Learning The New CatholicMatch Communication System


We’re excited to unveil CatholicMatch’s new communications features, which will enable users to better manage their conversations with others on the site.

Although there are a number of communications tools, such as messages, emotigrams, chats and interview questions, the new system allows all types to be managed under a single conversation with another user. Rather than having to look in multiple inboxes to check on different forms of communication, you will be able to view everything collapsed into one place according to each user.

Your CatholicMatch communication is separated into an Inbox and an Archive. The Inbox contains all of the conversations that you are currently engaged in and can be found on the top menu navigation. Conversations that you have lost interest in or would like to have out of site can be moved to the Archive. A link to the Archive is found on the top left of the Inbox.

Within your CatholicMatch inbox you will have two tabs to manage the conversations: Active and Inactive. Under the Inactive tab you will be able to view all archived and closed conversations.


The Inbox

The Inbox contains all conversations, and within each you will be able to view each message received and sent. Conversations that have a new message in it will be highlighted in blue and show a red indicator showing the number of unread messages.

You will be able to sort all your conversations by the following:

  • Most Recent is the default sort and will show conversations simply in the order of the last message received.
  • My Turn lists first all conversations where the other person is waiting on you to respond, marking it as your turn to respond. These communications are items that you need to act upon by either replying, archiving or closing. Once you act upon a message then the whole conversation will be either Their Turn or moved to the Archive, based on the action you chose.
  • Their Turn sort is ordered first by all conversations in which you send the last message. It will have the status of “waiting on his/her reply” until acted upon by the recipient. This sort will allow you to see which users have not acted on your communication or if they have decided to no longer communicate. If they close communication you will no longer be able to contact that person. However, that allows you to concentrate your efforts on those who are most interested in communicating.
  • Unread Messages lists first any conversations that have messages that you haven’t opened yet.
  • Name sorts by first name.


The Archive

Contained in the Archive are conversations that are expiring. Typically a conversation in the Archive can have more messages added to the conversation, which moves it back to the Inbox. If you do not wish to be able to continue the conversation, you can also Close the conversation, which puts it in the Archive and does not allow further messages. The available order for the Archive include these additional options:

  • The Archived sort is ordered first by all conversations you chose to move out of the Inbox in the order of the last message but are not closed. Remember, archiving the communication allows the other user to continue the conversation.
  • The Closed sort is ordered first by all conversations you have closed. Closed communication means you no longer wish to communicate with that person and you do not want him or her to contact you in the future.

Keeping it Clean

From the Inbox, it is easy to Archive conversations. Simply hover your mouse (or finger) over the conversation and click on the waste bin icon that appears. Some conversations will automatically be Archived based on certain criteria, such as the other person closing the conversation, removing their account, or having their account removed. To close a conversation, open it and click the “Close” button at the top of the page. This will move it to Archived and prevent any further communication.


The End of the Road

Conversations that have not had any activity for six months will be removed at the beginning of each month. Two weeks before this happens, anyone who has conversations to be removed will receive an email informing them of this. If you would like to continue the conversation you can send another message, or you can forward the conversation to your personal email account.



  1. Michelle-383906 January 2, 2016 Reply

    The delete option is missed. Even Facebook has that option.
    The Archives just make a mess of unwanted or un needed info.
    The only Archives for safety should be done by the CM staff.
    God bless you all!

  2. JuliA-811872 June 3, 2012 Reply


  3. Charles-854154 May 28, 2012 Reply

    No Person from CM is willing to answer questions.
    Can’t a link with whomsoever collects member fees
    be developed? What’s wrong with these people?
    When one accident closes, communications cease.
    I know not how to correct this and I seem to have
    not a single soul with whom I can speak about this!
    Please don’t ask me to renew membership!

  4. Josephine-763837 May 22, 2012 Reply

    Sorry …but this is”nt good.You””re selfish!So sorry,that I can”t even reply to guys who just greet me “hi” & ” hello” because of this UNLIMITED characters?BIG WHY???HELP US PLEASE.I WON”t renew here anymore,although I”m new here…so DISGUSTING!!!

  5. Alexander-220654 May 12, 2012 Reply

    The american women on this site are so worthless that I want to know how to seach women in other countries.

  6. Mildred-790489 May 10, 2012 Reply

    I am confused on why things had to be changed. I also do not like the limited messages one can send. I have to go to the internet to receive any notifications that someone has messaged me or just viewed me. I will NOT be renewing my contract. Mildred790489

  7. Sarilunita-831529 May 9, 2012 Reply

    I dont know what you mean. I dont know what kind /type of communication accept by CM.

