Why Is It So Hard To Find A Spouse?


“I think it is hard for some but not for others. For people who have social anxiety or difficulty making decisions, who don’t get out enough, are easily discouraged, analytical, particular, or distracted, it is more difficult.”  –Joanne-75060


“I have all of those problems, and on top of that I’m being forced to live in the most ridiculous, masochistic, master-planned community that can be found in every suburban handbook ever created. It’s mid-30s yuppies and their kids and an endless array of BMWs and Mini Coopers. I’m fed up with it and the life of isolation I have to lead here. I’m trying to get out, and have an opportunity to, and I hope to God it works out.”  Thomas-669718


“With all due respect to the Church, if it takes up half of your time or more, you may be single for a long time. When I go to daily Mass or Adoration, I rarely see women under 50.”   –Peter-449116


“It’s definitely harder for those of us with any kind of moral fiber to live in this society; there aren’t a lot of us [chaste singles] left out there and the majority of people won’t tolerate our morals.”  –Lindsey-297821


“If it were easy to find a life partner there wouldn’t be sites like these. Know there’s someone out there you’re looking for that’s looking for you.”  –Tom-432657


“God’s gift is love and joy and He will provide the right moment – just be patient and enjoy each day as His gift.”  –Mary-25961


“I know some time we get frustrated, but it’s a lesson the Lord wants me to learn: patience, humility and most of all to see that I’m not the only one.”  —Alberto-546988


“Everything happens in His time, not ours. Keep praying and searching. Trust in His Will for you.”  —Maia-181886


“I’ve heard it said that when you stop looking it’s when that special person will come to your life.”  –Helga-734689



  1. Kathy-762678 November 14, 2011 Reply

    I would rather have my feelings nicked,then spend my life with a cartoon. lol

    • Kathy-762678 November 14, 2011 Reply

      Also,some men are wanting your networth on the first date….in dollars not sense.

  2. Teresa-466973 August 7, 2011 Reply

    I agree with the above comments. It is also difficult when so many have not had their marriage annulled.

  3. Paul-743819 August 7, 2011 Reply

    I’ve heard it said, “In God’s time.” I’ve left the match-making to my Blessed Mother, so if it be God’s will for me to have a vocation of love with a future spouse it will happen in God’s time. I just have to be patient and ready to notice the gift if Our Lady should send that special someone my way, if not, I have the most beautiful, chaste, and perfect woman in Our Lady. Maybe people need to pray more and not rely too much on their own efforts, but putting oneself out there on a site like this can be a good way in cooperating with God’s will.

  4. John-476896 August 6, 2011 Reply

    It’s a consumer society where people shop for the best deal on everything, fix nothing, and expect instant gratification. I think that mentality has spilled over into our relationships and it’s not a good thing. At the first sign of imperfection, disagreement or a bad hair day…people are gone.

  5. Mari-611004 August 6, 2011 Reply

    To Michelle521874 & Peter449116, you both have same comment concerning about rarely or almost not seeing men & women at mass & adoration younger or below 50.

    Given that observation, I still hope for the best.

    Whenever I encounter the question why it’s so hard to find a spouse, I do question myself.

    Maybe I’m one of those who are socially anxious; or maybe I’m shy; or maybe it’s not yet my time; or maybe I’m impatient; maybe I’m so ambitious about the kind of spouse that I’m looking for, to the point that it’s way, way far from reality already; or maybe I don’t know…

    I’m hoping for the best of everybody here too, not just myself.

    Have hope, have fun and have a nice weekend everyone!

  6. Eve-112836 August 5, 2011 Reply

    I agree with Lianna. I used to be told that I came across as standoffish. It’s very frustrating wait on the Lord to provide. Unfortunately this wait often causes people to be bitter, resentful, and all sorts of other negative things. In the end what it boils down to is that we human don’t believe that God truly has our best interest at heart. I used to say, God created the world out of nothing it is well within His power to bring the right person into my path. He did just that but it happened after I began working on breaking down all the wall that I had built up. If I hadn’t then I would have never let, my now fiancé, in. Starting a relationship is scary and if you’re already wounded then starting anything can be down right impossible.

  7. Timothy-238149 August 3, 2011 Reply

    I have been single since 2001 and for some reason I have seen friends of mine get divorced and have since remarried… I seem to have a hard time dating as well, I sometimes think that there is something unforeseen that may be wrong with me…I can’t get past a date or 2 with anyone..I have come to the conclusion that it may not be my time to have anyone other than my 13 year old son in my life at the moment..I lose hope sometimes that I may grow old and alone..It is truly frustrating! I can be happy with myself, but want to share my life with someone else..

  8. Jason-517169 August 3, 2011 Reply

    “Why Is It So Hard To Find A Spouse?” This is a funny question. Here are some funny answers: 1. It isn’t. Just lower your standards. What could go wrong? 2. You find spouses everywhere. Your married friends have them already… just not yours. 3. Catholic Match needs the renewals. They don’t want to hand the spouses out too early. 🙂 A little humor makes the journey a little easier. Chin up!

  9. Stacey-101742 August 2, 2011 Reply

    I appreciate the topic , and all the comments , but I have been single since 1995 . Its getting real old. I just recently was talking to someone online on Catholic Match and we had awesome conversations , laughs , shared same values , liked one another , but lived 2 hours apart for one , but that at first didn’t seem to bother him , then I asked him , did you really read my profile , and he had glanced at it but did not really read it , since that time , he hasn’t talked to me . What gives ???? I have gotten so many compliments on my profile , and I put the effort in to making a honest , up to date but also wanted to include the things in my life , at this point , it sometimes just feel ridiculus an discouraging
    but I am a hopeless romantic .

  10. Lianna-242197 August 2, 2011 Reply

    I think it’s easy to put the blame on others (society, circumstances, God) but much harder to look into ourselves to see how we have brought ourselves to this point. Blaming others or our circumstances is the easy way out, it’s much harder to be truly honest with ourselves and to examine our behaviors, attitudes and thoughts. Perhaps our pessimism and negative attitude has turned others off; perhaps our shyness and fear of getting hurt has kept us from being open to new experiences and new people; perhaps we place our standards before the people we meet and we fault-find until no one can match up. This is not to say that it is 100% our fault, but it is the only thing we have the power to change and we can’t change it if we aren’t honest about it.

  11. Michelle-521874 August 2, 2011 Reply

    so true….to find a real man is hard today….I can say the same thing about adoration and even mass…you almost never see a man that is younger than 50.
    Women dress like prostitutes to church and men…well they are still boys and are not there at all. I dont know any man who wants marriage these days. Everything is a quick fix. The only thing that puts a smile on my face is this….God spoke our world into existance, became man and died and rose again from the dead…surely this Great God has a husband for me me somewhere in the world of over 6 billion people!

Post a comment