Trust & Dating: The Myth Of ‘The One That Got Away’


The Myth of the One that Got Away

I was in the midst of a recent morning commute when I came across a segment titled “The One That Got Away” on one of the local radio stations. I listened as the female caller detailed her recent experience working on a road construction job. She was in charge of the stop sign letting cars drive through the single lane, and every morning a handsome man in a red pickup truck would chat with her on his way to work as he waited his turn to drive through the construction zone. Her attraction to him grew throughout the week, and he even brought her doughnuts on that Friday to brighten her morning.

Her assignment on that site soon ended, and she never did exchange contact information with the man in the red truck, which led her to call into the radio station and let their private investigator track him down for the special segment. Because she had noted the license plate on his truck, the private investigator was able to find the man, and the disc jockeys interviewed him on the air. She was the one who got away, he said, and he promised to never let an opportunity like that pass him up again.

With tools like Facebook, LinkedIn and a basic Google search, it’s difficult to imagine how circumstances like this occur. With only a few pieces of information, anyone can access another person’s photos, work history or a satellite image of his or her residence. There’s even a web site called “Long Time Lost” dedicated to finding elusive romantic connections. Yet this radio segment suggests that there are still people among us who search for “the one who got away.”

But does this person really exist? Are there really people who slip out of lives who shouldn’t have? Can we miss the one who God has planned for us to share our lives with?

Catholic singles live out these questions every day. We come in contact with people in the workplace, at our schools and in our social circles who may appear to be more than just a friend. But many times we balk at suggesting a coffee date or a casual brunch after Mass and wonder, “Did I miss my chance? Did I let my window of opportunity close for good?”

As Catholics, we are blessed to know that this is not possible. The world may believe in “the one that got away,” but our faith and our God promise that all things are possible and everything works to fulfill a perfect plan.

So what if you don’t give your number to your neighbor down the hall or you don’t approach that friendly face after Mass. God knew exactly how each situation was going to play out. Nothing gets away from Him, and we can be assured that the spouse He has created for each us will come into our lives in the very moment He planned all along.

In God’s eyes, “the one who got away” does not exist.



  1. Clifford-432544 December 17, 2010 Reply

    i believe this just hope the one he planned for me would get here aleady

  2. Jim-397948 December 11, 2010 Reply

    We drive everyday..And trust strangers not to cross the yellow line…Looking forward to trusting someone with my heart

  3. Jarrod-631849 December 11, 2010 Reply

    A great point that is so true. Its all about Gods plan and us submitting to his will. There is a great book that builds on this concept called “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris (I know that sounds a little cliche’ on a online dating site, but trust me, he makes a great point)

  4. Roberta-545176 December 7, 2010 Reply

    I love that story. Good on the young woman for taking her fortune in her hand. How fortunate that the young man reciprocated. As to the working of God, i see His hand in it, He graced the young woman with the courange and the will. He graced the young man with the feelings reciprocal to hers. What they do with it as broken people and Satan’s temptations is the rest of the story. Many commentaries show the forks in their path. For my part, i have pursued and been pursued, but God alone has the last word, and i hope that i will be worthy to receive him who is blessed and comes in the name of God.

  5. Rick-256077 November 25, 2010 Reply

    I guess we should take responsibility for what we do and what we don’t do, and stop blaming God’s plan for every time we chicken at the moment we are supposed to take a step forward while in front of the people we care about.
    Even though God may have great plans for us, there is something called “Free Will” and if we don’t take the opportunities God sends to us, it is not his fault or anyone else’s but ours. Although I believe that there is no such thing as only one perfect soul mate for each person, we need to realize that we will not have but a limited number of chances for meeting that special person, and it is up to us to accept them and gather the courage to take a leap at the right moment, or that window may close for good, as I believe many of us may testify.
    We need to know that it is better to take off and hope love will give us wings to fly along that person, because the pain of regret is worse and lasts longer than if we crashed at the time we tried to start a new relationship.
    Let’s not live thinking on “what if…” situations and decide to overcome our fears and act now when we still have time to do something.


  6. Mari-611004 November 7, 2010 Reply

    Hello everybody. I have read an article about “Soulmates”, and it mentioned about “Multiple Soulmates”. So it’s not just one, but multiple:). God bless

  7. Claudia-635473 November 3, 2010 Reply

    I really enjoyed reading this portion.. @ Kathy, i experience what you have done too but for my own opinion maybe for 1000 mens all over the world there still 1 or 2 are gentleman.. We believed in true faith so let us put our bad experiences behind and wait for our right guy in the right time…I do believed that there still have trusted men in this world..Good luck for both of us.

  8. Earl-438334 October 16, 2010 Reply

    What a naively written article, completely devoid of any theological corroboration whatsoever–she must have graduated from same school of relationships Stephanie Wood and Mary Beth did…

  9. Margaret-486763 October 7, 2010 Reply

    Interesting concept.

    • Jay-632977 October 13, 2010 Reply

      This is a great article. There was a time when I was younger that I thought I had a soulmate that I missed out on, and missed out on a life of happiness, but the older I get and look back at that relationship I realize that I’m fortunate to have missed that opportunity and I wouldn’t have been happy now (because I matured and experienced new things in life). Now I have a lot more trust that things happen for a reason.

