to an end, which is heaven and eternal life with Christ.

In the first reading, Ecclesiastes 1:2 tells us, “Vanity of vanities, says Qoheleth, vanity of vanities! All things are vanity!” In light of marriage, this should remind help all bridezillas out there that their wedding day isn’t a show or a parade. It’s not a day where the world should revolve around the bride, or for slavish bridesmaids to serve them and fawn over them. It is the reception of a sacrament, a celebration of love, and the beginning of a brave new family. At least, that’s what it should be.

“If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts. Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain wisdom of heart.” This responsorial psalm, PS 90:12-13, is a gentle reminder that in preparations for the wedding, as well as on the wedding day, we should treat our friends and loved ones graciously, even if we are under pressure and things are not going exactly as planned. How many times, even in every day life, do we “react” to a person or situation with a hardened heart, instead of acting with love and then regret it later. That regret is our consciences – His voice in our hearts.

In the third chapter of Colossians, Paul reinforces the message from the Psalms: “Think of what is above, not of what is on earth.” This helps us to remember that, although many of us have dreamt of and waited a lifetime for our wedding day, it is a catalyst, not the prize. It moves us toward heaven, it doesn’t land us in heaven.

Finally, the gospel of Luke, chapter 12 teaches us to “take care to guard against all greed, for though one may be rich, one’s life does not consist of possessions.” I think this one best illustrates how a bridezilla can dramatically change the tone of her wedding from the worst day to the best day by choosing to remember that, no matter how many people messed up, no matter who ticked you off, no matter how late a delivery is, and no matter how imperfect the day might seem, none of it is nearly as important as getting each other to heaven. In remembering that one simple but all-important thing, you can have the most memorable wedding no matter what happens, and you will go down in history as the bride who was the shining example of what true love is all about.

Feel free to send me your comments and questions to asklisa@catholicmatch.com.

 

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8 Comments

  1. Robert-3483 August 5, 2013

    Proverbs 21:19 – It is better to dwell in a wilderness, than with a quarrelsome and passionate woman.
    Proverbs 25:24 – It is better to sit in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman, and in a common house.

    “Happiness can only be achieved by looking inward & learning to enjoy whatever life has and this requires transforming greed into gratitude.”
    ― St John Chrysostom, Doctor of the Church (Does anyone know the exact source of the quote?)

    Things may be bad for you, but it can always get worse.

  2. Maria-968666 August 5, 2013

    Brides should be reminded that they should be preparing more for their marriage and not get too fixated on their wedding. No need to be like those “perfect” pictures they see on Pinterest.

  3. Marita-847688 August 5, 2013

    I’ll add to that another form of vanity, which is something I’m guilty of. The single guest or bridesmaid may be thinking, “When is it going to be my turn?” as if we are entitled to it. Yes, many of us will get married, but we are not entitled to it and even if we did get married we do not need to bring that type of entitlement into our future marriages. I have seen similar articles but maybe one about vanity and being the bridesmaid or guest would be a good one.

  4. Michael-339056 August 6, 2013

    I think Proverbs 11:29 works here too: He who Troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind, and the fool shall serve the wise.

    The way the girls act on that show is disgraceful. Marita, an article about vanity and being the bridesmaid, usher, or guest would be a good follow up to this.

  5. Lisa-933589 August 6, 2013

    The last two weddings I have recently attended have been sincerely sacramental–the brides absolutely radiant with God’s love. The focus was more on the sacrament and less on the reception–which in both cases was very elegant and blessed. The receptions were intimate, warm, modest- gatherings- with plenty of joy–but not “themed, over the top, rowdy or drunken”. Instead, God was truly at the center connecting all family and friends–in beautiful, dignified, simple testimony/celebration of union/love. I was honored to attend both & witness such faith, hope and love–truly sacramental.

  6. Marita-847688 August 7, 2013

    Thanks, Michael. I’m not saying I’ve been rude to other guests or the bridal party at weddings, but I know I’ve felt jealous before.

  7. BethAnne-168224 August 7, 2013

    God help me my sister has already told me she is going to be a “bridezilla” the week before her wedding in March…is it April yet?

    I keep telling people when I get married I want to get married at the regular 5pm Sunday evening mass that I attend every week anyway. How cool would it be to get in mass in front of not only my friends and family but also the community I belong to and worship with every Sunday?

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