Abandonment to His Will


When you leave your life's journey in God's hands, you never know
where you might end up, but you can always be sure that wherever He
guides you, it will be for His glory and your eternal happiness.


I've always tried to walk in God's grace, and be loyal to the
church. God has guided my steps, and has shown me where He wanted me at
different stages in my life. For a time I discerned a vocation to the
priesthood, but God never guided my footsteps in that direction. Later,
He guided me to discern a vocation to the religious life with an order
named Miles Jesu (Soldier of Jesus). During that time of serious
discernment, God showed me how to pray and how to better follow Him as a
layman. It was difficult being so unsure as to where God would lead my
life. For several more years, I would continue to grow in faith, and God
would continue to try and keep me in His grace. I continued to pray
that God would lead me to my vocation– "God I want to do Your will.
Show me if You want me to be a priest, or if you want me to be married.

The uncertainty challenged my faith, but through good friends,
God showed me He was hearing my prayers. Shortly thereafter, God
would reveal to me my vocation in life. I signed up on
Catholicmatch.com when I saw an advertisement for it on Myspace. I
really didn't think I would meet anyone–I was more interested in
taking the temperament test. As the first month of my subscription was
nearing an end, I hadn't received any messages, and figured I would let
my subscription expire. One time while I was on 4marks, I was invited
to chat with someone for the first time. Little did I know, this
moment would be the one which God had been guiding me to my whole

Heidi and I first started talking, and before I noticed, hours
had passed by. We made it a point to talk again the next day, and the
following, and the following…. Then, out of nowhere our communication was
cut off, and I thought I was being ignored. I thought, "well, God
whatever You want." I later found out it was technology that got in
the way (explained in Heidi's story). We continued our conversations
after those issues were fixed. Not too long after, I invited Heidi to
come to California and go on a retreat nearby. After a few weeks, she
agreed to come.

We met in person only about four months after our initial
conversation, and Heidi went on retreat while I worked the kitchen
crew. After the retreat we had only two days of actual time together,
but it was more than enough to know that I wanted to spend the rest of
my life with her. It felt as though my entire life had been leading up
to that time she and I spent together. The Tuesday after the retreat it
was time for Heidi to go home. We drove an hour and a half to the
airport, and waited for the time when she would have to check in for
her flight. But when that time came, we couldn't say good-bye. We made
the 1.5 hour drive back to my home, and explained to my parents all the
confusion and the certainty of our feelings for one another. She stayed in
California for another week, but we had decided to spend the rest of our lives
together. Now we are waiting for the time when "the two shall become


Every day of my life, I have wondered what God has in store for
me. Where will I live, what kind of career will I have, and who will I
spend my life with were all questions that I asked God to guide me in
answering. Throughout high school, I was always on the go. Family
(including friends), sports, and band were my top three priorities in
life. I always knew where I was going and who was going to be there,
but I always had the hardest time accepting what God wanted for me in
life. I always could hear him calling me in one direction, but it was
so hard to give up what I wanted and what I thought was right.

The summer after graduating, my father passed away. It was an
extremely difficult time for me because I was always asking "why, why,
why?" When I went off to college, I was still trying to decide what I
wanted to pursue with my studies, and after just losing my father, I
had to grow up faster than most people my age. I did not have a good
freshman year. I wanted so much to be closer to my family because the
reality of them not being there forever had quickly set in. At the end
of my freshman year, I decided to transfer schools and get closer to
home. During that summer, I took a trip to Spain where I learned a
lot about myself in two and a half weeks. I was supposed to be there
for two months, but it quickly became an unsafe situation, and I
returned home.

During that time, I learned that I needed people around me who
cared about me no matter how angry I made them or how much I made them
laugh. I was at the college near my family for one semester when I
realized what God was calling me to do with my life. The down-side was
that this university does not offer the program which I needed to
pursue this. This led me to try and find another place to attend
school. Shortly before moving, I decided to make a subscription to
Catholicmatch.com when my niece saw it, and persuaded me to create a

For the first couple of weeks, it was hit or miss whether or
not I wanted to talk to certain men again. However, one night while I
was taking a break from packing, I saw this very nice-looking man
online. I decided to invite him to chat, and it was like I had known
him my entire life. God was certainly looking out for both of us that
night. After that first night, we talked for multiple hours, almost
every day. Shortly before it was time for me to move, I began
experiencing many different computer problems. I went through three
computers in one week alone. This was difficult because I always found
myself rushing home to see if he was online (thankfully, many times he

We continued chatting online and eventually started talking on
the phone, when Francisco asked me to go out to the retreat. I knew that
I wanted to go immediately. After getting all the arrangements made, I
told him that I had decided to accept his offer. The retreat opened my
eyes to the glory of God and His will for me. I learned to just open up
my heart and my mind to accepting what He wanted me to do, and letting
go of everything that I thought was right for me.

On the night that I was supposed to return home, I felt in my
heart that God was calling me to spend more time in California. During
the drive back to Francisco's home from the airport, we prayed the
Rosary together for the first time. It was when I knew for sure that he
was the man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I had gone
through so many different men that did not care at all about my faith
or their own, so this was an incredibly joyous time for me. I knew he
would be there for me and make me a better person through our faith and
time together.

During that next week, there were many people who could see
how much we meant to each other and how we felt about one another. It
was amazing to see the reactions of the people who did not know
anything about our story, but could see our love for one another. Now
we are planning our wedding for next summer, and although the distance
between us has been extremely difficult to bear, it is only making us
realize more how our love is genuine and true.


This article can be reprinted by including the following credit:

This article is reprinted with written permission of 4marks Magazine
and is part of the 4marks.com network which offers a variety of online
services to Catholics, including our online Daily Catechism program,
Catholic Trivia, Temperament Test and single Catholic service. To learn
more about any of our services or how 4marks is helping Catholics
connect online in order to deepen their faith offline visit


Post a comment