You’re Single, Get Over It


Don't let your single status make you bitter

Although I mention at every opportunity that running a singles website does not make me an expert in dating, I still field a lot of questions from singles.

However, the one thing I do feel confident in sharing and continue to love about my job is simply my observations of singles, based on my professional vantage point. Through countless customer support tickets, community forum posts and, of course, conversations with people who learn what I do, I get to observe an awful lot of interesting behavior over the course of a year – and I have been doing this for more than 10.

The idea for this post came to me one afternoon after reading several comments on our Facebook page and CatholicMatch blog. A handful of comments were very negative – some from people whom I remembered for posting negative comments before. It was at that point when I began to consider how much negativity I see from singles.

Now, don’t get me wrong. You can find lots of negativity in the world, especially online, regardless of marital status.

But singles have a specific challenge: They are still trying to attract someone for marriage. Because there are likely more single people in the world today than any other time in human history – not to mention the high divorce rate and a host of other issues – it is understandable that frustration can easily mount among singles. And it typically increases as you get older.

Self examination

Here’s the problem. As frustrating as it may be to be single and as much hurt and bitterness might have resulted over the years due to bad relationships, heartbreaks, divorce, death or poor choices, the question is: Would you be attracted to you if you could see your own attitude from the eyes of another person?

When I read online profiles and peruse comments in our community forums, on our Facebook page, or on our blog, it becomes apparent that some singles are very bitter about their lot in life – and it comes through when they are interacting with other singles. Because of that bitterness, they tend to blame everything and anything on their singleness. Society is a mess, the media is too superficial, dating websites don’t work – and on and on and on.

But is this the kind of person you would be attracted to?

Lest I be misunderstood, I am not saying it is wrong to feel frustrated, sad or even bitter at times. I more than most understand (both personally and professionally) how difficult things are for singles, especially single Catholics. I can’t imagine the struggle and pain some single Catholics endure.

But there is a big difference between feeling a certain way and dealing with those feelings versus allowing those feelings to permanently color your personality and, thus, negatively influence the way people perceive you.

The right outlook

The older I get, the more I realize that I am not thankful enough for the blessings I have received in life.

I want to see singles happy and I want them to each find that special person to spend the rest of their lives with. But I also see how they sabotage their chances of finding that happiness by allowing their frustration to overcome them and pervade their entire view of life.

Fortunately, we have a great community of support on CatholicMatch, and I encourage you to lean on it to get through the times when we do feel despair. But do not let despair define you.

The next time you decide to make a comment online or even in person, pause for a moment to consider that comment and ask yourself: “If I read this, would I be attracted to me? Would I be inspired and uplifted by my profile, comments and attitude?”

If the answer is no, then you might be preventing yourself from finding “the one.” Perhaps you’re even standing in the way as God guides you toward your vocation.

Maybe it’s time to get over it.

You can follow Brian on: Twitter or Facebook



  1. Dilan-904874 October 5, 2012 Reply

    Eh…its true… Im quite angry at the world, at myself, have questions for God like ‘Why have you let me stay single my ENTIRE life?’ But its my own fault for neglecting my health in earlier years, being too shy and introverted, and just plain not asking any girls out. :\ Now here I am nearly twenty years old, and thankfully, yet very surprisingly to everyone around me, Im still a virgin, single, and with no real ‘experience’. Im surrounded by the corrupt >.> They brag about their deeds, or their happiness, etc. Some of my friends are already married with children and theyre not even twenty-one… So naturally, I tend to feel like Ive gone and wasted my youth. So eventually, when I joined the Church and made the decision to look for a possible spouse, I noticed that of the two churches I go to, there are no options. The girls are either Catholic in name only, already with someone, or totally blind to my existence. So I went online and set up some accounts like this one here, but there’s the next problem. Im BROKE. I think I maybe have three dollars left? My situation is really complicated, but basically Im forbidden to get a job til I go to college, which I cant do til next spring, and even then I dont know if I want to go to that particular one.. On top of that my family is nearly bankrupt, barely enough to get to mass once a month. So Fate it seems has deemed that I not be given the opportunity to find someone until I either thrust myself into a secular college, or come up with some cash. :\ ….None of this would be an issue had I just been born in Poland or Austria… Filled with wonderful Catholic girls >.>

  2. Mallory-855544 September 12, 2012 Reply

    Very nice article 🙂

  3. Andrea C. June 8, 2012 Reply

    Why do you refer to yourselves as Catholics rather than Christians? I’m a Christian. It is about Christ. I believe that I am saved only by Jesus. I am a sinner. He died on the Cross for our sins. We are saved by His Grace. Not anything we do. It is by grace, not by acts. You’re so hung up on being Catholic that you seem to forget it’s about Christ.

