Elizabeth-521570: ‘Why Am I Still Single?’


By Elizabeth-521570

It is all too easy to find myself asking, even pleading with God: “Why am I still single?”

It was not long ago, I would kneel in church before and after Mass, begging God to let me get married soon, so much so that the majority of my prayer life centered on the topic of my singleness.

After some less than perfect dates and some perfect-on-paper relationships, I started to withdraw from the dating scene. It was then that I was able to hear what God was telling me and grow closer to Him.

I look at Lent less as of a time to dwell on singleness and more of time to reflect on Christ’s pure love for His people.

It is so easy to get caught up in the “why me” feelings of being single, but why not spend this Lent growing closer to God and renewing your faith?  Why not spend your time praying for your future spouse and children? Remember, putting yourself first is likened to worshiping false prophets or idols.

I attended a wedding right before Lent and the priest said that in order to find true joy, you need to take the letters of “joy” apart and check your priorities: If your priorities are Jesus, Others, and then You, you’re on a good path!

May this Lenten season bring you the time to reflect on Jesus’ selfless love and the peace to know that if you have a strong calling, God will provide.

I close with one of my favorite Bible verses, John 15:7:

“If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.”

Reflection question: How can you grow closer to God?

Editor’s note

Read more Lenten reflections written by CatholicMatch members:



  1. Carolina-855161 May 8, 2012 Reply

    I love the article. A few months ago I felt God was inviting me to fall in love with him first and to trust that your time will provide.

  2. Jason-517169 April 23, 2012 Reply

    You can’t get fan mail if you’re with a broken link to your profile! HA! HA! 😉

    Nice, subtle tip though! Write an article and business flocks to your door!

  3. Philip-839024 April 16, 2012 Reply

    I faithfully believe that God has everything under control. It will work out best if we can trust Him with our hearts. Lord, anything you want for me, I accept wholeheartedly and without reservation. If you mean to find me someone who can love me and I can love, while here on Earth and here on Catholic Match, so shall it be with my soul. All Glory and Honor to you, Almighty Father. Amen

  4. Emile-736223 January 25, 2012 Reply

    When we the people research the meaning of the word {LOVE} and apply it the proper way,everything will fall into the right place with no effort.Talk to me!

  5. Jenna-801369 December 14, 2011 Reply

    God has perfect timing. I believe that firmly!

  6. Linda-772020 October 19, 2011 Reply

    I ask myself the same question day after day,then I critically look at myself and wonder if I need to be better for my spouse and I realize that I do,so each day,I try to become a better person.Stay confident that God is still preparing someone for you,it’s just that he is still molding him to fit you.Be blessed.

  7. Bob-179105 May 22, 2011 Reply

    Elizabeth, very well said, indeed! I truly love this acronym: J O Y. My our dear Lord continue to bless you and yours!! You have inspired me!! Your friend in Christ, Bob

  8. Gege-703352 May 5, 2011 Reply

    Thank you Elizabeth for sharing this with all.It ‘s very instructive.I sometimes effectivelly get over the solitude by saying to myself “At least I have more time to pray and to grow im my spititual life”. I believe that if I was married earlier, I would not be the person I am today.I thank God for His Right Timing.God bless

  9. Inah-190079 April 25, 2011 Reply

    Thanks Elizabeth, although I read this after lent season but this made me reflect. But human as we are we can still think of it….I was a devout christian but sometimes I felt sad about that question “why I am still single”. And in someways, I think of it positively. I made a reflection on your story and that make s me think again. that I should change again and pray harder to God..

    Thank you.

  10. Elizabeth-521570 April 19, 2011 Reply

    Thanks, everyone for taking time to reply to my blog post! I really apprecate your time reading and sharing your thoughts and feelings. I truly have found peace in my being single. I have been blessed with many opportunities for growth, spiritual, professionally, and personally!

    I hope you all have a blessed Holy Week!

    Love and prayers for each and every one of you~

  11. Roque-683018 April 18, 2011 Reply

    You are a beautiful woman and I would like to meet you the soonest.
    take care and be patience.

  12. Johanna-712278 April 17, 2011 Reply

    Two is better than one, eventhough we rely on God’s time and patience in the end God wills all to each of us in His own way. Let us just give Him thanks and praise in our daily lives and, who knows, He’ll surprise you,He works in mysterious ways and He has a sense of humor too. Get to know Him better,even intimately, and you will find out that sooner your wishes gets granted…according to Him. Amen to that. Remember He knows what is best for us cos He taught us patience.

  13. Todd-681359 April 17, 2011 Reply

    foe me reallove is . god .and god’s intent for us to have a realloveng mate help mate for me women to give peca of mind in reallove . right now i need just that more than i ever thot win i was young yet knoweng reallove it make’s the wate ezeer yet wer is mis right to love and be loved by in reallove pleas oh god send me mis right to grow old with being lifetime for each of us in reallove famly all the way as all i am is her’s to love me and love her in reallove

  14. Dawn-58330 April 16, 2011 Reply

    Elizabeth, much of what you wrote echoes my own thoughts, plaints to God. Thank you for your honest and heart-felt reflection. I think many people feel that you echo their hearts.

    I use the JOY concept in my classes. It has caught on quite well, and I refer personally to it, Whenever I feel a lack of joy in my life, I check my priorities to see if they are out of wack. They usually are and that’s the reason I was feeling down.

    I wish you much Easter JOY in the coming weeks!

