37-Year-Old Virgin: ‘Knowing God Is Better Than Sex’


Congratulations to John Zielinski, a 37-year-old CatholicMatch member who is the subject of an in-depth profile about cherishing his virginity in today’s Daily Herald. Here’s an excerpt from Burt Constable’s column: 

He understands that society doesn’t necessarily share his view on the importance of virginity. Even the same people who preach about the need for a high school freshman girl to keep her virginity often conclude that a man who hasn’t had sex with a woman by age 37 is either gay, asexual, a pedophile or plain-old weird.

“I’m not naive,” says Zielinski, who played college baseball, still plays for a semipro team in Addison and acknowledges that he’s been teased, ridiculed and called names because he hasn’t had sex.

“They’ll say, ‘You’re a loser,’” Zielinski says, recalling one critic who had been married five times. “I don’t know, to see people constantly hooking up, who’s the real loser? You’re not really being a real man.”

Constable goes on to write:

Zielinski, who says he has had only a few dates in his life and is now looking for a partner on CatholicMatch.com, acknowledges that he didn’t really have a chance to lose his virginity in high school or college when many of his peers had sex. He wasn’t a stud athlete and he had bad skin, he says.

“In the end, not being a chick magnet is a blessing in disguise,” says Zielinski, who adds that he might not have had the strength and maturity to resist temptation then. “Should I ever get married, I want my bride to know, regardless of where she was, I was waiting for her and her alone. I want to give myself to her as a gift that no one else could have.”

“There are plenty of virgins in hell and plenty of prostitutes in heaven,” says Zielinski, who adds that he’ll be a contented 90-year-old virgin if that’s where his life takes him.

“I just want to do what (God’s) will is,” Zielinski concludes. “Knowing God is better than sex.”

Leave a comment to offer your support to John (and ladies, check out his profile here).



  1. Michael-311356 March 16, 2014 Reply

    this is more like a 47 year virgin i am a 47 years old 47 please i dont know why that God would make men like us have to not have some one hi yes i do think that to when i was your age i had the same felling s about being a virgin
    at that age . and know ten long years later .i keep saying the same thing to my self.
    and every day wake up and have to tell my self this over and over again. iam makeing myself ill .as i see happy cuoples with hands held tight kissing and making it in front of me .say to myself i know its all in your time .i know you will send me a soulmate.or a least tell me shes coming soon
    today like everother sunday i offerd my rosary for my soulmate .
    my so called friends say they praying for me for a someone to love .All i am asking is that iam not still on the sight as a 57 year old virgin like my councler said get used to it being happy where i am at i am not its not right that men like us have not and there are women geting married to other women thats all i have to say about this Mike from Buena Vista co.smalltown usa

  2. Leta-703485 November 24, 2012 Reply

    Purity is one of the best virtues ever. We are very blessed for mastering and maintaining this wonderful gift.

  3. Alejandro-159799 September 20, 2012 Reply

    Our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit so we have to stay chaste always. Chastity in marriage and chastity being singles. Sexuality is a beautiful gift from God All Mighty but the media has stainned it with lust, and sinful acts. Until I discovered CatholicMatch I really thought that virgin women didnt exist anymore. If you have strong Catholic beliefs my advice is to date and marry a catholic person. I remember long time ago, discussing with a girlfriend (non catholic) about chastity and she couldnt understand why we couldnt have sex if everyone was doing it. At some level I have more in common with any catholic girl, no matter the country or language she speaks than with a girl of my own country. I havent gone further in Catholic Match because right now Im struggling with my finances and I know that is my responsability as a man in a family. I want to thank you to all catholic girls in Catholic Match, specially to the virgin ones, you truly are a beautiful gift from God

  4. Heidi-344460 August 21, 2012 Reply

    I was happy to read your story, John, and as a 32 year old virgin, it’s nice to see that there are fine gentlemen out there like you, who share in my morals and values. It isn’t easy, but we must stay strong and classy. May we live for God and not others!

  5. Felia-883728 July 31, 2012 Reply

    chastity is a virtue that will make you fly to God like an angel. You are blessed!

  6. Barigye-848247 May 30, 2012 Reply

    Oh my Jesus, am so grateful to have come across these articles (John’s, Carole’s & Tom’s)- Just having made 22 a couple of months ago, I almost gave up but was still confused of what life is for one sexing and one with out. Surely, i wouldn’t like to loose the battle but rather wait till marriage. It is hard though. May God strengthen us all. Stories of a kind strengthen us to. Thanks John.

  7. Freddie-714102 May 25, 2012 Reply

    God bless you for having the discipline and the courage to keep His Commandments. Thanks for the example. It’s what our grandparents did, for the most part, until they got married. I spent last night in Arlington, VA with some friends, and I’ll tell you, such a collection of shallowness and hook-up culture. It’s sad, because lots of these people mean well, and regardless they’re ALL God’s children, but the problems they cause themselves, and the way in which they jade their emotions and toughen their hearts is really quite sad.

    Best of luck pal. She’s out there somewhere!!!

  8. Maria-833789 March 3, 2012 Reply

    May the holy spirit will always be you and strengthen your faith of not having sex before marriage. God bless you brother

  9. Annie-684013 March 2, 2012 Reply

    If they only knew what they were missing…! Thanks for being an amazing witness.