  4. Vanessa-749247 December 28, 2011 Reply

    Iv been dealing with alot of difficult times lately… I guess I would not like to be single as I go through these hard times. Having someone I can run to would make things a little easier.

  5. Tom-432657 December 12, 2011 Reply

    Good ways of surviving being single.

  6. Luiza-799027 December 9, 2011 Reply

    Brian….I agree ….we have
    To be grateful of what we

  7. Helaena-743478 December 8, 2011 Reply

    Brilliant! Thank-you!

  8. Josie-633617 December 4, 2011 Reply

    Very Good !

  9. EnriquetaElizabeth-726049 November 14, 2011 Reply

    I totally agree with what you wrote. There should be no reason to feel in despair specially if we could often remember that we have taken ourselves consciously or unconsciously to where we are now in our love life, but more importantly that we have been given the joy of experiencing life, and that if a new love is meant to be met, it will definately arrive at one time or the other. Faith is everything and being thankful for what we have now is essential to be at peace with oneself.

  10. Tammie-741065 November 7, 2011 Reply

    Where do I begin? First, I would like to know if you are single. I would like to know if you have felt the crushing desperation of your child bearing years pass while you yearn for the companionship of a faithful man and a child to fill your womb. From what mountain do you sit in judgement as you charge exorbitant fees for your “singles” website? A website many turn to hoping to find people of faith, with whom to begin a shared life, only to realize that so many here are bereft of common courtesy. You have the audacity to write this article, knowing that if anyone disagrees with you, you can simply brand them as bitter and continue to brainwash your following with empty promises. I am not bitter, I see you and your website for what you are. An empty promise.

  11. Emily-659504 October 2, 2011 Reply

    Yes! Every part of your life is a little step, a little portion of God’s plan for your life no matter where you want to be. Listening to the words of Catholic speaker/writer, Matthew Kelly, has helped me so much. The point of it all (the joys AND the frustrations) is to strive to “Be the best version of yourself.” I go back to that philosophy with every trial and try to figure out how it helped me to be the best version of me and how I can continue to grow. =) God bless all you singles out there seeking God’s will!

  12. Viviana-590158 August 30, 2011 Reply

    I would like to have a free trial also it would be great maybe in that way I could find that ONE person!!!

  13. Awoliyi-761670 August 29, 2011 Reply

    I am I am still very much single at 29 and do look forward to getting involved with someone.Thanks for sharing this.Its been noted.

  14. Luna-708527 August 26, 2011 Reply

    Thanks for the inspiring article. Indeed the outlook is the wonderful advice. Often times, I receive comments such as when are you getting married? What are you waiting for? etc… My answer to all the comments is: patience pays. I know and believe that God’s time has not arrived. Age( for women especially) is a concern because the world has told us so. I am 38 and I am happy for I await for God’s day and time. What I know is that he holds my time and years, for him nothing is impossible. Lets consider this time of being single, time to shape our character, to be better spouse. Lets embrace this time as a precious time to pray for that spouse we dont see but who is being shaped as well. God bless us all as we await from Him!

  15. Paul-663898 May 12, 2011 Reply

    Bravo, Brian!! So many people complain about being single and it’s that very complaining that makes them unattractive. Nice article!!

  16. Tammy-492301 May 1, 2011 Reply

    Can you please use this article as a thread topic in the fora? (:

  17. Louise-609515 April 30, 2011 Reply

    Is is important to remember to respect and be nice to yourself if that is what you expect from others.

  18. Louise-609515 April 30, 2011 Reply

    We want to find someone nice who respects us but the question is do I respect myself?

  19. Celia-576624 April 29, 2011 Reply

    Hello Brian:

    You are so right. Everything is about attitude. I believe we should enjoy life while God sends us the one.

