Which Romantic Blunder Did Your Temperament Trigger?


Which of these romantic blunders are you most likely to make? If you know your temperament, you may be able to guess.


The commando

Are you a can-do choleric?  If you are choleric, you are likely to be blunt, forthright, and take charge. You like to make the plans, call the shots, and have the last word. On your first date, you are charming, quick-witted, and confident.

But you can be too demanding, too intense. The romantic mistake you are likely to make is being too controlling or moving too quickly for your partner. You may want to get a commitment or plan the wedding too soon  or be the one who decides how many kids you will have and where you will live.


The idealist

If you are a melancholic, you are serious, sensitive, and romantic. But your date might not even realize you’re interested in him! You tend to be more aware of your internal feelings than you are capable of conveying them. You tend to under-react or over-react.

You are daydreaming about the wedding, the dress, the honeymoon and the children, but you didn’t catch on that your date just wasn’t that into you.

Melancholics tend to miss the obvious social cues. They either act disinterested (appearing cool and aloof) or they go over the top, making their partner feel awkward. They say “I love you” too soon or they don’t say anything at all.

The melancholic ruminates over every conversation, worries about every unintended glance. The melancholic blunder: living in your dreams, you misread reality.


The butterfly

Sanguines just want to have fun. They can keep this up for a long time. They forget important occasions, don’t return phone calls, and like to keep things light. If you are a sanguine, you are spontaneous and funny, a fun and exciting date.

Although you are generous and demonstrative in the moment, your mercurial temperament can quickly move from hot to cold. You can unintentionally mislead with your charming, flirtatious manner. You bite off more than you can chew and leave a string of failed relationships behind you. Your mistake is under-committing, being eternally playful, always seeking the greener grass.


The good friend

If you are a phlegmatic, you are calm, easy-going, and level-headed. You are the guy (or gal) everyone likes. Never flashy, pushy, or the center of attention, you are humble and selfless. You are faithful, solid, commitment oriented.

Your romantic error is to wait too long, to fail to be assertive when necessary, and thereby miss out on an opportunity to find your true love.



Do any of these romantic blunders ring true for you?

Of course, making mistakes is part of single life (and the human condition). And so often it is through our errors that we learn what we really want, who we really are, and what we ought to do.

As Shakespeare said, “The course of true love never did run smooth.”



  1. Lauren-715653 June 24, 2012 Reply

    I am a sanguine/choleric or a Commanding/Butterfly. I kind of agree to an extent, but they sort of don’t mix because one says always looking for the greener grass (better relationship) and the other wants to jump into commitments and marriage. Maybe this makes me a healthy balance, haha! I am not too sure, I don’t feel like either describe me too well and I have taken the personality test multiple times.

  2. Vhie-763540 November 1, 2011 Reply

    I took the test more than once and I am strong on being a melancholic, but the other half is choleric or phlegmatic. I guess it depends on the situation I am in.

  3. Vhie-763540 November 1, 2011 Reply

    I like this different types of temperament article. It is one useful tool in selecting and choosing who we want to be with.

  4. John-701264 June 15, 2011 Reply

    Loneliness is a universal story, And no matter who we are we all do experience it . It
    even happens in the best relationships. Even Jesus did experience it in the last houra before his cricifiction. And even shortly before dying on the Cross. It takes a real approach. The way I deal with it by means of volunteering. two days a week, Sundays I do minister to a senior group..The rest of the week I do some theological studies. But Prayer, Scripture, Sacraments are also very much part of the healing Process.I hope that my litle contribution does help many of the members.

  5. LillianTeresa-528523 June 14, 2011 Reply

    My Phlegmatic/Sanguine or The “Good Friend/Butterfly” description is accurate. In my past, I was referred to by a friend in ministry as a “Flutter-By”. She was referring to the fact that many of the good contacts (in ministry) that she had recently made were in one way or another brought to her by me… (actually, I believe it was a God thing, but true, none the less). My Sanguine side connected and brought people together.. but I, myself continued to flutter….. meaning, and I concurred with her…. I connected people…. but I never landed… kept fluttering past and not landing.

