Singles Hoping For A More Meaningful Lent


Giving up chocolate may not cut it.

As CatholicMatch members prepare for Lent, many are reporting a more mature approach to the liturgical season centered on the disciplines of fasting, almsgiving and prayer. It’s an important chance to grow as a Catholic – and become better prepared for the future spouse God has in store for you.

“Lent for me used to be a time of giving up something,” Tom-32153 said. “As faith matures, I think Lent can be a time of embarking on improving ourselves, taking time to put renewed energy into improving our talents, taking care of ourselves better through diet or exercise – whatever area in life we perceive as a weakness. I think for me I will work on giving up on being totally self-reliant and coming to grips that God is Providence, and He has a plan.”

Eliza-405024 said she’s been through a similar paradigm shift. “I used to give up food for Lent but not anymore. I now pray more and do the Stations of the Cross every Wednesday and Friday during Lent.”

Deanna-558852 echoed that sentiment. She’s hoping to move beyond the joking and grousing this March. “Like Tom, the Lenten season used to be about giving something up and how difficult that was or how lousy I was for giving in and having whatever I gave up,” she said, “but as I’ve matured I, too, have focused more on how I can be better as a person on my faith journey. I regularly attend Stations of the Cross during this season, which happens to be my favorite devotion.”

And Deanna’s got a special aid for this Lent’s Stations: a gift from a friend. “This year I have the Stations from Mary’s perspective, which a friend brought back to me from Medjugorje,” she said. The book is called Mary’s Way of the Cross and is written by Richard Furey. “The stations help me to focus on His great sacrifice for me,” Deanna said. “His sacrifice and service for me encourage and support my sacrifice and service to others.”

Ted-548403 has a specific goal for Lent, based on the same approach Deanna’s taking. “Usually each Lent, there are some favorite indulgences of mine that I give up, along with some type of fasting, on Wednesdays and Fridays,” he said. “However, recently it seems the Holy Spirit has given me an increased sensitivity to, you might say, ‘the words people speak and how they hurt others.’ I’ve simply noticed a tension when people speak either directly to another person, or about another person, negatively, behind their back. I get the sense from the Lord He would have me ‘fast’ from negative speech, judgemental thinking, gossip, even excessive talk.”

Reflecting on James 3:5-6 has inspired Ted. “I think given some of the conversations I have heard lately, the hurt inflicted by others, and myself, either in the word spoken or written, that this is an area where I need to shore up and improve.”



  1. Peggy-697195 March 24, 2011 Reply

    I was just about to subscribe to this service; being new to Catholic Match this week, when I realized that the only man I should be focusing on this season of lent is Jesus Christ. I will devote this computer time to saying the rosary, attending daily mass more often and the Stations of the Cross. I can wait until Easter Sunday to explore my personal options and to hopefully make new friends via this website.

  2. Angela-304987 March 23, 2011 Reply

    Lent has definitely become more meaningful in the last few years for me. I try to drown out other influences like TV, facebook chatter, and try to have more time for reflection.

  3. Lily-701924 March 18, 2011 Reply

    I am focused on stewardship and giving to those in parish with basic necessities which are unmet. Giving up my time and resources for lent,

  4. Catherine-699510 March 12, 2011 Reply

    Lent is a perfect time to take stock and make changes in my life where needed. I’m looking forward to deepening my prayer life and my awareness of God’s will for me.

  5. Pam-698500 March 10, 2011 Reply

    Last year I gave up t.v. for the whole of Lent and tried to focus more on reading the bible. The reading part didn’t work out as well as I hoped, but the time away from t.v. helped me to spend time on other things or with others. This year, I didn’t really have anything specific, but after reading some of what others are doing, it gives me some ideas that I will look into.

  6. Betsy-116643 March 9, 2011 Reply

    After reading this beautiful article and your comments, it gives me courage to give up something I like and invite me to pray more. I will start with the Stations of the Cross. I think it would be great if we can pray for eachother to live this lent with love, faith and wanting in our hearts that God lives in us and touch us with his precious hand.

    • Ted-548403 March 10, 2011 Reply

      Prayers for you and all the other posters to have the grace to follow through on your Lenten intentions, and to be richly blessed by Our Lord in all things, large and small, that you do these 40 days.

  7. MaryAnn-447263 March 9, 2011 Reply

    Lent as giving up something like chocolate went by the wayside for me 10 years ago when my husband died. Instead that year and every year since I spend at least an hr. each day visiting with someone who’s grieving, whether by phone or in person. Sometimes it’s multiple people thru the 40 dyas, some years it’s the same person if they need that daily boost of caring. Helps me be more Christlike by concentrating on another, praying each day for and with them as they make the transitions.

  8. JulieIris-490689 March 8, 2011 Reply

    All is good. Its a time to reach out and give of time to the less fortunate. there are a lotof people hurting for many reasons.