  20. Pearl-95477 April 23, 2011 Reply

    it’s time to get over it! i’m giving the “Hope” to find one to marry me and have kids. will join the single retirees club soon…

  21. Maria-194669 April 23, 2011 Reply

    Great article, thank you Brian

  22. John-676842 April 23, 2011 Reply

    I quite agree, down through time, I’ve had to reexamine my prospective outlook, and inward ‘dealings’, (for the lack of a better word). Also, I’ve learned a valuable lesson as well when listenning to conversations of couples and spouses who talk about mates and why relationships and marriages go asonder; a lot of factors, mostly personalities and money. How they talk, what they say and how they say it. and the money part, well, that particular fact plays a whole lot of varables as you know. In my case when I had a relationship, it dealt with not just my girlfriend, but for reasons I’m not listing here(it gets too long),it dealt with her mother(again, not say why). I’ve had to deal with my being single at work in a positive way, even when alone, I’ve had to reevaluate my situation; my conclusion-it’s the way it is, at least for the time being. I do have a few setbacks that prevent me from having a mate, but for that, it’s a work in progress, however painfully slow. Thank you for your time in reading this. Happy Easter.

  23. Chris-369337 April 22, 2011 Reply

    Wow! How bad do I have ro rag on you to get 3 months free?

  24. Thomas-669718 April 21, 2011 Reply

    This article is so stupid. I could barely get through its self-righteous rambling without barfing or throwing the computer across the screen. Not just the absolute joke that online dating is, and the basis of Catholic Match and other dating websites of capitalizing from the loneliness of people to make money, but also, how shocking it is to see an e-mail in my inbox from Catholic Match with the subject “You’re Single, Get Over It!” Isn’t this why I’m on your website? To think how much more angry I’d be if I actually paid for this pyramid scheme! I thought the point of this website was to meet someone who you can be with romantically, and maybe one day marry, and grow together in your faith and with each other. I didn’t think that I would be criticized just for playing the game. I have no idea if I’d be attracted to me if I read my profile. I’m not a woman. I don’t know what they want. If I did, I would have never come to this website to begin with. The poster Dean-159955 seems to get it.

    • Brian Barcaro
      Brian R. Barcaro April 21, 2011 Reply

      @Thomas-669718 I am more than open to criticism and stated in the first sentence that my experience in starting and managing a singles website for over ten years does not make me an expert in dating and relationships. I just wish you would have taken a different tone. It’s kind of hard to have a civil and productive discussion when I am being accused of “capitalizing from the loneliness of people to make money” and operating a “pyramid scheme.”

      I wrote the article because I have been that person: frustrated, bitter, angry at the world and God, that I have not found my spouse. In some ways, I still am that person. I struggle every day, just as many others do, not to give into that bitterness and frustration. I also have had the opportunity to observe the behavior and attitudes of tens of thousands of single Catholics over the years, and as a result, I have seen so many give in to those negative feelings and thus get in their own way of happiness. While you may not always know what women want, you do know what is attractive or unattractive human behavior and rarely if ever are we attracted to people who seem bitter or angry most of the time.

      Our website does many things, but what it does best and most importantly is to provide singles with a good if not great opportunity to meet their future spouse — an opportunity that is often not provided in their local parish, community or social circles. But the opportunities we provide on our site can go wasted if a person projects an attitude that is not attractive to others. That attitude comes about when we give into the bitterness and frustration of being single.

      I would like to offer you a free three-month subscription to CatholicMatch. I hope your experience will be fruitful and I wish you a joyful Easter.

      • Thomas-669718 April 22, 2011 Reply

        I accept the offer and you make good points, but I just saw the catchphrase “You’re Single, Get Over It” as the wrong way to send the message. It reminds me of “She’s Just Not That Into You” and other similar slogans. I’m sorry if I’m way off base here.

