And then, he got down on his knee right there in the middle of this crowded restaurant, took out the ring and proposed!
It’s wonderful to hear formerly-single people describe their wonderful and unforgettable experiences of getting engaged. The flip side of that coin, however, can be a bit of jealousy. Okay, a lot of jealousy, especially if you’ve been single for a long time. But we all know that jealousy is pointless when trying to attract the opposite sex. Being a happy person not only attracts others to you, but helps you handle the ups and downs of dating with grace. As a matter of fact, in an article titled, 76 Interesting Facts About Dating and Relationships, the website RandomFacts.com reports:
Studies show that happiness is contagious and that potential dates find it hard to walk away from happy people. One of the biggest turn-offs during a date is negativity.
In addition to being a happy person, here are some important tips that will maximize your online dating experience:
1. Be honest about who you are and what you want.
Okay, so you’ve been emailing back and forth with someone you find attractive and has many of the qualities you desire in a future spouse and it’s gone very well. You decide to meet for lunch. You are excited and hopeful, but when you arrive you immediately notice that your date’s online profile image was very out-dated to say the least. How do you feel now?
There are many ways people can mislead you and no doubt you despise the misrepresentation, so here is a great opportunity to review your own profile to make sure you are truthful in your representation of yourself. Make sure you use your profile to set other people’s expectations. Are you truly available to date or do you need an annulment first? Include that information. Has your appearance changed dramatically since you posted your picture? Post a new picture. Do you agree with only 5 out of 7 questions regarding the faith? Make sure you’re honest about that. Your potential dates will appreciate this about you because it lets them know you are trustworthy.
2. Be interactive.
“I thought things were going well, but all of a sudden, he just stopped responding to my emails. He never gave me any explanation and I have no idea why this happened!” Does this sound familiar?
In order to have a great experience with online dating, interaction is key. Don’t suddenly drop the ball in the middle of email conversations or going back and forth about when the right time is to meet. Potential dates really like people who are straightforward with their communication and keep discussions going until it’s either time to meet or time to say goodbye.
3. Be relaxed.
Dating is meant to be fun and it’s great when you can express your desire to have that in your profile so potential dates have another reason to feel comfortable in approaching you. The website, RandomFacts.com reports that nearly 40% of men do not feel confident meeting a woman for the first time, and since many women still prefer the male be the one to ask for a date, this can pose a bit of a problem. Therefore, make yourself as approachable and as friendly as possible. If you write something like, “I don’t like surprises” in your profile description of yourself, how will your date ever dream of surprising you with that totally romantic proposal you will talk about for the rest of your life?
4. Be flexible.
If an email you sent is not returned with the same enthusiasm in which you wrote yours, or if a date turns out to not be what you had hoped, don’t immediately plunge into negativity. Flexibility is important when dealing with people in any manner and I would say especially when dating. If it wasn’t what you wanted, expected, or hoped for, just keep going with a smile on your face and your eyes on your goal. Dealing with disappointments using diplomacy instead of blame or negativity is important and increases your ability to handle people gracefully, which is a very attractive quality to have.
5. Be hopeful.
Keep in mind that God has a great plan for you in mind. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us:
For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Especially when you feel overwhelmed or impatient with being single, remind yourself of this scripture passage and place your trust in God’s perfect timing. If you feel confident your vocation in life is marriage, then forge ahead with joyful anticipation of what He has waiting for you!
As always, you can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I welcome your questions and comments. You can also follow me on Twitter at @lisaduffy.