      • Joan-529855 October 14, 2010 Reply

        There is no “soulmate” or “one that got away”. Also, there is no “masterplan”, put together by God, to control who we meet/marry. The problem with people is that they want to rely on others for happiness/fullfillment, when in fact the only source of true happiness/fullfillment is from God. Once you realize that others are not put on this earth to meet your needs, you will only look to the ONE that can meet those needs, God. As St. Frances de Sales said, marriage is designed to make an already holy person holier, through self-sacrifice. If you have not already reached your maximum potential for holiness as a single person, you have no business seeking marriage. So, “the one that got away”, only means that at that time you had not reached your maximum potential for holiness and were not ready for a relationship. When I was “holier” enough for marriage, and my former spouse was “holier” enough for marriage, we met and married. Unfortunately due to “sin”, as man is not perfect, that marriage ended in divorce. Despite the fact that marriage made both of us “holier”, “sin” is still very much a part of our lives because SATAN wants nothing more than to destroy marriages through sinful acts. You can be “holy” but still make sinful choices (look at St. Peter). “The one that got away” doesn’t exist and neither do “soulmates”….trust me.

  10. Hedwig-187792 October 5, 2010 Reply

    Great story; I knew that already, but it had faded away; it gives hope again. God will draw everything right. Excuses for my soso english, I am from Holland. Pax..

  11. Mark-25241 October 3, 2010 Reply

    I really needed that, thanks Jessica.

  12. Debra-423073 October 3, 2010 Reply

    I do believe that God has someone set for us, but he makes the opportunities for us to get with the “one” he has designated for us, but ultimately, it is up to us to make it happen. We must be bold, challenge ourselves to break out of our shells, and grab that opportunity that he has put in front of us. So, I don’t 100% agree with this article.

  13. Stacey-101742 October 3, 2010 Reply

    Unfortunately , it is true that the one got away . Sometimes , humans can interfere in Gods plan. I have seen this and been victim of it. Like asking God why my marriage ended , why Jim left, He/God said I cannot interfere with man’s free will . It was not what I wanted to hear. That is what makes it painfully human. …I cannot interfere with anothers free will , just because I think they are the one in my heart , they for reasons just are not on the same page. Our culture shows this . Not even among Catholics are we on the same page , with how some interpret teaching , versus truth . Gods will is for us to be fulfilled , but sometimes , it might have to be with Him , because others don’t get it .

  14. Mike-189484 October 3, 2010 Reply

    Well we have to do our part. Imagine a person that said that they don’t need an education since God can get them a good job without it. We have to do our part, have to give God something to work with.. Same in the social field, someone that has an active social life, active church life, active family life, someone that has a good circle of good friends, is giving God a lot to work with. I wish I had known that years ago…

    • Lori-533542 October 11, 2010 Reply

      Great point, Mike!

    • Patricia-288425 December 28, 2010 Reply

      I agree with Mike’s comment – we’ve got to give God something to work with . . . my biology teacher, encouraging me to continue my studies after landing a pretty fantastic job said to me “Chance favors a prepared mind.”

  15. Cheryl-426667 October 1, 2010 Reply

    Someone has to make a move or no one would ever go on a date. LOL

    • Stacey-101742 October 3, 2010 Reply

      I like Cheryl’s comment , someone has to make a move, or what is the point of getting to know one another. What is the point of these web sites ?

  16. DionysiaDamayanti-497168 September 29, 2010 Reply

    I believe GOD has many ways to help us. I am still single in my age of 41. Some relatives and friends told me that I had to get married soon because I would have difficulties to get pregnant. But the important thing for me is to let GOD do what is the best for me. I just pray and try according to the words of GOD mentioned through the bible.

  17. Kathy-555815 September 28, 2010 Reply

    It has been my experience that you cannot trust men, they will do anything for money.

    • MariadelRosario-510911 September 28, 2010 Reply

      Trust in Dating UMMMM!! I was marry once and I think he was completely the wrong person for me, but I trusted him even though I had a terrible experience 12 years before with my daughter’s dad and again, this man cheated in many ways and it was very dissapointed and hurtful, but I do believe there are good men out there, bc I had a great dad and he was a great husband , friend, uncle, grandfather etc… and I have two brothers one marry and he’s a great husband, brother, friend, dad etc… and the single brother is a good boyfriend to his girlfriend, honest, loyal, sweet etc…. so I think that families like mine still exist it’s just to wait for God to send that right person to you, so I decided to wait for him to give me a sign with the right man or just to let me know if it’s better to stay by myself.

    • Anthony-497204 October 10, 2010 Reply

      Hey now Kathy- that is totally untrue! :-/ Maybe SOME men would do anything for money but not ALL!

    • James-194907 October 23, 2010 Reply

      Yo, Kathy! Easy now….generalizations like that kept many people enslaved, unable to vote(women?)
      and illiterate. I got one word for you…THINK.

    • Glenn-490345 October 26, 2010 Reply

      I can say the same thing about several women that I have met here on CM, and dozens more throughout my life…but to make such simplistic gender-wide generalizations based on your experiences with a few bad apples?

      Maybe a litlle introspection to see if there might be something about you that prompted this behavior on the part of the men whom you hold in such diasdain might be in order….If you were as cynical with these men as you were with the comments that you posted here, small wonder that your experiences with members of the opposite sex were less than stellar..or successful.

      As then old saying goes “Keep doing what you’ve been doing…and you’ll keep getting what you’ve been getting”.

      The first place you should look to resolve a problem is in the mirror.

Post a comment