      • Lora-675904 June 16, 2011 Reply

        While you made many good points, your title really hurt. It’s hard to just ‘get over’ your dreams slowly being stripped from you as each year passes as a spouseless, childless ‘leftover.’ I have finally reached peace with it-not serenity, yet- but when you’ve been playing with baby dolls from the moment you could hold an object, it’s hard to let that go. I am leaving this site when my subscription runs out because I have found that it increases the opportunities to be ‘bitter.’ I have been very discouraged by the profiles of the men who do not hold to the teachings of the Church and those who hold to their concentration on the fading things, ‘looks’ etc. The forums have provided me with an opportunity to wallow in the bitterness, especially being taunted with ‘success stories.’ So for my spiritual health I am staying away and have found peace. Being told to ‘get over it’ was perhaps the last straw. Women get hit HARD in their 30’s since their fertility is slowly draining away. This is a real hurt and I believe that there should be outreach by the Church to those mourning their lost parenthood and their intense loneliness. I have started doing that for those in my immediate vicinity, with people I can see face to face and it does help heal the hurt. I do know that some have found their spouses here and I am happy for them, and so sites like these can be a conduit, but as a band-aid. Those that were bitter but had their prayers answered sometimes forget how hard it really was. Please show some sympathy for those that are truly suffering.

  25. Herman-485845 April 21, 2011 Reply

    It is frustrating to send someone an invitation to communicate and to never receive an an answer one way or the other and also to start communicating and receive a phone number, start phone calling and then the lady uses caller ID to screen calls and never answer anymore, no explanation ever being provided. It would be fair to answer all communications and then give an explanation if not interested or no longer interested.

  26. Dean-159955 April 21, 2011 Reply

    I respect everything you say. There are pros and cons to each vocation. But being the traditional guy I am,..I believe that all things considered, it is better to be married then single. This is basic human nature and instinct. We can not procreate if we are single. God himself said, “It is not right for man to be alone.” It is a statistical fact that married men live an average of ten years longer than single men. That is amazing considering how many wifes have probably periodically been tempted to kill their husbands. I am reminded of something that ‘Joseph’ said to ‘Mary’ in the famous Jesus of Nazareth movie from the 70’s. “A single man is only half a man.” I am waiting and searching for my other half. I think when a man and woman who are right for each other get married,..they complete each other.

  27. Marty-244468 April 21, 2011 Reply

    good articlie it says and shows how much more you could accomplish with a good attitude

  28. Sherrill-anne-13557 April 20, 2011 Reply

    Thanks for your perspective.Sometimes people need a little support .However it is true that we should look at things positively

  29. Doug-2161 April 20, 2011 Reply

    Good thoughts and insight Brian!

    As a person still searching, I have noticed a continually increasing sense of selfishness in our world. More and more people are using relationships as a means to simply fulfill their own needs/desires, with less focus on the needs/desires of the other involved. It’s a painful thing to witness occurring, and the results are even more painful for those involved. For those involved in relationships such as these, it does become increasingly difficult to remain a strong, trusting, and loving individual. Selfishness can be directed in more than 1 way though.

    There, of course, is the selfishness that leads one to use another in a relationship, until something/someone that looks better comes along.

    There is also a sense of selfishness that is not so commonly recognized. This is more a sense that because a relationship seems to be the best thing ever to one person, the other party involved should simply have to give up their dreams or any concerns, and make things work. Separating on these grounds can be more painful because things *finally* really could have worked-out. However, we need to understand that no one should ever feel forced into a relationship. Feelings of being forced are always reciprocated with resentment. Each person has to be ready, and each person has a certain amount of personal growth they need to experience in order to realize when they are indeed ready.

    I personally beleive, I have something of a duty, to help each person I have any sort of relationship with, grow as a person. This is especially manifested in dating relationships. And, in order to do this while dating, I have to truly love AND be understanding. It is important to never become a doormat though!

    I have also found it helpful to remind myself that each experience teaches me more about myself. I try to learn as much as possible from each relationship, and better myself from that knowledge.

    So, for me, sure… Things may not work out.. Feelings may become a little hurt. But, with time the superficial pains of those seperations will dissapate. We’ll grow into the unseen happy paths God has plotted for us – and maybe some we’ve made for ourselves. And, the love and understanding I’ve shown will be always be remembered by those who stay close friends.

    God knows who will make us the happiest, the trick is being properly prepared to meet that person. 😉

  30. Laura-575723 April 20, 2011 Reply

    After reading your post, “Your Single, Get Over It,” your last statement “God guides you toward your vocation” is profound. Yes, I can understand the frustration singles go through in regards to finding a partner. Yet, God is at the center of our lives and He guides us accordingly. Therefore, I have to agree with you that it is not our will but God’s will when it comes to our vocations. As an adult I accept His will and count my daily blessings.

  31. Laura-469184 April 20, 2011 Reply

    When you get to be a certain age and you are still single people think there must be something wrong with you. I admit I have that same impression myself even though I am quite mildewed now at 45 and still single.

