Sustainable Marriages In The All-About-Me Era


It’s not all about you.

How many times have you wanted to say that to a friend, family member or co-worker? No matter how you present our individualistic culture, it comes down to me, me and who else?


Knowing this, I was not surprised to come across an article titled “The Happy Marriage Is The ‘Me’ Marriage.”

New York Times blogger Tara Parker-Pope writes:

“The notion that the best marriages are those that bring satisfaction to the individual may seem counterintuitive. After all, isn’t marriage supposed to be about putting the relationship first?

“Not anymore. For centuries, marriage was viewed as an economic and social institution, and the emotional and intellectual needs of the spouses were secondary to the survival of the marriage itself. But in modern relationships, people are looking for a partnership, and they want partners who make their lives more interesting.”

The title of the article speaks for itself, but in the end, Parker-Pope unexpectedly does not promote selfish relationships. Instead, the article promotes mutual self-expression and self-growth in a marriage. It is through these functions that a marriage is not only sustainable, but fulfilling.

“People have a fundamental motivation to improve the self and add to who they are as a person,” Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., a professor at Monmouth University in New Jersey, said in the article. “If your partner is helping you become a better person, you become happier and more satisfied in the relationship.”

Although you may not be at the time in your life where you need to develop a sustainable marriage, you can work to develop sustainable friendships and more importantly, a sustainable love for Christ. These solid relationships create the foundation for the most sustainable, life-giving marriage.



  1. Phillip-677123 January 26, 2011 Reply

    With guidance from Christ, success for any human relationship requires full commitment from both parties. Half way relationships do not work.

  2. Dionne-675109 January 25, 2011 Reply

    I totally agree. Marriage should allow you to grow into a better person. It is a lifetime commitment and not just a ceremony.

  3. Lindsey-297821 January 16, 2011 Reply

    I think people have honestly lost sight of what marriage is really about. They get married because they are lonely, desperate, because everyone else is doing it, they want money, etc. Its not about that at all! Its about finding someone that you can spend your life with that will fulfill it enough to help you get to heaven. And its not just for a few moments in time. Its for the rest of your life! People don’t seem to understand that these days either. When you tie yourself to that other person in this holy sacrament, you are doing so for life! The divorce rate in this country has gone up so much to the point that marriage is a thing of the past.

  4. Alex-382372 January 16, 2011 Reply

    Sorry I have to admit I love that show the HILLS 🙂 but I can’t STAND heidi or spencer

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