Money Matters: What Women Expect Of Your Bank Account


It began as a simple question in the Tobias & Sara Room forum on on March 17.

Carl-111594 asked, “How much money does he have to make so you ladies would be happy?”

Minutes later, the comments came rolling in, including this clever summation by Daniel-634934: “Can you say ‘lightening rod?'”

More than 200 comments were made on the original thread, resulting in the creation of additional threads to continue the conversation.

Many commenters, like Rob-362135, said that women need a man who can make enough money to support a family, but that money and material items cannot buy happiness. Brenda-444789 and many others said that earning a high income can create problems on its own and not necessarily make a couple happy. Karen-133138 cited a recent Princeton study that found an annual household income of $75,000 is the magic number for happiness.

Still, others, like Alex-314577, said that money does matter. He waited until he was earning $70,000 a year as an engineer before entering the dating world so that he could be confident in his ability to support a spouse and future family.

So how much money do we ladies want the men in our lives to bring home?

As much as it takes.

We are all accustomed to different standards of living depending on our upbringing and geographical location. Some Catholic singles value luxurious vacations, nice dinners and oversized homes, while others prefer modest weekend trips, the occasional night out, and a comfortable, ranch-style home. “As much as it takes” is relevant to the couple and cannot possibly be attributed to a specific income level or lifestyle.

Deanna-558852’s comment on the forum especially resonated with me: “I’d rather spend quality time with my guy doing simple inexpensive stuff like going on hikes, watching a movie at home, making dinner together or lawn care/gardening or a trip to the lake for a picnic than compete with his work schedule because he thinks he needs to bring home six figures.”

No one wants to play second fiddle to a spouse’s career, so for me, “as much as it takes” refers to an income that can let us support a family, purchase a home, enjoy God’s world around us, and help us give back to our community, all while letting us feel stable and secure amidst the uncertainties of life.

Oh, and a lifetime of season tickets at Target Field wouldn’t hurt either…even if we’re in the outfield.



  1. Dean-1150250 November 24, 2014 Reply

    Sadly, many people, dare I say most, associate money and marriage as almost interchangeable terms. Not quite, but close. It seems acceptable for women to have their standards regarding how much money men make and is viewed as a normal expectation. I have struggled with trying to find any expectations that men are allowed to have for women. It sincerely seems like there aren’t any at all, at least not ones the man can enforce if she becomes unreasonable and violative of Scripture.

    Honestly, I was very disappointed when I read “As much as it takes” regarding the expectation of men making money to satisfy women.

    Could we also ask “how much sex does a woman have to provide a man to make him happy?” and then nonchalantly say “As much as it takes” ?

    Keep in mind that men have to earn money by the sweat of their brow and blood of their skin. Women have practically all men want without limit on hand whenever the moment is appropriate.

    Is this too candid a topic to broach? Am I pushing the line? Maybe I am, but isn’t it fair to talk about expectations for women if we can freely talk about expectations for men?

    How about we consider eliminating all expectations and talk about unconditional love and stop treating marriage as a business exchange. Do you think Christ wanted marriage to be transactional?

    I welcome any insight I may have missed.

    His peace unto you.

  2. Hélène-345424 April 5, 2011 Reply

    At my age, retirement income is really the most important. If a man is making $75,000 a year at the moment but he does not have a retirement fund , this is a huge red flag. When you reach 60 years of age and beyond, noone can guarantee that their health will enable them to continue working. Preparing for retirement to me has always meant that you have a guaranteed income that you can comfortably live on without needing to work . One can continue to work , but the money earned is a supplement and not necessary for survival. It seems that a man I met did not see it that way, and would have needed to work until death in order to survive. This was a deal breaker for me.

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