  32. Maria-382240 April 20, 2011 Reply

    Thanks for the great article!

  33. Roger-677392 April 20, 2011 Reply

    A lot of the negativism we find right in our own church. When I wanted to start a singles group years ago in our parish area the priest just ‘humphed’ and said the members would just get married! HUH! I thought that is the point. It seemed that being single and over 30 you were simply ignored accept when there was work to do. The singles marry so young that middle age is a vast land of being alone. I also have witnessed so many ‘good’ marriages dissolve that you don’t trust your own judgement. I my case going to Sierra club was a country boy lost in a sea of city people that had very little in common. We always have a large group of bachelors because we get set in our ways and there is no real support for them. So if we are negative forgive us it is just our years wearing on us. You have to remember we have no shoulder to lean on.

  34. Janet-688768 April 20, 2011 Reply

    Happy Easter. May Gods Love surround all empty hearts and may we all rejoice in his forgiveness.

  35. Joanne-492450 April 20, 2011 Reply

    I totally agree that you must be attractive in your outlook in life to attract that special someone. Thank you for pointing that out.

  36. Michael-524620 April 20, 2011 Reply

    Way to go Brian! Negative attitudes and comments reflect people who fail to see and feel God’s love, blessings and graces regardless of our life’s journey. You can’t be happy with anyone else unless you are happy with yourself first. So, get happy and many wonderful things will happen.

  37. Maia-181886 April 20, 2011 Reply

    Thanks Brian! Nothing like making someone look in the mirror. Great article!

  38. Holly-709688 April 20, 2011 Reply

    Thanks Brian! It was just what I needed to read today.

  39. Robert B. April 20, 2011 Reply

    I would be attracted to Lori B. too. 😉

  40. Nick-314192 April 20, 2011 Reply

    Well written, thank you.

  41. Lori B. April 20, 2011 Reply

    Would I be attracted to myself? The answer would be a resounding yes. Not because I lack negativity or have a great insight into myself, but that I have a great belief in myself and my God. I have never had difficulty in finding or maintaining relationships but have found in life that the true Catholics lift each other up, not beat each other down. Finding and maintaining support on CM is a good thing in theory, but rarely executed and certainly not nourished or encouraged. You can’t be a square peg trying to fit in a round hole and find success and approval among the masses. So, with that I, a Novus Ordo traditionalist that is a democrat will end with this prayer for myself and all on CM for a less negative and greatly fruitful Holy Week: (it comes from My Imitation of Christ)

    I offer up to thee my prayers and this sacrifice of propitiation for those in particular who have in anything wronged, grieved or abused me or have done me any damage or displeasure. and for those likewise whom I have at any time grieved, troubled injured or scandalized by word or deed, knowingly or unknowingly; that it may please Thee to forgive us all our sins and offenses one against another.

    Have a blessed Holy Week. Treat each other kindly.


  42. Karen-702730 April 20, 2011 Reply

    Yes, great post and I know that my family and friends view me as positive. If I’m feeling gloomy about my singlenes, I save it for when I’m by myself. We are not our emotions, but it’s also important not to ignore those feelings either. I’m human and it’s okay to feel negative sometimes. However, I do ask that happily married people remember what it was like (if they ever did experience a prolonged period of time when they were single) to be single when everyone else in your age bracket is getting on with their lives. I am a woman who always wanted children in the context of a marriage. In a way, I wish God would take that yearning away, so I could enjoy my singlelness even more. I would be even more of a free spirit than I am now. It’s a double-edge sword for women.

    • Sara-329369 April 20, 2011 Reply

      There are certainly many reasons to be negative, especially in a world that encourages premarital sex and shallow relationships, but then we were never promised a perfect world, and in many ways it is a “wonderful world” in the midst of all the problems. After a time of moaning and groaning about being single, God finally gave me grace to pick up my mat and walk and focus on what I do have, which is a LOT. I don’t focus a lot on dating, but I do focus on keeping up my own interests in life, in being active and faithful to my friends, and being open to new ones that God may send. Your blog is a good reminder of where we need to be.

  43. Frank-621211 April 20, 2011 Reply

    I might be single for now but I have found myself not alone, now with the wonderful woman I met right here on Catholic match! So we’re hoping that we blossom in our love and we’re also seeing her priest for marriage instruction as I speak.. XD take care now!!