  8. Joya-851913 May 9, 2012 Reply

    How do I reopen my conversation to communicate that I prefer?

  9. Michael-692806 May 8, 2012 Reply

    This site is an awful lot better than any other I’ve used; there are a much higher percentage of members that are knowledgeable practicing catholics. The system needed to be updated with new functionality. The old matching system was very very inaccurate. I think the new one (which I have completed although about 20% of the questions have answers that dont make any sense) will be a lot better. As for not getting a lot of replies; I think this is because some members put very little effort into completing their profile; half the sections not completed and no photographs (a picture paints a 1000 words). Its like most other things in life; fail to prepare then prepare to fail.

  10. Rachel-298853 April 25, 2012 Reply

    I had been away and just recently renew my account. Surprised to see changes. Don’t like them!

  11. Maxelinda-757130 April 22, 2012 Reply

    Everyone lives so far away. Wish I would not have joined but guess I am stuck with it until three months pass. Wish I could delete all correspondence that I have had but that does not seem to be a good option. We can delete e-mail with no problem but just a click to delete these messages isn’t that simple.

  12. Bob-795432 April 19, 2012 Reply

    Little disappointed at not being able to re-visit a potential match because of too many efforts. Your rules make it impossible to send a real message because I sent too many smiles without a reply.
    I could be wrong but, I believe she left match but has since returned.

  13. Sylvia-788561 April 16, 2012 Reply

    how do you text somebody while they are on line pls help

  14. Becca-711241 March 23, 2012 Reply

    I like the new sytem…it’s more up to date,like Eharmony. But I am new to this site so wasn’t used to any way. Sometimes change is good…it strengthens our patience and minds! B+

  15. Emily-811501 March 20, 2012 Reply

    I do hope there’s also a way to have free chats!

  16. Maria-835771 March 17, 2012 Reply

    Hi, I just officially joined two days ago, because I was not able to chat. Are there any single gentlemen out there?

  17. JuliA-811872 March 8, 2012 Reply

    I wane to Lerner more how to be

  18. Ann-472346 March 7, 2012 Reply

    Has anyone figured out how to delete messages?

  19. Audra-804267 February 28, 2012 Reply

    Howdy! How is everyone?

  20. Bill-816836 February 27, 2012 Reply

    yes, but how do we close out someone who viewed us and we are not interested?
    how do we close a conversation?

    • Becca-711241 March 23, 2012 Reply

      To close a conversation you must first click on VIEW under Conversations and then choose ARCHIVE (to read later) or CLOSE (to end conversations). They will then be under INACTIVE conversations.

  21. JuliA-811872 February 25, 2012 Reply

    .hello to meet you

  22. John-622425 February 24, 2012 Reply

    I don’t like the new cahnges. Leave well enough alone. I agree with Jacqueline-198, “IF IT AIN’T BROKE, DON’T FIX IT!

  23. Diana-828575 February 21, 2012 Reply

    I am a new member and I think this way on having a dating site set up is very confusing…..the newest ways are not always the best….just my opinion……I so wanted this to be a fun and exciting way to meet new people instead….I’m irritated and stressed.

  24. Benilda-798738 February 21, 2012 Reply

    Really I don’t understand this most recent , my turn to respond ,your turn to respond etc.
    what is this really and when do you click this…

  25. Benilda-798738 February 21, 2012 Reply

    Reading all the comment about this new system I got so confused because no one ever response to me
    on my simple question.

  26. Diana-828575 February 21, 2012 Reply

    This is my first timeon any dating site and I am confused already…I am trying to have a conversation with this really HOT guy and I don’t think I’m contacting him…I’m so sad. CIAO

  27. Sandra-793711 February 21, 2012 Reply

    Why do these “gentlemen” never respond even after weeks since a message was sent? They don’t even bother to say “not interested”.

    • Becca-711241 March 23, 2012 Reply

      A gentleman friend of mine said that he sometimes doesn’t responf if the lady doesn’t have a picture posted. Smile and your inner beauty will shine along with that gorgeous exterior!

  28. John-731321 February 14, 2012 Reply

    I am old…I don’t like changes…..I don’t like “new and improved.” It is new….but not always improved.

  29. Mary-821320 February 13, 2012 Reply

    How do I chat? He asked me to chat and I said yes. Now I don’t know what to do next. I asked him to chat and Iam waiting for a reply. Is that the problem?

    • Natalie-824977 February 19, 2012 Reply

      I am having a problem trying to use the “chat” option also..the help says to click on the bubble in the mini profile but I don’t see it?? Oh! well,hopefully some one hears our concerns and can help us.I am a brand new member and I don’t know the “old” way and change is always hard.Hang in there everyone.Take care.