  10. Brianna-804266 March 1, 2012 Reply

    I love when a guy can wait till marriage. Guys today don’t know what waiting till marriage means anymore. Its just countless hookups and seeing how many girls they can get in their bed a night. Every guy should be like you

  11. Benia-705927 March 1, 2012 Reply

    HU-WOW!!! Amen! Praise God!

  12. Mark-269662 February 29, 2012 Reply

    You should go out and get a piece of ass ASAP – ONLY KIDDING – lol. I wish I would have made the same decision. If I did not have sex before marraige I probably would not have failed in my marraige. By not following Gods rules it has cost me alot. God gave me the strength to get through it. We will all find out that Gods rules are the only way to live. For me I found out the hard way.

  13. Meesch-691047 February 25, 2012 Reply

    Knowing God is the best!

  14. Sylvia-810123 February 25, 2012 Reply

    what a great witness for all of us who wait to be the gift God made us to be!

  15. Jim-397948 February 23, 2012 Reply

    The power is with you….God Bless

  16. Melinda-598916 February 21, 2012 Reply

    What a model of an authentic masculine man!!! I am truly impressed! John is a beautiful man of such virtues as discipline, integrity, and obedience to our Lord!! St. Joseph, intercede for him!

  17. Iveth-708220 February 20, 2012 Reply

    sorry for my English, it is Sign not sing 🙂

  18. Iveth-708220 February 20, 2012 Reply

    John dont give up!!!! in this side of the world a catholic who is compromised with God in soul and body are no killed, but has to stand vilification…. There is a saying “Si los perros ladran es señal de que avanzamos” if the dogs barks it is a sing of we are moving forward!!!!. (From Miguel de Cervantes Don Quijote de la Mancha book)

    When you decide firmly to lead a clean life, chastity will not be a burden on you: it will be a crown of triumph.” — St. Josemaria Escriva

    God Bless you!!!

  19. Stacey-101742 February 20, 2012 Reply

    What is sad is that , Catholics , many of them have lost the value of waiting and making that sacrifice for God and that is does produce fruit in ones life and in others and/or their prayers .
    Our vocation is to God first . Not to ourselves . When that vocation changes being single to married life , one has spent all that time being selfless, putting God first so that in marriage you put your spouse second to God , its a Sacrament .. not just a marriage or civil union but one designed by God who is the Author of our lives . Who would know best but God .

  20. Carole-11018 February 20, 2012 Reply

    Oh John! I love your testimony! It’s precious; virginity is a gift far greater than pearls or even gold, so hold on tight to it (until, of course, you find that special lady love to give it to on your wedding night!) It’s really sad and rather disturbing how the world doesn’t esteem virginity anymore, the way God does! He deeply cherishes this precious virtue! I’m a 52 year old virgin (as God is my witness!); so if I can hold out this long, so can you! 🙂 I just keep asking Jesus to help me grow into being a more virtuous woman, if only for HIM and HIM ALONE! There’s much consolation in trusting HIM with that, and not what the world expects or disapproves of!

    • Tom-839995 March 23, 2012 Reply

      Hi Carole, I have to tell you that I too am a 52 year old virgin. When I was younger my faith was not as strong as it is today but I must say in my earlier years it must have been GOD watching out for me and helping along in my tough growing up years. Even in the service it was more tougher but for some reason I still had a feeling inside that said it was not right. Recently, the reason really for this reply, I finally went out with a gal whom my sister had been trying to set me up with for a long time. I had not been out on a date in a long time but I was confortable with this date and things went good, too good for me as of course I fell too quick for this gal. I even invited her down to Houston with me to visit some of my really nice friends and she came. I had no idea what would happen but I did feel I just wanted her to come to get to know her more despite what other people would think. Got to tell you I couldn’t tell you what she was thinking! The trip was strange even before we left but I think we had fun and it was interesting for me needless to say! Long story short, she dumped me shortly after we got back, said she needed more “me” time. Anyways, one day I was talking with my sister about it and she had been trying to talk to her about it and sadly they are not as good of friends anymore. But one of things my sister said to me was, “I wish you would have f@#$*d her!” And I thought right away to myself, “I’m glad I didn’t!” Guess I just don’t understand why people use sex as a reason to have a good time! I always thought I was the last one on this earth this way and quite frankly I did not care anymore how they felt about me. I only know GOD must have a plan for me someday and I absolutely CAN wait for the right gal who will respect me and love me for who I am. I only hope some day that you too will find the right guy and I know GOD is very proud of you! God Bless You in your path to seek love and a lasting relationship!

  21. Victoria-784206 February 20, 2012 Reply

    🙂 These kind of stories always brings a smile to my face! Knowing that I am not the only one ‘waiting/saving’ for the right one! Reminds me of a speaker who once said (to a room full of teenagers), “when they tease you that you are virgin and they are not. Look them straight in the eye and say, ‘Any day I can choose to be just like you, BUT you can never be like me!”
    I love the last quote Zielinski said, “Knowing God is better than sex” 😀 GOD BLESS!!!!

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