  44. Guadalupe-683812 April 20, 2011 Reply

    I joined this website thinking that this is an apostolate for singles, but after I learned that this (Catholic Match) is a business where payment is charged for any activity, I lost interest. This is pure and simple a business enterprise for the organizers with a vulnerable captive market. So Catholic Match is a grand deception.

  45. Tami-687693 April 20, 2011 Reply

    Thank you for speaking the truth in love. A message that so needs to be shared, but is seldom spoken. Thank you for that wonderful reminder!

  46. Kenneth-713202 April 20, 2011 Reply

    I’m greatful to the LORD for every second of life that I am blessed with-by THE GRACE OF GOD-I’m alive ,active and I attemp to fullfil my morning promise to do my very best , with every fiber of my heart,soul ,word and deed , to servre the LORD with every fiber in my being.I PROBABLY FAIL MORE OFTEN THAN SUCCEED,If tomorrow morn,I’m given the gift of more than I deserve,I’ll try harder to serve our LORD ineverythought,word and deed and help those in need.

  47. Bruce-630246 April 20, 2011 Reply

    I think that this is excellent advice, each day is a new gift that we can use to appreciate what we have, and try to find someone special to spend our life with, a positive direction, or we can keep the negative past alive, and stay bitter, a negative direction. We have to choose, and be responsible for our choice, and not blame anyone else. Thanks, Bruce

  48. Annalyn C. April 20, 2011 Reply

    Amen, Brian!! We are all on God’s unique path for each of us; maybe it’s not what WE wanted, but it’s what HE wants! Every day is a blessing….be thankful for it!

  49. Marie-575233 April 20, 2011 Reply

    It is difficult to do self examination. It is also painful to accept responsibility for one’s own actions. As you say ,it must be done in order to grow and truly attract what we really need.

  50. Marie-575233 April 20, 2011 Reply

    Self examination is one of the most difficult tasks to perform. Responsibility for one’s own actions is another hurdle to conquer.

  51. Janette-681788 April 20, 2011 Reply

    I feel that this was nor aimed at any person who is not negative. I lost my love last July and have never been angry. I think two points about this broadcasted message. 1). Not everyone needs to get married. Maybe some of us just want to not be alone doing things or do not want to be the third wheel. 20. Also, maybe part of your temperament test should reflect those who are angry and include them in the message. Screen out those who want to have companionship, and not headline the message to all-“You are single , get over it” I am highly offended and feel insulted. May I get my money back?

    • Carlos-876737 July 11, 2012 Reply

      Dear Janette,

      I’m so sorry for your loss. Let me give you a big hug if that’s possible :0) Yes I think that the title of this article is very offensive. That kind of attitude alienates people. Life is about compassion, and empathy. Not a very charitable way to put things down. It seems like the author doesn’t care about others feelings. :-/

  52. David-581527 April 19, 2011 Reply

    You have awaken me I don’t have to keep blaming myself for all that has happen. I need to get over this and move on. God Bless!

  53. Nicholas-605683 April 19, 2011 Reply

    I think responder Catherine made an excellent point, in that “being single does not define her.” In my humble opinion, that’s definitely a great attitude to have. From what I’ve seen, the people who are among the most bitter are the ones who allow themselves (or choose) to feel that their not having a significant other is the “single” most important thing in their lives…if only they could see how counter-productive such a mindset is.

    If those people could simply use half the energy they expend on being bitter into a more practical use (such as creating an attractive, compelling life that someone else would be eager to be a part of), it could be just the thing that attracts the attention of Mr/Ms. Right.

  54. Laura-473035 April 19, 2011 Reply

    Amen, Brian! Negative energy only attracts lint and dog hair.

    It does not attract a pleasant, happy mate. CM works. We need to stop working against it and be our best selves in the fora and in our personal communications.

  55. Ced-433755 April 19, 2011 Reply

    I agree being single is not fun but I am a strong catholic and I don’t think you should profit off of single people. I do not think this website should charge money to email people or have to buy a subscription. I think this site is great but it should run like facebook where you can contact people’s profiles for free!

