Authentic Expectations


(Sean) joined the site about two years ago. I had attended a very good
Catholic school so the “real world” was a shock to me. I wanted to find
truly Catholic friends and, God willing, a Catholic wife. The pickings
were slim around where I live, so I figured I would give this a try. I
was still leery about the whole “internet thing” so I didn’t take it
very seriously. Plus like most people on the site I looked at the
success stories and assumed it could never happen to me.

I started just looking for Catholics to converse with and share some
experiences. I am from a large family, so I looked for others in
similar situation. I ran across Mary’s profile while browsing one day.
The first line of her profile mentioned she was one of the oldest of 12
kids (I am the oldest of 11) which caught my attention and so I sent
her an e-mail. It took a little while but she responded. For about a
year we just talked about our families and such; it never got too
personal because it was on the internet and there was the age gap.

never seriously considered it a possibility of working out between us.
Monthly e-mails slowly progressed into Instant Messaging almost daily,
and the occasional phone call. Other Catholic women would come into my
life, but for a variety of reasons they would inevitably fade out of
the picture. You could say I was actively resisting Mary but the more I
pulled back the closer I found myself. I have been in relationships
where the harder you try the worse things become. This was the opposite
– I couldn’t seem to mess it up! I took this as a hint that this just
might be God’s will, so about a year after we started chatting I
decided to resolve the question once and for all and visit.

had a great time, she and her family were everything I thought they
would be and more, but I won’t say there were sparks even then. Through
our visits we became closer and closer and found that despite our
difference in age she was everything I wanted in a spouse and more. I
believe that if you are truly open to God’s will and give the search
over to God, good things will happen. Don’t try to impose your
expectations and desires on your search for your future spouse and you
will find more than you ever hoped and dreamed of finding. The problem
with our desires is not that we ask for too much but that we settle for
far too little. Mary is truly one of the greatest blessings in my life
and I would never have found her on my own!



Post a comment