  30. Margarita-688448 February 8, 2012 Reply

    Wish I could chat with someone without having to pay membership fees.

  31. Steve-810017 February 5, 2012 Reply

    Flying in the dark here

  32. Elaine-607083 February 4, 2012 Reply

    i dont know but iam hanging on .LOL;}

  33. Brenda-820782 January 31, 2012 Reply

    So you have to PAY and JOIN to reply to someone’s emotigrams? Bummer…

  34. Irene-246323 January 30, 2012 Reply

    Without having read the instructions someone might click on “close” thinking they are only closing the thread to go back to the previous screen, when in fact they are unintentionally blocking a person that they still want to communicate with from sending them anymore messages. This is pretty sad!

    • Charles-854154 May 28, 2012 Reply

      Your proposed scenario is exactly what just
      happened to me & I do not know how to recover.
      I tried to write her as follows:
      ” I just now pushed a button incorrectly which closed
      communications with you etc etc. CM would not send my
      Note to her. What a crappy site this has become for me!

    • Charles-854154 May 28, 2012 Reply

      Your proposed scenario is exactly what just
      happened to me & I do not know how to recover.
      I tried to write her as follows:
      ” I just now pushed a button incorrectly which closed
      communications with you etc etc. CM would not send my
      Note to her. What a crappy site this has become for me!

  35. Patricia-814070 January 21, 2012 Reply

    On the first page of creating my profile it gives ages of men in whom I might be interested in contacting. On two occasions I’ve put 60-70. Many of the 100% matches are over 70. How do I rectify that reading?

  36. Sergio-816453 January 21, 2012 Reply


  37. Anonymous January 20, 2012 Reply

    I don’t like this system in which you have everything all at once, like putting a hamburger together and you don’t won’t onions on it. I like the old system and the different categories better because it was simple to use and understand, then this new jargon system.

  38. Jean-735774 January 19, 2012 Reply

    I like the old system much better.. 🙁

    • Anne-130524 February 1, 2012 Reply

      I agree with the many that expressed that they didn’t like the new system because the one we used to have was much simpler for all the reasons others have already stated. Apparently I hadn’t been on the site for a few months so having this so called “new and improved” communication system condensed into a “conversation” under the option of “inbox”….I found very confusing!!! Suffice it to say that I like to older system better and I don’t think I will renew my membership as it’s better to communicate using one’s outside email addy combined with phone visits. Anne

  39. Darlene-802718 January 18, 2012 Reply

    Okay, I finally found someone I wanted to send a message to and you CHANGE IT??? Can you say, “What were you thinking??” I agree, if it’s not broke, don’t fix it. I don’t have time to do this before work anymore….. : (

  40. Mark-354094 January 18, 2012 Reply

    I don’t like the changes either. I used to be able to see who I’ve viewed. Now I can’t. So after a while I may view again someone that I previously viewed and decided they weren’t for me. It’s a waste of time that I don’t have.

    Please change it back the way it was.


  41. John-385299 January 16, 2012 Reply

    How does one track exchanged emotigrams?????
    I much prefer the “Old” system…don’t think anything has been gained with these changes.

  42. Sharon-795865 January 16, 2012 Reply

    Ok…I am on the Threads!! Yeah!!! however, I am not so sure this is the easiest way to communicate with one person. Is what we say going out to everyone on the site?
    And how do I put a happy face on my page here?

  43. Richard-517673 January 15, 2012 Reply

    How can I delete a message that I sent a month or so ago with no response from the member?

  44. Christopher-570488 January 15, 2012 Reply

    Why can’t I delete messages now?????????????

  45. Shannon-540689 January 13, 2012 Reply

    I haven’t been a paid member for about 6 months, but was wondering where all my old messages went? Were they deleted when the system changed?

  46. Marie-449381 January 12, 2012 Reply

    KISS….. we rarely communicate, why make it complicated.

  47. Marie-449381 January 12, 2012 Reply

    KISS. Just allow members to communicate.

  48. Steve-794624 January 11, 2012 Reply

    How do I send a message longer than an Emot? This “new system”.. doesn’t seem to allow for a conversation??? Steve

  49. Dee-576521 January 9, 2012 Reply

    What does the (number here) mean.

  50. Carol-709269 January 4, 2012 Reply

    When I use the reply box (Read & Reply), I’m only allowed to put in a little less than 100 characters or 2 short sentences and It will not allow any further characters. This has happened every time I try to use it so I go back to “message me ” on the profile page. I don’t think it is my computer.