    • MaryAnn-639758 April 20, 2011 Reply

      I guess you could say while I am not bitter about my past dating, I have just lost trust in men that I have met online and elsewhere. As a Catholic, I want someone who is “emotionally available”, that is a rare find in this world today! I am a widow who lost my husband 8 years ago. I feel online dating has taken the romance out of dating! its too easy to meet someone, if not exactly what they want, they go back to the internet dating site and start seaching again! I feel people don’t give anyone a chance to get to know someone. I have given up on dating sites and refuse to PAY to be on a dating site! As far as Catholic Match goes, it is very expensive for anyone on a fixed income, out of work, over unemployed. With today’s economy and struggling just to keep gas in our cars, paid dating sites are now seem to be out of reach for many people. I have my faith and believe that perhaps I will meet the right person when the time is right, so I leave it in God’s hands now. And he is not going to charge me $39.99 or whatever a month to lead me to a wholesome relationship!

    • Marcella-455205 April 21, 2011 Reply

      i agree w/ this economic cituation and single?….this Web should be free or at least economic!!! 🙂

  56. Liz-106116 April 19, 2011 Reply

    I understand your gist, but today’s world is getting harder and harder to navigate. The support of a partner, the continuity of the emotional intimacy and the nurturing of a good relationship are greatly desired. I’ve reached an age where it is difficult to accept being single and I don’t want to be bitter but it’s hard not to be. As for how I am towards other singles, if it’s someone I”m interested in, I’m the person that I’ve worked very hard to become and naturally am.

    • Carlos-876737 July 11, 2012 Reply

      I agree with Liz 100%. While our happiness shouldn’t gravitate towards being with a partner, some people are more sensitive towards loneliness. Not everyone has a loving family, or true friends. For people who are introverts, being in small groups or doing creative things is imperative. That means a partner is much more important. In the case of extroverts they need people around them constantly bc it energizes them. We all need someone. We are not an island. I’ve contributed on several articles today, not because I feel sorry for myself. I actually don’t expect to find a partner on this site, but I’m looking for answers, and the ones I’ve read so far don’t do it for me. I think more debate and research and prayer will be needed to fully understand why there are so many singles, and why some people, I’m sorry to admit will not be on Cupid’s list. What we should learn is to adjust. How?

      I don’t know find fulfillment in other things. I myself have been active on several environmental projects besides school and I also write a lot of science fiction and would like to publish my work soon. Maybe, if I ever get to have a fanfare I might be able to connect with them and talk about things in common. It might not be what I initially wanted, but it is an adjustment. I hope you find someone Liz, I really do. You seem a nice lady.

  57. Chris-516098 April 19, 2011 Reply

    A very good post — Maybe there a times that were to blame for the image we portray of ourselves. So many singles I’ve contacted have negative baggage rather then positive baggage. Many senior singles are so well establised with grandkids ect that to relocate for example may never work — Move ” Up North ” ” Only in your dreams ” I was told by a potential match..

    • Linda-443528 April 19, 2012 Reply

      Hi Chris,
      There are still people without baggage who have positive attitudes. Those of us have the hope of good relationships and although family, children and grandchildren are important I think that if a relationship extended to commitment those of us would locate to another area. It all depends on the 2 persons involved.

  58. Megan-439922 April 19, 2011 Reply

    I have been going through a lot of difficult times, and this really actually helps. I have always ALWAYS been a very positive person. It is very hard for me to be around people that are always down and negative and I find myself being around them more and more. One reason I think is because I always try to “help” anyone in need. I a lot of times forget to deal with myself and my struggles to be honest. But thanks for the advice…it is much needed!

    • Tom-432657 August 26, 2012 Reply

      Positive people are ones great to be around. Nobody of course would want to be around someone who is negative. So I’m definitely with you Megan.

  59. Catherine-294856 April 19, 2011 Reply

    great article and advice. I am happily single now for close to 6 years after 27 yrs of marriage, and while I have dated, and am certainly not averse to dating – on line or otherwise – the fact that I am single doesn’t define me. I have foiund complete joy in rediscovering my faith and involvement in a number of ministries. If/when I am meant to meet someone again, it will happen, but having a vocation as a single is just as fulfilling and meaningful as a vocation as a married person or someone who chooses religious life. So yes, get over it and get on with it! You are more than your marital status!

  60. Shurave-70935 April 19, 2011 Reply

    Thank u for sharing this!!!… I will use ur advice…!!!….

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