Tackling Wedding Season Without A Date


Casually flipping through the mail on a recent August afternoon, I came across a shiny, crisply folded envelope. The color was a muted green, and an ornate monogram graced the seal. I flipped the delicate envelope over and saw my name written in calligraphy with that unforgettable phrase “and guest” inscribed below.

I knew what it was before opening it: another wedding invitation.

It’s no surprise that these invites have overtaken my mailbox. I’m in my 20s, and with a large circle of friends who have recently completed their undergraduate degrees, the natural flow of life dictates that a fair share of nuptials will fill my social calendar over the next few years.

I love weddings and I always have, but I fear that just as this pile of invitations grows, so will my level of frustration.

I thought I would be the one sending the invites at this time in my life, obsessing over color palettes, flower arrangements and cake flavors. Instead, I’m on the receiving end, wondering if I should take another understanding girlfriend as my “plus one” instead of risking a few awkward minutes on the dance floor when the DJ plays a slow song.

I’ve decided to attend my final five weddings of the year alone. My family or college friends will of course be present at these events, but I’m consciously deciding to forgo my opportunity to bring a date.

It takes a great deal of confidence to RSVP just one, but the other day, when I slid the return envelope into the mailbox, I was reminded that a date, a boyfriend, a fiancé or a spouse cannot define me, complete me or fulfill me. There’s only one who knows the desires of my heart, and He promises to meet every single one.

Fast Fact

  • In a recent CatholicMatch poll, 70 percent of respondents said they’d be flying solo to weddings this year. The second most common plan, with 14 percent, was to bring a friend.



  1. Amanda-597268 September 7, 2010 Reply

    I have a wedding to attend in two weeks, and wanting a security blanket because I only know the bride at the wedding, I asked a friend to attend with me- sadly this friend cannot go so I will be on my own, your story makes me feel more confident in going on my own. Who knows what could happen at this wedding, and like you said I already can be confident that He who loves me will never let me fall.

  2. SusanMarie-612261 September 3, 2010 Reply

    This is a encouraging article based on the statistics. But I have this problem every wedding Season always a guest never the host I’m turning 50 what should I say. Nice to know it’s fashionable to travel alone.

    God bless,


  3. Irma-597194 September 3, 2010 Reply

    It is so great to know that I’m not alone (or the ONLY one) flying solo to a wedding. Frankly, I don’t even want to go to any anymore…I’m just tired of going alone. But I do like very much the last paragraph in Jessica Z’s story…I need to remind myself of that very fact EVERY day. I’m 53 years old, never married, always trying to do the right thing…not compromise my Catholic values, be obedient to God’s call of service and ministry. I need to remind myself to be content and love God will all my heart, my mind, my soul, and with all my strength.

  4. Bonnie-305136 September 3, 2010 Reply

    loved your story and you are so right to go solo. weddings are a great place to meet Mr. Right

  5. Jerwin-457910 September 3, 2010 Reply

    i always believe that we need to be serious in terms of choosing well our future..partner in life….LIFE IS A MUST TO BE REFLECTED….

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