  51. Joan-388902 January 2, 2012 Reply

    As a CM member of 3 yrs, I’ve been satisfied yet, yr current new format is a major disappointment. I plan to cancel if the old system is not reimplemented asap. With respect, Joan_

  52. Mark-340915 January 2, 2012 Reply

    Hi CM, You could have a system that allows all the CM members to opt in or out of the new beta system, perhaps? You could enable, a change to the new system for those who want this, or an option to continue with the older message system, that was certainly much clearer and easier to use than now. The new CM Communication system is very geeky and not ideal for those who are not that used to computer beta-like systems. I was personally very happy with the earlier system that was to me much clearer and quicker to use. This new system is pretty time demanding and time consuming to grasp and to use, and I use computers all the time for my work! Particularly, to be very certain that the correct message has been replied to. I also want to have the system of sending to my email all incoming messages directly, i.e: a message forward system, so that I can see who has actually sent me a message as soon as possible. This is very important for people busy schedules and those who are rushed to read and reply their email messages. Thank you reading this, and I hope that the option for those who want the earlier system can be made possible for them. Happy New Year 🙂 Mark

  53. Mark-581089 January 2, 2012 Reply

    How do you delete??? What happened???

  54. Raymond-412093 December 29, 2011 Reply

    All I see are complaints. Has anyone heard from CM with a resolution to their concerns? It’s like CM is being run by a robot. AHHHH!

  55. Anna-635092 December 29, 2011 Reply

    Am giving the new CM communication system having just reviewed it briefly. Time will tell how it suits me. ( Patience is a virtue of the angles)

  56. Anna-635092 December 29, 2011 Reply

    I believe I understand the new communication method having just read it above. -Will find out when I givve it a try, right?

    • Anna-635092 December 29, 2011 Reply

      To Raymond 412093 —
      Perhaps she was overwhelmed. You continue to go with your inner-Spirit, It takes all kinds to made the world go ’round – (they say.)

      • Paul-359514 December 30, 2011 Reply

        Hi Anna – I think you intended your comment for me (Paul – 359514). I just wanted to say, “thank you”. This particular woman, may have been “overwhelmed”, as you say. Whatever. I am 45 years old and I really don’t have the time or patience. The sooner I get this irritating search over with and meet my match, the better off I will be. God Bless!!

        • Marian-83994 January 23, 2012 Reply

          This search is irritating, Paul, I agree. We do not need it to be made more difficult, humiliating or more irritating. The old way was far more user friendly.

  57. Maryjane-408997 December 28, 2011 Reply

    Catholic Match is the best site ever. It offers so much to it’s members. However, the male members 60 and over leave alot to be desired. Hopefully, they will re-invent themselves and present a fine example of a Catholic male.

  58. Cheryl-767099 December 28, 2011 Reply

    I thought that the other system was much clearer and easier to use. I still haven’t figured out how to delete unless it is closed.

  59. Paul-359514 December 28, 2011 Reply

    I have concerns, pertaining to the, “Closed”, option. I recently sent a sincere, “Thank You”, message to a woman who viewed my profile. I then proceeded to politely and respectfully introduce myself, in addition to offering a very generous compliment, on her career success. For my reward, she immediately, “closed / blocked”, all future communication right out the gate, with no explanation, whatsoever. This kind of abrupt reaction, seems very cold and rude to me. I understand that people have an array of experiences and perspectives but is a small token of gracious appreciation, too much to ask?

    • Marian-83994 January 23, 2012 Reply

      I think that the woman was rude to you. I think that this ability to block on a whim is going to cause the morale of many people to drop far lower than it may have already sank. Not only is this a problem caused by the ability to block on a whim but the fact that if one does not get back on and answer before there are three attempts, then one is automatically blocked. Who dreamed this up? The average user does not need to be feeling compelled to respond at the threat of a closed communication. That is ridiculous. Some people take a while to respond or won’t respond at all. I maintain that no response is a softer send off than a closed communication or being blocked.

  60. Vanessa-749247 December 28, 2011 Reply

    I dont understand this thing :/

    • Eric-856761 May 12, 2012 Reply

      >:\ >:/ :-/ :-. :/ :\ =/ =\ :S Skeptical, annoyed, undecided, uneasy, hesitan

  61. Marianne-668874 December 27, 2011 Reply

    I think the new system is horrible as well. I can’t seem to send a message to someone with whom I want to “respond”. I thought I sent two messages which apparently didn’t get sent. Why make everything so much harder?

  62. Daniel-634934 December 27, 2011 Reply

    The more options tab gets hidden behind that last message. This is an improvement?

