Why Aren’t I Receiving More Responses?


Solange-329233, a brunette from Rochester, N.Y., recently confessed that she’s  discouraged by the lack of responses to her emails and emotigrams. She asked her fellow CatholicMatch members for their thoughts on the situation. Here’s how they weighed in.


“Never give up hope! You never know what is coming around the corner.”  -Ginger-791603


“Hang in there. It is a numbers game.”  Gerard-400247


“Keep sending them…..then one day you’ll see more responses than you could imagine! I still send out a lot more emotes than I get back. Some have never responded, even to a few emotes. I understand. Keep smiling and keep hope alive.”  John-631631


“I would encourage you to post in the rest of the forums and join the chat room – people who participate in these are full, paid members of CatholicMatch and can return communication with you. There are many people who have profiles on CatholicMatch but do not pay for a membership and are not actively seeking a match. These people may never check their CM account. Also, I have found that often new members don’t really know how to use the site yet and are bit intimidated by all the facets of the site.

Keep sending out your line; we can’t catch any fish if we don’t have a line in the water. And while you are waiting for men to respond to your lovely emails and emotes, keep hanging out with us in the fora and maybe even attend an event or two. That’s the best part during the in-between time: making great friends among like minded people from all over our Church.”  -Dawn-58330


“Sometimes this online dating thing can be just like a real life barn dance – the men don’t want to drag themselves out on the dance floor, so the ladies get out there and hoot and holler and have a good time…until it is just a bunch of dudes leaning up against the barn wall. Then suddenly one nice fella tips his hat and dances with you.”  Craig-388270


“Now that I participate in the forums when inspired to do so, I receive a lot more communication from guys ‘stopping by’ to read my profile. I tend to find the guys who do post to be more interesting to get to know better too. Matter of fact, I consider every post I make as an extension of my profile.”  -Elle-812598


“At first, like you, I didn’t post or enter chat rooms and became disappointed so I let my membership lapse. This time around I have been posting and entering the chat rooms and I am enjoying my interaction with other members. So keep posting and see what happens.”  -Mary-377702


“Over the years I’ve experienced much of the same thing. …I move on and try not to get too bent out of shape about it. After all, we cannot change others, nor can we make anyone respond to us. While you are moving on, maybe participate some more in the forums, which gets your face out here with the rest of us, and we also get a chance to read more about how think and feel on various topics.”  -MaryAlice-97161



  1. Marian-1055781 May 18, 2014 Reply

    Iam in ireland and I find the irish men on catholic match very disappointing the do not even bother some of them to reply why are they so rude these are my fellow country men I can understand why they cannot find a match marian

  2. Matthew-962869 January 19, 2014 Reply

    Lisa, You can filter out the cafeteria Catholics by (when the search page is open) going to “Actions” in the upper right -> “Edit this search”. Click “Faith” on the left, change “Accepts Church Teachings” to “All” Then click Update Saved Search on the bottom.

  3. Lisa-993922 November 30, 2013 Reply

    I find it discouraging that there’s no way of knowing whether or not someone is a 7/7 without viewing his profile and showing up as a view. I am a 7/7 hardcore and only interested in considering a man who is also a 7/7. If I could tell at a glance without clicking on his profile whether he was, or if any non-7/7s were filtered from being visible to me and I filtered from being visible to them, there would be considerably less to weed through and it would be easier to find men whom I am actually willing to contact or respond to.

  4. Karen-800391 April 15, 2012 Reply

    I too find it somewhat disheartening that people don’t respond. I feel it’s just common courtesy and I do my best to respond to anyone that sends me a message. Everyone is busy, but it only takes a moment. I liken it to someone saying hello to you in person and you ignore them. I don’t think that’s how we act face to face so why act that way online? It’s nice when someone takes the time to reach out!

  5. Natalia-815791 February 11, 2012 Reply

    Well I have the same problem, because many men are thinking, hummm this girl is from other country she need a green card, and I don´t need it. in fact I´m american citizen, or they look a girl with extra few pounds, and don´t replay my emoticons, but you know what? even if I don´t sent any message or have emoticons, I know God is working to gift me a good man, just I have to wait to His time, not mine. If you don´t have more emoticons they´re losing the chance to meet a wonderful human.

  6. Dennis-474361 February 5, 2012 Reply

    I have the same experiences with no reponses to emots or messages, and being in the Southern hemisphere and remote to the US makes it even more difficult.We all need to live with hope that some day things might change.

  7. Matt-672561 February 5, 2012 Reply

    I think it would be better if we could somehow know who was a paying member or not. A paying member who could actually write something in response to our emotiograms or mails, then we wouldn’t have to wonder what we said wrong causing us not to get many, if any, responses. Maybe a flag on their profile or something indicating they are a paying, current member who is actually trying to find a match. I really think dating sites should NOT let people register for free and post their profiles and pictures for free. You should have to pay to post.

    • John-146319 February 11, 2012 Reply

      Just about every dating site does this and it’s driven by revenues. It encourages non-paying members to subscribe to read their locked emotes, emails, and other extended forms of communication. Very few members will send an emote or message to someone they know cannot reply, so those non-paying members (who likely outnumber paying members exponentially) are not motivated to pay for a membership.

  8. Suzanne-10056 February 5, 2012 Reply

    Very helpful and encouraging !

  9. Sam-820859 February 5, 2012 Reply

    It would be helpful if the site would install a photo for you, and require that you just send them one; many dating sites will do this fro you. The photo is the important part for many people, but at the same time, the hardest part to get in.

    • Rita-953480 August 13, 2013 Reply

      Sam, I totally agree, I didn’t know hoe to get the photo on the web site,
      I finally ask my son to help me. I think your idea is great

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