    I see that, Dawn is also a Phlegmatic/Sanguine or Sanguine/Phlegmatic does this hold true for you also, Dawn? The two types seem opposed to each other…. a good balance or schizophrenic? Either way, I have fun being me.

  6. Oscar-32186 June 5, 2011 Reply

    Accurate descriptions. Indeed we must know ourselves, but what about spotting the traits of the other person? What if you are laid back and the other person wanted a take charge?????

  7. Eric-97921 June 4, 2011 Reply

    The melancholic traits definitely ring true…all of them, actually. I have had to train myself to work a room and to be a bit more in charge and assertive in that arena.

  8. Andy-516957 June 4, 2011 Reply

    As a Labrador/Collie I tend to sniff first and ask questions later.
    I’ll have a walk all planned out, and my date will say no: “I don’t like that kind of food” or ‘That’s too far to go for dinner” or “Aren’t there alligators in these waters?”
    These are big girls, but their sense of adventure is lacking. Where are the real women?

    • Maria-689654 June 9, 2011 Reply

      I am replying to Andy’s question about where are the real women? If I were a man I would be very annoyed with these types of women myself. They have no sense of adventure and fun. They don’t want to leave their comfort zone to experiment or experience anything…boring!
      I am A sanguine/something I a lust for life and living, I tend to embarrass men with my openness, honesty, I am forward about everything, I am not shy at all, and I happen to have much gray matter between my ears too. My blunder…men run from me so outcome—I’m still alone

    • Barb-505508 June 13, 2011 Reply

      In response to Andy’s comment…I am a sanguine/choleric and am always the one shouting pick me, pick me. I want to be in on the action and love new things. I hooked up with a great CM guy about 8 months ago and we are just crazy together. We even burst out into song while driving to and from our little adventures. I love it when life is not dull and orchestrated and I can live in the moment. I hope that when I grow up I can dance and just be a wild and crazy lady. Woo Hoo! Life’s too short!!!!

  9. Stacey-101742 June 2, 2011 Reply

    This is a good article , I think I have been all of these . LOL .. What does that mean ? But mostly I find myself to be the good friend , and can miss moments of connecting to show how I feel , and thats because I am afraid of offending or pushing , i try so hard to respect someone else’s boundaries , I can’t read someone’s mind , so I am cautious , but still enjoy having fun . Dear God , please help me .

  10. Corinna-623958 June 2, 2011 Reply

    I think this blog really nailed it. I’m a melancholic/phlegmatic and I definitely see myself doing what was explained. Daydreaming, underreacting and overreacting, failure to see the signs of which way things are going. There wasn’t much on a phlegmatic so I really can’t say how well I related to that one. Although I must say that, like stated above, I am in no way assertive. I just don’t like to come off as pushy and I don’t want the guy to feel like I’m a control freak or something.

  11. Liliane-677357 June 1, 2011 Reply

    I am a melancholic/ choleric and the descriptions above are right on the point.
    As much as I am learning to know and accept myself, I also can see where I need to improve.
    With God’s grace of course.

  12. Dawn-58330 May 31, 2011 Reply

    As a sanguine/ phlegmatic, I suppose I am a good friend butterfly. I find it interesting how the characteristics of each play against each other. There does seem to be some truth in what was described. I am patient to a fault, don’t like to think of people being uncomfortable with seriousness (though I don’t mind being serious myself. Over my adult years I’ve consciously tried not to be so serious because I felt criticized for that as a teen.) and have a bad habit of not following through on some of the thoughtful ideas I come up with (b-day cards, etc.)

    As far as what to do with this information? I suppose knowledge is power. We try to learn from our own behavior. It’s good to be self-analytical now and again.

  13. Constance-712913 May 30, 2011 Reply

    I enjoyed this! I am definitely a mix of Choleric/ Melancholic. Alternately intense and passionate, then introspective and thoughtful. I love my personality just the way it is, but I’m learning to smooth out the rough edges, and be more outgoing.

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