  15. Marilyn-686726 April 12, 2011 Reply

    John 15:7 is my favorite Bible verse as well Elizabeth. I pray quite often for my marriage, but now, especially during the Lenten season, I’ve been concentrating more on just thanking God for all the blessings I have in my life!

    • Derrick-769010 September 27, 2011 Reply

      Its always important and great to pray to God for our needs and desires. Lent time, novenas and fasting are the right medium and times to pray and ask God. But patience pays and God time is the best. So trust and keep asking God will surely grant you a Husband.

      God bless you.

  16. Paul-663898 April 11, 2011 Reply

    Why is being single considered a bad thing?

    • Dawn-58330 April 16, 2011 Reply

      Paul, I don’t think Elizabeth is saying that being single is a bad thing. For most of my life I have enjoyed being single, though I don’t enjoy it as much as a I used to. Being single has given me many gifts in life that I would not have had had I married. I don’t regret my single life and I don’t wish to end it prematurely, which is why I put this all in God’s hands. He knows where the best life for me lies.

  17. Andrew-350725 April 11, 2011 Reply

    Elizabeth, nicely said…thank you for this wonderful reflection and God Bless

  18. John-708636 April 10, 2011 Reply

    We can all find things that make us feel as though we are all alone, but are we. Our Lord watches over us, knows what we are going through, and even speaks to us. I felt as though the homily from this mornings Mass was just for me. I am sure that others felt the same way. Elzabeth, thanks for your reflections and hang in there, and in the words of my Mom…..”God ain’t done with you yet”….She died several eyars ago and took with her all the wisdom of Solomon…..

  19. Lucy-481878 April 10, 2011 Reply

    “It was not long ago, I would kneel in church before and after Mass, begging God to let me get married soon, so much so that the majority of my prayer life centered on the topic of my singleness.”

    That was me up to about ten years ago. Now, more and more every day I take joy in the people already in my life. They were always there; I never recognized them as blessings. I am truly blessed.

  20. Rhonda-451306 April 6, 2011 Reply

    Let me tell you from experience. It is better to be single than to be in an unhappy marriage. Wait until God sends the right one don’t settle for Mr. Right now when God has Mr. Right out there for you be patient and God will send him when you are ready.
    I Love your JOY idea… I think that is so true!

    • Tammy-397262 April 18, 2011 Reply

      Thank you for that comment. I was struck by your thoughts and made me reflect how blessed I am being single and also thinking that there are many women trapped in an unhappy marriage. God bless you. God bless us all.

  21. Annalyn-705569 April 5, 2011 Reply

    dear Elizabeth, Thank you so much for this wonderful reflection. I am recently divorced and have been struggling with my priorities. JOY is a simple but profound reminder of what all our priorities should be. Always Jesus first. God bless you

  22. Louis-648894 April 5, 2011 Reply

    Part of the answer lies in your first paragraph where you state that after some less than perfect dates, I withdrew from dating. To be able to get married, you will have to settle for the inperfect date, and then later the imperfect spouse. I have dated with the intent of seriously wanting to get maried, but I have met several women who were looking for a person whom never disagreed with them and saw everything the way they did. One woman seemed to think that dating and marrage would be an extension of her single life. She had no interest in discovering what “our” way would be. She was looking for the man who saw things exactly the same as she did and that way when she got married, she would still have everything “her ” way since no compromise would be necessary.

    Maybe this is not you, but many m,en and women are looking for a perfect person. Perfection, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. your vision of perfecet may not be the same vision of your date or future spouse. They may think it is you who is less than perfect. Marriage is always a benefit and a compromise mixed together. It is a benefit, because you have family and someone to share your life with. Children to raise and enrich your life with. You will have someone to grow old with. Yet, it is a compromise. It is the end of having everything your way. It is no longer “your turn all the time” sharing your life with someone in marriage means that literally your life (as you no it) is over. The two become one in every sense of the word! Now it is not about where you would like to live, where you would like to work, what kind of vacation you would like to take or what kind of car you want to drive. It is all about where will “we” live, work and vacation. What will “we” drive, etc. When you spell “marriage” there is an “i” in it, but when you live marriage, there is non “I” in there. It is all “us” and “we”.

    Go out on those less than perfect dates, Plan on settling and compromising. There are no perfect future spouses, but you and I are not perfect either, so if there were any perfect future spouses out there, the first thing they wopuld do is reject you or I.

    • Dawn-58330 April 16, 2011 Reply

      Louis, I like the good dose of gentle pragmatism you have injected here. You sound very realistic and healthy in your approach. Solid. One thing Lent has shown me this year more than any year is how very non-romantic (not unromantic) the hard journey of life is. The closer and closer we get to the Cross the more stark, harsh and tough it gets. We do have a tendency to romanticize Holy Week and finding love… it’s time for us to wake up and see the Love in the grit, the blood, the tears and the sacrifice. That kind of commitment– one that is held onto to with tenacity– is the one we all need to look for.

  23. Patricia-600423 April 5, 2011 Reply

    You are truly never alone or not loved–God is always with us, loving us completely and unconditionally.

  24. Ana-473586 April 5, 2011 Reply

    Thanks, can totally relate but sometimes it’s best to be alone then to be sorry later, all happens in God’s time.

  25. Carolaine-631526 April 5, 2011 Reply

    Elizabeth, wondrous reflection…
    Blessings to you…

  26. Lilian-459476 April 5, 2011 Reply

    tnx elizzabeth this refleccion help me to live beter the lent time,good bless you.

    • Jason-299474 April 28, 2011 Reply

      u are pretty dont know why u are single either.lilian 459476.can we talk somtime

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