  9. Lent for me means to eat only twice a day and to stop going out to dance in order to give the saved money to the poor.

  10. Michele-694438 March 7, 2011 Reply

    As I was reading through these comments, the comment by Ted about “excessive talk” really made me stop and reflect. I find myself sometimes just turning off the TV or radio for some quiet space. Although I consider myself more of a listener and less a talker, I’m wondering why these 2 works jumped out at me. Maybe for this Lent I will do more conscious listening–to God–and what He wants me to hear. Thanks all for this meaningful discussion.

  11. Stephen-668876 March 7, 2011 Reply

    This Lent I hope to focus more on giving than giving up. As Mother Theresa said it so well, ” Do little acts of kindness with great love”. As I look around and see the needs of others around me there is much that can be done. Simple acts of kindness that will make a hugh difference in someones life. And hopfully this will take on a way of life for me that goes beyond this special season of Lent.

  12. Laura-118027 March 7, 2011 Reply

    I just want to thank Ted-548403 for putting so succinctly what I feel I need to do not only for Lent, but as a start to bringing peace and happiness into my life on a daily basis. I am referring to his statement, “I get the sense from the Lord He would have me ‘fast’ from negative speech, judgmental thinking, gossip, even excessive talk.” Most of my negative speech and judgmental thinking is directed toward myself and I need to stop – Now! Also, my “excessive talk” is a direct indicator to actually “shut up”, instead of continuing on a tangent. I wish us both much luck with our goals as this type of behavior is so much a part of just who I have become, I know I will need to make a continual conscious effort to Just Stop! and look to the Lord for strength and guidance to do His will.

  13. Linda-528209 March 7, 2011 Reply

    I have already signed up for a weight challenge during Lent, along with an excercise class figuring this will keep me better focused on improving me and giving up my many “indulgences”. I believe that’s a good idea to think before speaking and that would be most beneficial for me. Also, I plan to improve my prayer life by saying a rosary daily and reading The Little Black Book for Lenten daily reflections (

  14. Teresa B. March 7, 2011 Reply

    I believe there comes a time in everyone’s life when more devotion to Jesus and God and the promises of Heaven replace the practices of giving up food, tv, candy etc. Although this year I did say less pc and more prayer for others was a priority this lent.

  15. Bernice-325875 March 7, 2011 Reply

    So many of these sentiments have been my own in the past, give upn bagels, chocolate, whatever and then of course fail. So ths year I am going to try and attend daily mass three times a week.

  16. Nekeisha-386546 March 6, 2011 Reply

    Lent for me in recent years has also been more about adding than giving up, and also about keeping those things in my life after Lent is over, I now say the Rosary daily, attend Daily Mass and pray more. This year among other things I want to add or improve in my life, I need to work on organisation and time management.

  17. John-404567 March 6, 2011 Reply

    I am going to give up fast food, as well as; start working out and working towards my ultimate weight goal. I will also be doing the rosary once a week at least.

  18. Kathy-526158 March 6, 2011 Reply

    I really liked this piece. In the past few years, I have begun to try to do something good as well as give something up. I usually do not do very well. With the help of this site and my own determination, I will focus more on my faith this Lenten season. Giving up FaceBook is a great idea!

  19. Katii-532533 March 6, 2011 Reply

    For Lent I am going on a dating fast, and I’m not going to spend time one on one with my guy friends. Through daily mass and prayer I will be focusing on my relationship with Christ and letting him pour into my life.

  20. Jacque-667365 March 5, 2011 Reply

    Lent may be a time of giving something up, which I struggle on an everyday basis in trying to reach a specific weight goal. So, this lent will need to be a time of reading the little black book on a daily basis and praying the rosary on a daily basis. Who know with the help of daily prayer I may reach my weight goal along with growing stronger in my faith.

  21. Yvonne-604047 March 5, 2011 Reply

    I found the article very thought provoking, and has given me food for thought during this approach to lent.

  22. Michelle-578686 March 5, 2011 Reply

    I am giving up facebook. I also started a Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary 33 day prayer that would go through most of lent!

    • Ted-548403 March 10, 2011 Reply

      St Louis de Montfort’s Total Consecration is a perfect Lenten exercise! I commend you for this, and you will be richly blessed in this endeavor!

  23. Joann-451185 March 5, 2011 Reply

    i like what Ted said….i could definitely fast from saying to or about people that is negative or defaming to them this is a big fault of mine that i struggle with

    • David-698018 March 8, 2011 Reply

      I really liked this piece. In the past few years, I have begun to try to do something good as well as give something up. I usually do not do very well. With the help of this site and my own determination.I will be focusing on my relationship with Christ and letting him pour into my life.I need to work on organisation and time management.

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