Choosing To Love


Pat: I have a success story. My entire experience on CM is a success. I am a more faithful, faith-filled Catholic participating in Mass and sacramentals. Also, I pray more deliberately now rather than by the rote of my earlier years. I have developed friendships throughout the USA as well as in Great Britain and Australia. In the summer of 2005, a few of us decided to meet each evening in a group chat to pray the Rosary together. Our group evolved into including a novena for special intentions of various group members. Shortly thereafter, we decided to commit to a 54 Rosary Novena.

We also decided to invite other CMers via a general announcement in the fora. Our numbers more than doubled with a very eclectic group geographically ranging from Great Britain traveling west across many time zones including Australia. Still, with all that diversity, only one man responded to the announcement. We began a 54 Rosary Novena the night Katrina blasted the Gulf Coast. Within days, I was deployed as a Red Cross volunteer nurse to a shelter in Baker, LA. While on-call one long night, after praying the Rosary with the group (yes, we had computers—to facilitate FEMA contact with our residents. :eyeroll:), that lone male member of the prayer group invited me to chat.

Dan: My name is Dan (120685) and my Beautiful Bride is Pat 82031. I joined CM in August of '05. This was my second attempt at an on-line site. One year earlier I tried with little success. I will say I was very pleased with CM and the people I have communicated with. I spent a lot of time on CM reading and responding in the forums.

One of the posts I responded to was an invitation to pray the Rosary and a Novena. As it turned out, I was the only blue to respond. Very quickly, I was designated the rooster in the hen house. Praying the Rosary on-line is very moving for me. One night I was up late and started a new post in St. Pete's. Pat responded to my thread and I invited her to chat. Oh yes, Pat was praying in the Rosary group 🙂 We ended up talking over three hours that night.

Almost from that moment I knew Pat was the ONE. We continued to chat and pray 🙂 I wanted to talk on the phone or have a face to face, Pat insisted I set up my computer with a web-cam and mic. I did, and we talked every day for a week. Finally, I convinced Pat to meet. Our first chat was the 1st week of September, 2005; our first face to face was the weekend of October 21, 2005.

Pat: A little history—In August, 2005 I had decided to “let go” of my desire to find a companion. In a private prayer session at Eucharistic Adoration, I committed my heart to the safe-keeping of Jesus. Dan persisted in communicating with me. We emailed, emoted, chatted over several weeks. Dan began to request a F2F. I was very reluctant to take him seriously. I knew that Jesus had my heart, so I was not fretting about the long-term potential with Dan. I insisted upon using a webcam/mic to further determine if a F2F was warranted. The webcam was helpful (I highly recommend it to those embarking upon a LDR).

I still was not convinced that I wanted to meet F2F. I had several reservations about pursuing a relationship with Dan. In truth, Dan just didn’t seem to be the “package” I had ordered. In his profile, Dan clearly stated he has a neurological disorder that has resulted in a permanent disability. I am a nurse so I questioned Dan’s motives towards me as I am more than seven years older than he. I had taken to calling him “Bubba” to my gal pals. It wasn’t exactly a compliment. After about seven weeks, we decided to try the F2F with Dan driving more than 350 miles from the Detroit, MI area to Louisville, KY to visit for a weekend. I was really very calm in anticipation of his arrival. I knew that if he didn’t like me, life would go on and my heart wouldn’t be broken. Well let me tell you, there was NO love at first sight!!!! I opened the front door to find the epitome of “Bubba” standing on my front porch. This great big bear (6’-3.5” and over 280 lbs) dressed in overalls stood there looking so shy holding a precious basket of flowers. I couldn’t help but smile.

Dan: Our first weekend was not spectacular, but definitely enjoyable. Pat was certain we were a bust!? I persisted and came back down to see Pat November 10-12, 2005. Pat was selling the home of her dreams, and closing the day I came down. This weekend I knew for positive that it was Pat or nothing for me. I came back down Friday of Thanksgiving weekend until Monday morning. I drove home for a doctor’s appointment Monday afternoon (I wanted to stay with Pat as long as possible.) On Wednesday I drove back down to spend about a week and a half with Pat and her daughter’s family.

Pat: I was so impressed with Dan’s willingness to drive nearly six hours to be with me, a woman he hardly knew, to help me through my move. This time he showed up with the sweetest card to help ease my pain. His birthday is November 12. I gave him the book, The 7 Levels of Intimacy, by Matthew Kelly. He read it within days. Dan was breaking down my walls, but more importantly, Jesus was allowing Dan into my heart. Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I introduced Dan to my mother and some of my five siblings but tried to keep it all quite cool. When Dan left that Monday and then came right back on Wednesday, I began to think “this is a man I can choose to love.”

Dan: I proposed to Pat on “the day that shall live in infamy,” December 7, 2005.(for you youngsters that is the day Pearl Harbor was bombed.) Pat accepted. She drove up to Michigan a week and a half later to meet my family at our family Christmas :).

I agreed to relocate to Louisville, Ky. This is a beautiful city and I needed to start a new life. Even though all of my family resides in Michigan, it was a no-brainer for me. 

Pat: On March 17, 2007 we had a ceremony that fulfilled our dreams. In front of God, our pastor, numerous family members and friends, we pledged our love and commitment to each other. As our wedding invitation read–"Our lives have been blessed our faith has been strengthened, by our trust in God and by our love for each other. Our message to each of you is that as mere mortals we cannot orchestrate our lives better that God can. The man or woman that you can choose to love may not come in the package you expect or under the circumstances you envision. Trust in God.

PS: Dan doesn’t mind, at all, being called “Bubba,” at least, not if I’m the one callin’.


This article can be reprinted by including the following credit:


This article is reprinted with written permission of 4marks Magazine
and is part of the network which offers a variety of online
services to Catholics, including our online Daily Catechism program,
Catholic Trivia, Temperament Test and single Catholic service. To learn
more about any of our services or how 4marks is helping Catholics
connect online in order to deepen their faith offline visit


Post a comment