Vince-690564: ‘Am I Going To Find Someone At All?’


By Vince-690564

Why does the one person I’m interested in not seem interested in me?

I meet women who are attractive, or fun, or interesting, or devout, but why can’t I meet someone who’s all-in-one?

I feel like my vocation is marriage, and I see so many people around me in good relationships or marriages.

Is there something wrong with me?

I’m getting older. Am I going find someone at all?

These are questions I’ve asked myself many times as a single person. I’ve felt frustrated, lonely, even a tad hopeless at times.

When I had my conversion about six years ago, placing my trust in God was the hardest but most important thing I did. By surrendering all of my anxieties, questions, and fears to Him and trusting Him to work out the details, I’ve experienced a deep peace in my life (and in hindsight, He’s taken pretty good care of me as well).

But I recently came to the realization that I haven’t been trusting Him in the dating area of my life. I have doubted that He’d really come through for me, that He’d answer my prayers, that He’d lead me (and another special someone) in right direction, and that He’d bring the healing that I need in my life – all of this in order to begin living my vocation, which I believe is marriage.

So how to surrender?

A couple of Lents ago, I was vacuuming my bedroom and was struck by this thought: Jesus was on the cross, bleeding to death, and He cried out, “My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?” It was very real and very dark. “God, where are you?”

But in His darkest moment, when He could not sense His Father, He still said, “Into your hands I commend my spirit.” Wasn’t this the most beautiful act of faith?

Despite the worst pain and feeling of loneliness, He still stepped out.

If somehow I can unite my own questions, doubts, fears, uncertainties, to the ones He experienced – and then, in faith, echo His words of surrender – then I can bring this area of my life under His submission.

When I do that, I believe I’ll be able to receive the blessings He wants to give me. I don’t know exactly what that will entail, but I want to say yes and I believe He is good.

Reflection question: Have you committed your dating life to God?

Editor’s note

Read more Lenten reflections written by CatholicMatch members:



  1. Angela-394784 April 18, 2011 Reply

    Dear Vince, what a beautiful article, thank you for sharing! While it is easy and fun to date, finding a spouse for life is a different story (unless you go by looks alone, and an Angelina Jolie or a Brat Pitt appears at your doorsteps 😉 I think that it is best to leave that task to God Himself, He already knows who your spouse will be, where she is now, and how to bring her into your life. Here is a little prayer that might help in this mission:
    O Jesus, lover of the young, the dearest Friend I have, in all confidence I open my heart to You to beg Your light and assistance in the important task of planning my future. Give me the light of Your grace, that I may decide wisely concerning the person who is to be my partner through life. Dearest Jesus, send me such a one whom in Your Divine wisdom You judge best suited to be united with me in marriage. May her/his character reflect some of the traits of Your own Sacred Heart. May he/she be upright, loyal, pure, sincere and noble, so that with united efforts and with pure and unselfish love we both may strive to perfect ourselves in soul and body, as well as the children it may please You to entrust to our care. Bless our friendship before marriage, that sin may have no part in it. May our mutual love bind us so closely, that our future home may ever be most like Your own at Nazareth.
    O Mary Immaculate, sweet Mother of the young, to your special care I entrust the decision I am to make as to my future wife/husband. You are my guiding Star! Direct me to the person with whom I can best cooperate in doing God’s Holy Will, with whom I can live in peace, love and harmony in this life, and attain to eternal joys in the next.
    …and remember that our God is a timely God, He in never a moment too early or a moment too late in answering our prayers, all we need to do is accept the fact that His, and only His timing is perfect, and we don’t need to rush to make things happen on our own. Trust Him, and He will give your the desires of your heart, and it won’t be a moment too late.

    Blessings to you Vince!

    Angela 🙂

    • Marilou-529899 April 22, 2011 Reply

      what a beautiful article indeed VINCE! and ANGELA, thanks for sharing that prayer, so perfect!

  2. Carolyn-515703 April 17, 2011 Reply

    Vince,thanks for sharing your thoughts. God is good!! Your words remind us that God is always with us and loving us every step of the way. From our first breath to our last, we are in God’s care.

  3. Dionysia D. April 17, 2011 Reply

    Thank you, Vince, for making me know that even in HIS dying moments, JESUS CHRIST kept on showing the way to believe GOD every single time.

  4. Dawn-58330 April 16, 2011 Reply

    Vince, I had never quite looked at Jesus’ cry from the cross in such a way. Thank you for that beautiful gift! You are right— what a great act of faith! The most complete act of faith, to commend His spirit into the Father’s hands, when He didn’t see God being there! Yes, we too are called to surrender in the moments of darkness. We too need to put our lives, our spirits, into the Father’s hands. Bravo!

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