  63. Sandra-371325 December 27, 2011 Reply

    this is so bad I want to get off now

  64. Kimmy-792673 December 27, 2011 Reply

    I am liking this new format! If you want to send out more than 180 characters, all you have to do is click on Message (since it is set to the Emotigram automatically). Have a great day!

    • Dirk-631502 December 30, 2011 Reply

      I find that I am unable to send long messages using the Message option. I suspect a limit has been imposed on messages, as well and not just to emotigrams. I will try again. Maybe it’s just a glitch. The new system is designed to consolidate all communications into a single place. Yes, it is a little disorienting at first. It took me a couple evenings to study how the system works and where all the old messages went. Maybe the best approach is to try it out for a couple months, and then provide constructive feedback.

  65. Tom-639917 December 25, 2011 Reply

    I want to delete old communications. How do I do that?

  66. Mary-755567 December 24, 2011 Reply

    I love your boats

  67. Sara-584205 December 23, 2011 Reply

    I find the new system confusing, and it was introduced very suddenly. I accidentally closed out a friend and had to figure out how to reopen my conversation with him. I thought the old system was fine. Where do you go to now to send a message that is more than a brief 180-word blurb?

  68. Raymond-412093 December 23, 2011 Reply

    I don’t like the new system at all!!! Where are all my SAVED messages? Why, when I type a message, does it cut my word count? I was just informed that you have recently with-drew a payment from my savings. i won’t be renewing again, that’s for sure.

    • Carol-545286 March 26, 2012 Reply

      When I use Emotions it will only take 180 characters and then stops me from writing more. Why? This does not give enough space for messages.

  69. Thomas-779429 December 23, 2011 Reply

    I liked the former/older manner of communicating. This one is not preferred.

  70. Glen-407575 December 22, 2011 Reply

    I do not like the new system. I do not think that I am going to renew. Why oh why did they ruin such a nice service. 🙁

  71. Stefann-768217 December 21, 2011 Reply

    The old system should continue. I like the old system and the new one also is good… except the ‘Closed Archive’ which is not in the spirit of Christ. When one shuns another, it hurts! When a person ignores messages, chat invitation it automatically discourage the other person but it does not hurt his or her ego ..

    • Kenneth-524863 December 21, 2011 Reply

      I do not see how the close is any different than the old hide. Besides it is your choice to use it and it gives people the option to remove someone who won’t leave them alone after being told to. (which is also not very Christ like)

  72. Mari-611004 December 21, 2011 Reply

    What I like about this new system is that it would allow you to know firsthand what the message is all about. Like for example the message is about a birthday greeting; or an answer to the interview questions; or an emotigram with a private message, etc.. It might take a while to get used to it, but hopefully CMers will.

    • Raymond-412093 December 23, 2011 Reply

      You apparently work for CM

      • Susan-635047 December 27, 2011 Reply

        Ha! Very true, Raymond. Pray this comment lands where it should, considering the “new” system, which is horrible. Was it modeled after some other site or did CM come up with this all by their bored, little selves?

      • Jan-809009 April 21, 2012 Reply

        Hi Raymond, there are so many similar sites, I think I may have joined the wrong one. This system does seem confusing

    • Don-796929 December 26, 2011 Reply

      I click on Favorites Online. Next, I click on the tab. Choose who I want to chat with. Clicked on: chat with me.
      It says the chat with ********** already been initialized. Please check the statue bar.

      I click O.K. Your chat invitation has been sent to *******. You may continue browsing and
      you will be notified when they respond. How LONG does it take, when the invitation
      Has already been initialized. CONFUSED and ANGRY. This really SUCKS.

  73. Cari-789634 December 20, 2011 Reply

    ok my friends (JQ, Dom), don’t shoot me, LOL, but….. i rather like the new system. i hated having to go from ‘inbox’ to ‘sent’ and between ’emotigram’ & ‘message’ constantly, to see an entire conversation. i also like being able to permanently ‘close’ a conversation from an unwanted – BUT on that note, what if you accidentally close on a friend and don’t realize it????

    • Stefann-768217 December 21, 2011 Reply

      Cari: Yes, ” what if you accidentally close on a friend and don’t realize it????” True. It may happen. Can I retrieve?

  74. Mariela-617411 December 20, 2011 Reply

    I disagree with this new system is very confusing, I would like still see who I sent a emotigram and who sent me and also see if that person is online, just like “who’s viewed me”.
    What was wrong with the previous system of messages?

    It is my opinion with all due respect.

  75. Jacqueline-198 December 20, 2011 Reply

    Ok, this is just me but…IF IT AIN’T BROKE, WHY FIX IT?! This old timer has gone through a lot of changes with the site and basically it’s improved more and more, but this time…WHY?! OH WHY?! just saying!! 🙂

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