Let’s Talk About Sex (And Not Having It)


Most readers here are probably familiar with the benefits of saving sex for marriage.

John Paul II’s Theology of the Body teaching has brought greater understanding and more widespread embracing of the Catholic Church teaching of sex being reserved for one man and one woman within marriage, rooted in the dignity of the human person and the sanctity of sex.

But how many of you would guess that a mainstream news source ran a piece titled “Why NOT having sex might be good for you”? And that that piece had 2,000 people recommend it on Facebook and dozens of comments in support of this proposal.

While this piece was not Catholic teaching or Theology of the Body in mainstream language, it was refreshing to see this topic addressed on a mainstream news site (no matter how conservative it’s known to be).

Here’s a snip of the column, written by comedian Steven Crowder.

Listen, one doesn’t need to be religious (nor a rocket scientist) to see the value of abstinence. Let’s disregard the immediately eliminated risk of increasingly common STDs and STIs. Heck, let’s even discount the statistical data showing that sexual exclusivity seems overwhelmingly conducive to a successful marriage. Abstinence also provides an incomparable bond of trust in a relationship.

Yes, I admit it: I’m in a long-term relationship and I’m abstinent. Scandalous, I know. It’s an incredibly difficult thing to do (mostly for me, because she’s way out of my league), and that’s what makes it so important.

I can tell you beyond any doubt that my lady is able to control herself and stick to her values regardless of circumstance. Just as surely, she can say the same about me (Ben&Jerry’s benders notwithstanding). It is that display of self-control, that tangible example of living your principles through your life’s walk that assures her that I won’t be jumping on the first well-proportioned opportunity that comes my way.

Strong trust is the result of this self control, admits Crowder. That, and what he anticipates will be a much more liberating sex life based on trust, loyalty, and open communication – not too far off from what the church would say as well.

Again, nice to see a mainstream source running this type of piece. I think all our relationships could use a little more trust, loyalty, and open communication, and sometimes it takes a little honesty to get to that place.

Kudos to Stephen Crowder for being honest in his column – this reader appreciated it!



  1. Mary-732729 November 5, 2012 Reply

    I am proud to be what is now considered an oddity-saving my virtue for marriage 😉

  2. Gail-648552 November 27, 2010 Reply

    2 Cor. 12:9
    Beautiful scripture making me proud to stay chaste. 🙂

  3. Elaine-501610 November 3, 2010 Reply

    I would be more impressed if it was not Fox News reporting this as Fox News is more expected to not just lean, but promote from the top of the mountains what is considered to be the more conservative outlook on life. It would have been vastly more impressive if the New York Times had published this. But then, of course, the sky would have fallen.

  4. LillianTeresa-528523 November 2, 2010 Reply

    When my daughter was a teen, I bought her a chastity ring and today she wears it as her wedding band… Also, for those unfamiliar with a very good book on a related matter ….check out A Return to Modesty, by Wendy Shalit. Published in 1999. It was well received in conservative circles and panned by liberals.

  5. LillianTeresa-528523 November 2, 2010 Reply

    I posted this on FB when it first ran.

  6. Diane-481644 October 31, 2010 Reply

    Good read…………
    I’m wondering how people cannot know that the main purpose of marriage is to produce children, populating Heaven. Some people cannot have children, which is understandable, but the main purpose is for man and woman to unite, produce children and work to get themselves and their children into Heaven. So, How can people not know that per marital sex and birth control is a mortal sin? Is this not being taught in catechism classes, Catholic schools and in pre cana anymore? Genesis 38:8-10
    8 Juda, therefore said to Onan his son: Go in to thy brother’s wife and marry her, that thou mayst raise seed to thy brother.
    9 He knowing that the children should not be his, when he went in to his brother’s wife, spilled his seed upon the ground, lest children should be born in his brother’s name.
    10 And therefore the Lord slew him, because he did a detestable thing.

  7. Carlos-167015 October 31, 2010 Reply

    I liked this artivle. Good job :0) and thank you.

  8. Candace-587406 October 30, 2010 Reply

    You can find the same benefits by choosing NFP as well.

  9. George-629797 October 30, 2010 Reply

    Thought I knew all the arguments for abstinence. This article just gave me a few more excellent ones, and insights for personal meditation. Thanks goes to both authors!

  10. Anna-635092 October 28, 2010 Reply

    Interesting – little response since posting yesterday. Well, I for one haven’t the foggiest who Stephen Drowder is, (comedian who wrote the piece) is, but I plan to goggle him and learn more about his career. I certainly admire the wink & smile that accompanied his monologue. And, overall I enjoyed & agree wholeheartedly with him.

  11. Patrick-606389 October 27, 2010 Reply

    LOL . . . well of course. Uh oh something about which I am in full agreement with —

  12. Kathy-555815 October 26, 2010 Reply

    I am glad to see someone promoting honesty.

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